Political Feud: Matt Gaetz vs. Kevin McCarthy | Missing Children Crisis | Love Doctor's Wisdom

00:02.44
Bruce Anthony
Welcome First of all welcome welcome to unsolicited perspectives I'm your host Bruce Anthony on today's episode we're going to be talking about Matt Gates and Kevin Mccarthy beef we're gonna be talking about missing children. We're also going to be talking about the media not giving us all our information when it comes to crime and also for the first time ever I'm going to be introducing the love doctor segment the love doctor segment is going to be a segment where I answer questions about relationships and love and things of that nature on today. Episode I'm going to have a friend of mine come on and tell us about her current situationship and she's going to ask my advice on helping her out. But first things first.

00:53.63
Bruce Anthony
All right? The good news is the country avoided a shutdown the even better news is for me personally because one it creates content and 2 I just like seeing the internal conflict that comes in these political parties because. I'm not going to go into specifics but there should be more than just two political parties. They they're both corrupt. 1 ne's more corrupt than another but they're both corrupt but Matt gates and Kevin Mccarthy are going at each other so Matt gates is agitated that Kevin Mccarthy basically avoided the shutdown. And now he's looking to bring up a vote to kick Kevin Mccarthy out of his speakership in return the house republicans are preparing a motion to expel Matt gates. This is all because he is nonstop going at Kevin Mccarthy trying to get him out now. I said this once before twice before 3 times before I've repeated it over and over again. Kevin Mccarthy is a weak leader. He was weak because he wanted to get the speakership so badly that he gave up a lot too many concessions to a small faction. Of the republican party that gave them power and control and one of the things that he did was that only 1 person only 1 person out of the entire G O P Caucus only 1 person needed to bring up a vote to be able to oust him from his office.

02:24.94
Bruce Anthony
Which meant that at any time he pissed off somebody they could call for him to be voted out of his speakership and Matt Gatets has taken him up on the offer now I am no fan of Matt gates at all whatsoever. Let's not forget the fact this man may be a a sexual. Um. Predator isn't the right word. Ah he he has he might have some sexual misconduct in his past that it all kind of just went sweeped swept under the rug and there's questions in that regard and honestly I just feel like he's a liar and a cheat and he is that stereotypical politician. That swimy and slimy and grease ball league like he can't trust anything that he says this is who I believe him to be however, he has legitimate beef with Kevin Mccarthy because gates is talking about how Mccarthy is making side deals with president Biden not bringing up. Ah, legislation for votes in the house that is part of their rules. So essentially he's accusing Kevin Mccarthy of breaking the rules that the republican G O P created when Mccarthy took speakership and well he is Ken Mccarthy is doing that. 1 of the main things was ah Kevin Mccarthy was not supposed to rely on democratic votes to pass legislation and he did that in order to avert this government shutdown now what is that basically saying that's basically saying don't work.

04:01.69
Bruce Anthony
With the opposing side don't govern properly don't rely on democratic votes if we want to get something passed as we had the house majority by a very slim margin then we'll get something passed. Ok all right. That's just that's effectively saying. We don't want the government to work government is about compromise dealmaking is about compromise it's about 2 sides coming together and leaving the negotiating table with I didn't get all I wanted but I got a lot of what I wanted and I feel good about this deal. That's that's the art of deal making right? it. If you're going to have continuous negotiations with a particular party. In other words, you're doing multiple deals with a particular party. Let's just say for business. For instance, you're doing multiple deals with a particular party. The last thing you want to do in business ethics. Whatever you call it. When negotiating the deal that you're going to have to negotiate with these people again somewhere down the road is negotiate so fiercely so harshly that you win by stripping them of everything. They're never gonna want to deal with you in good faith again. They're gonna want to. Come back at you by stripping you of everything the next time that you guys make a deal That's not the way you get things done. You get things done by saying all right I want 10 you want six eight it is why let's meet in the middle meeting in the middle is always meeting in the middle is not compromising your beliefs.

05:34.46
Bruce Anthony
It's not It's saying look I want to get all of this done can't get all of this done right now. Let me get this. Let me get what I can get done now and move forward in the future to get more stuff done. That's how politics is supposed to work the greatest president I believe Lyndon Baines Johnson L B J knew that he couldn't get the voting rights act and the civil rights act passed at the same time he knew he couldn't do it. He had to piece meal it so he got the civil rights act passed first and then the voting rights act passed a couple of years later because he knew he couldn't get both of them at the same time. Sometimes you had to pick your battles in order to win the war. Um, and to to go in to initially start the house sessions when speaker Mccarthy got the speakership to go in and as a rule say. We're not going to lie rely on democratic ah votes to pass legislation. That's just automatically dealing in and bad faith. But we knew this going into it and I don't know that's solely a republican thing. Um I'm sure there are Democrats that are just like we had the majority. We'll just do and pass. Whatever we want to do. And that's not because the majority passes in the house all the time and you're going to be working with these people all the time you're Goingnna have disagreements but you should be able to work together. So the initial rules that the go op put forth that Kevin Mccarthy agreed to.

07:11.50
Bruce Anthony
Seem stupid in principle. That's just me they seem stupid in principle but Matt Gates has a point Kevin Mccarthy is breaking the very rules that he said that he agreed upon so I mean and and and another deal that he made is that 1 person 1 person could bring up ah a vote. To remove him for office now. It kind of seems like republicans are trying to get back at Matt gates because he's under investigation the health ethics ethics committee and they're waiting to get back anything so they can expel him and that's gonna he almost wants that to happen for his political career. He'll get. Reelected just like the young men in Tennessee who were expelled their voting districts are going to vote them back in his voting district will absolutely vote him back in. He'll be a representative again in next, go around right? But what does this prove by making him a martyr it doesn't. Doesn't do anything It's just dirty pool but I love it personally, it's messy as hell and I love it I want everybody to continue on to be messy as hell in this government. You know what? let the whole thing shut down. Not actually a legitimate shutdown but let the whole thing burn. Why not. It's it's it's slowly but surely no longer working and I don't know that it ever really worked well enough for the american people anyway, the government is there to supposed to help us support us and doesn't seem like that's what they're doing another thing that people are getting upset about it and i'm.

08:46.58
Bruce Anthony
I go back and forth about how I feel about this is you know Matt Gates is really agitated that there might be a side deal between Kevin Mcgarthy and president Biden to keep pushing a to Ukraine I believe that a to ukraine needs to be pushed. Um I believe that Putin. Is a dangerous dangerous man that we need to defeat at all costs I also believe 6000000000 and plus is a lot of money to be given given to another foreign country when we have starving babies here on our own. Ah. There has to be a happy medium right? Like I said there's a compromise right? You can't in 1 instance, be trying to cut head start and be trying to cut food vouchers be trying to cut Wic here for the people that are struggling in the United States but then given 7 6 excuse me 6000000000 that's a billion wit a b six. Billion dollars in aid to a country that may or may not win a war. We want them to win a war. They've lasted a hell of a lot longer than we thought that they would have but we don't know that they're going to win the war and there are starving babies here in this country but that leads me to a bigger issue just the state of children. In this country now some of you guys may have known. It's a huge Amber alert and I'm going to butcher so many things in this next segment I am I'm going to butcher the name of this young child I'm going to butcher the park where where she was ah.

10:18.80
Bruce Anthony
Abducted I'm going to butcher. Ah those are the only 2 things going butcher but I guarantee you I'm going to butcher. Um, so Charlotte Cna that's what I'm gonna say charlot cna is a nine year old girl who disappeared during a cramp camping trip at Maroo Merlo not marrlo. Ah. Ah, lake state park in New York Charlotte was last seen wearing an orange tie dye Pokemon Shirt dark blue pants black crocs and a gray bike helmet around six fifteen p m on Saturday her bike was found about 30 minutes later and the New York state believed New York state police believe that she is in imminent danger or serious harm or death. Um that they're searching with park rangers special ops people police you know volunteers they got dogs drones boat underwater teams um all that stuff and. This is very sad because it's another child abduction. Um, how did it hit close to home to me. Well I have a friend who actually knows the family and who has met this little girl who grew up with the family because. This person is from upstate New York where this family is from and you know she she was telling me about it and I was okay. Yeah I read about that or I saw the little blurb she was like I know that girl and for me, it hit differently than most abductions you see abductions.

11:47.49
Bruce Anthony
All the time there are amber alerts all the time we look at them we glance at them. We kind of pay attention to them. Um, if we could notice anything we'll be on a lickout but most of the time we're not vigilant and trying to find these children but this hit closer to home to me because it's not ° of separation but almost. Right? Like I know a person who knew this little girl who knows the family and who knows what they're going through and it's just like man I don't have kids maybe one day I will as of right now I do not but I do know if I did have kids. The greatest fear is what those parents are going through right now. Um, and and this isn't the only situation and Cleveland Ohio it is said there are reports multiple reports out there that there's over 1 Thousand minors that have been reported missing in the Cleveland area and 2023 alone. We just started October nine months one thousand including nearly fifty in September Fifty kids in September. Ah, the Cleveland police are investigating over 130 missing person cases with more than 45 children missing in Northeast Ohio in the current month that was last month which was September um, the police chief Wayne Drummond did confirm. There's been a 20% increase in the number of missing juvenile.

13:18.52
Bruce Anthony
This year but saying that the stats and the numbers are often miskewed because of ah poor reporting um by the media poor stat information being put in by the police departments they're saying it's not quite that high. But that there is an increase in missing persons underage some of those are are runaways some of them aren't abductions but some of them are abductions and it's just like like I said I don't have kids but I have a lot of friends who have kids. And and I consider all my friends that have kids my little nieces and nephews and I if I lost them I would go stir crazy and a lot of that lot of these people aren't my blood but their family and like I said this you know I pray for. Senior family I pray for all those people that have got miss or are missing their children in Ohio and all over the country. You know there was this movie that came out and for the life of me right now it slips my mind but it was highly sensationalized. Um. Idea of child trafficking and child trafficking has this is not a new thing right? This is not a new thing. I'm not belittling it at all. But this is not a new thing. There's been child trafficking since we all were kids and I'm grown I'm a grown ass man and been on this earth for 43 years so

14:53.18
Bruce Anthony
But at least for 43 years this has been a major concern of kids being abducted I had an old youth basketball coach. Ah legitimately who was convicted and sent to prison for child molestation.

15:09.93
Bruce Anthony
And this was a youth basketball Coach. He coached my sixth grade a U team and he also coached little league baseball where he molested ah one of the boys and with and was set to Prison. So These things have been happening here's my problem with certain groups of people. That talk about this. They say it's a big deal. They get all up in arms about it and I'm talking about conservatives. They say it's a big deal to get all up in arms about it. They preach and preach and preach about how they want to protect the children how they want to protected children ah in the Womb. And how they want to protect the children from sex trafficking and I'm for all of that stuff right? Well I'm pro-choice by by nature because I don't feel. It's my right to choose somebody else's. What somebody else should do with their life. That's that's that's not I don't want that type of power I don't want that type of power to have to where you know my beliefs are placed on other people and they are forced to uphold my beliefs that just I just don't That's not the person that I am in my personal life and my prose choice of Pro. Pro-life I I could go either way given the right circumstance right? Obviously it's it's never ah, an easy choice. Um, but the idea that certain conservatives would be up in arms.

16:41.60
Bruce Anthony
About sex trafficking and like I said I wish I knew what that movie was and I could probably look it up right now as I'm talking about this. Um, that would be agitated and be up in arms about sex trafficking and I've legitimately had some conservatives say. You always bring up slavery but there's child Slavery. It's sex slavery right now I'm like don't don't don't do that. Don't don't compare Traumas Don't belittle what my people went through just because you're trying to make a point right? There is an errors and an open agenda. To rewrite history and make it seem like either slavery didn't exist or wasn't that bad. This is open and honest rewriting and I would say to those conservatives who care so much about their children because there are people out there in the world like myself who legitimately care about children. Why don't you do certain things like fix the gun loss more kids are dying from school shooting than anything else. They don't want to hear that though they don't want to hear that though, why don't we address some some issues that are in religion and the church. Lot of sexual Misconduct with children is done in the church. It's done. Some of it is done in the schools. There are police officers that have been arrested for child pornography on on their lab time. The point is not to minimize. Ah I know I'm going all over the place.

18:14.73
Bruce Anthony
And so many people listening like Bruce what's your damn point. The point is don't be a hypocrite right? All of it is bad. All of it is bad children being abducted is bad and every situation should be highlighted put on Cnn have. Have um news alerts and Amber alerts for every single missing child every single one if we were really about protecting the kids. That's what we should be doing. Don't.

18:51.26
Bruce Anthony
Try and compare tragedies and minimize something else because you have a hidden agenda and too often people are doing that too often. People are hypocrites too often. People are minimizing other people's traumas right now today I learned a very valuable lesson all of these child abductions should be given this type of attention and. Everybody should be out there trying to find any missing child I can't admit there was some apathy that's come over me with the Amber alerts because it's always like so far away. It's not happening to me. It's not something that I'm personally dealing with oh I've got I got work I got to do I got to finish these reports I got to do this do that? Um I can't focus on this right now. I'm totally calling myself out because had my friend not said I know this little girl. And would the treaty did like every other abduction I hope they find her I pray for the family. Yeah, but that would have been it and I still don't know what actually my purpose will be in this except maybe it was an awakening to stop being numb.

20:24.17
Bruce Anthony
To the things that are happening the children stand up yell get attention and say to people hey this is freaking important the most precious thing that we have in this world are children. You try to protect them at all costs. Ah let me rephrase that protect their safety in reasonable cost. Okay, you know too many people are worried about um, no books being read to their children and not more about. Who are you sitting your children with when they go to events right? when they go do boy scouts or girl scouts or they go to the the they go to bible study or they go to play baseball or basketball. You know there should be more due diligence in things that. Are actually a legitimate problem and that can cause harm to children then these faux things that we believe will cause harm to children. This is a sad day because a little girl is missing. She has been missing. Two days now at least 40 some odd miners were missing in the Cleveland area last month what's going on what's happening time for us to open up our eyes.

21:57.20
Bruce Anthony
Start asking real questions and get active.

22:10.81
Bruce Anthony
This one is going to be this segment is going to be short. Ah and it's gonna it's gonna be reading reading with Bruce now a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine told me about an abduction in my neck at the woods in Alexandria virginia there's this area that's called old town alexandria it's kind of those historic districts and the the city council and alexandria city which is where I live ah is is very much they have certain rules. You can't do too much construction in this area because they want to maintain. The look of the historic district. Um, so one of my friends told me there was a story a couple of weeks back about a young woman walking down a busy street and was attacked and almost abducted in broad daylight and on that day. I said well I haven't heard anything about the story. This is our neck in woods I haven't heard anything about it and I google searched it and I was like you know I'm really not seeing anything about this story I'm sorry you got it from next door. Yeah I don't be trusting the next door app. So I said I don't think it's a real story. And I came on this podcast and I talked about it and I was like yeah you know sometimes you got to you got to be careful what you're getting from social media or these apps like I don't know if next door would be considered social media. But these social gathering type apps. You got to be careful with the information that you're given but you got to you got to check it make sure that that it is valid.

23:44.10
Bruce Anthony
And because I couldn't find anything on the internet about it at all I attribute it to it being a you know nonsense post that somebody put up there that didn't know what they were talking about. However. A friend of mine was listening to the podcast that sent me a text said. No. It was a true story. It is the article about it. So I'm going to do what I love to do reading reading for the class. So the title of the article is called Alexandra police. Sharing few details on an alleged attempt atduction and robbery of a woman in old town now this is very very important to note because I'm going to tell you when this article was posted and not in the Washington post not in any of the major news organizations just in the alexandria. Newspaper right? A local local newspaper and this article was published September Fifteenth all right? Just remember when this article was published. It's become real important when I read the first paragraph the Alexandria police department is investigating an alleged attempt at robbery. And abduction in old town on Friday September First September Fifteenth is when this article was written the attempted abduction and robbery started September happened September first at around Eleven P M a thirty year old woman flagged down and.

25:11.74
Bruce Anthony
Apd officer that's Alexandra police department officer just outside the fire hook bakery at four Thirty South Washington street to report she was a victim of an attempted abduction and assault according to the police scanner. The victim was treated at the scene for injury to her mouth according to the police scanner on Thursday night nearly two weeks after the incident Apd confirmed that the incident occurred and that we are aware we are aware of the recent social media post about the incident the social media post about the incident was what I didn't believe happened on the next door app. But guess what it really did happen. Ah, the Apd provided no details on the incident and did not respond to questions sent by a lx now Alexandria now on Wednesday now let me read to you guys. What was the post on the next door app on September first 23 friday of labor day weekend. A woman was walking across Wilke Street and South Washington street toward fireook bakery and a man following her grabbed her from behind and violently threw her to the ground then put her in a chokehold and dragged her behind the bakery into the alley a man in a car at a light turned down wilp street. And confronted the assailant and the women ran to his car until police arrived. This was reported by police as a robbery and a kidnack abduction. The gas station across the intersection guided on camera. The sailing has not been arrested. Okay, so my friend sent me that post or showed me the post.

26:41.64
Bruce Anthony
And was in person. She showed me the post and I was just like now I mean if this happened we would know about it. This is a major area and what is supposed to be a safe neighborhood. No no, no, no, no, we would absolutely know about this but the a p d. Two weeks later still not giving on information. So I'm go continue on reading the article the victim reported that the suspect of the middle eastern man in his twenty s with a dark beard tan backpack baggie hoodie and dark pants according to the police scanner the manager of an exile station said he has a video of the incident and is willing to provide it to the police. They they haven't reached out to him and he hasn't made an effort to send it to them. The manager refused to show the video to the newspaper I have the he's quoted as saying I had the video when they won it. The manager said you see the man following her and at the end of the fire hook. He grabbed her. She was able to break away. She runs away turns around and looks like. She's asking him a question and then he grabs her again pulls her into the parking lot. The mayor don't have no information. Yeah there's a mayor in this little small city. The mayor don't have this and no information. Um, and he's waiting on the crime reports and um. The crime reports don't match what witnesses are saying happen now when I got this information from my friend. Ah that sent me the newspaper article I said oh they were covering up crime in the area because this area is supposed to be.

28:11.15
Bruce Anthony
These safe neighborhoods that nothing ever happens you know people can lead the door unlocks and walk around with the dogs late at night don't worry about it. It's highly populated area. It's nothing but pristine live it. No the hell it isn't know the hell it isn't there are attempted abductions. Happened it. It wasn't broad daylight. Okay I was wrong about that. It was eleven o'clock at night. Still It's a high traffic area I know what that area is I've been past it. It's a high traffic area and in fact that they haven't caught this person. The fact that they haven't gone to the Exxon to get ah the tape. The fact that. People in this community didn't know for two weeks after the fact questions need to be asked and answered and the thing that I have to ask not necessarily of this community in which I live in but of these communities in which ah in which people live in that that. Praise that it's no crime and pristine are they really just covering up crime because this has clearly been a coverup of a crime that if it wasn't for nosesy ass neighbors. But important importantly, being nosesy nosy ass neighbors. That contacted and posted on next door app to warn everybody that put pressure on a police to actually investigate this thing or to give us information that actually happened we would have never known about it. How often does this happen how often.

29:37.91
Bruce Anthony
Are they are tempted abductions or legitimate abductions that are just not reported in these pristine areas. This should give everybody in the community pause and we should be holding the police department accountable for why we haven't gotten an information. And in your police department if you live in one of these pristine areas that says there is no crime trust me I read crime reports partly because of content partly because I'm really really nosy and like to know where all the crime is so I can stay away from it I don't like being near near crime myself I grew up in area that has some crime. Ah, told the story of on the fiftieth episode of how behind where I lived was an alley that led to a drugstore that sold that penny candy that my parents told me never go down that road. Don't do it don't do it I didn't listen I did it anyway. Saw a dead body dead body was in broad daylight dead body in the alley. Right? So I've lived in crime riddled areas I'm not going back to that I got a little bit of money now I got a little bit paper I want to live away from that I'll pay extra to live away from that. But if it's close to me and they're not giving me the information I have a legitimate problem. With the police withholding information that has to do with my community and you should be questioning and paying attention and keep your eyes and ears open with every community that you live in because there is crime there. There are shootings. There are attempted assaults. There are assaults. There are.

31:13.32
Bruce Anthony
Things happening out there that pristine neighborhoods and communities and cities and things like that want to sweep under the rug and say oh, it's not really that bad. Wow they are saying other cities are the absolute worst and let me tell you I've walked around New York city recently nothing happened to me I had friends that have gone and visited Chicago a brother just got back from Chicago nothing happened to him so it's funny how they portray certain communities as dangerous and other communities as pristine. And you go to these dangerous communities find out. They're not that dangerous. Oh don't get me wrong. There are dangerous parts to these communities but not not as dangerous of being portrayed in the media and then conversely some of these really pristine communities are saying hey we you know it's safe to come here. Don't worry. Nothing is pretty much going to ever happen to you here and things happen and they cover it up. We got to question everything be a skeptic when you when you read something be like is that the whole store when you hear some be like is that the whole store when you see some be like is that the whole store. Does that old expression believe half of what you believe half of what you see and none of what you hear? Yeah that's what we had to do to be diligent and and and life in general. Ah, but that's enough for me sitting on my soapbox talking about what my thoughts and what's going on in the news next up.

32:46.20
Bruce Anthony
The very first sex but segment of the love doctor did I still that from the Martin episode. Yeah I did I did still that for the Martin episode is he goingnna sue me for royalties I don't know I'm probably gonna have to change the name in the segment before right now. It's gonna be the love doctor and that's coming up next.

00:02.54
Bruce Anthony
All right ladies and german I said it before and now we're finally into it. It's the very first segment of the love doctor will I have to get rid of the name because I stole it from Martin maybe but I got my friend jen here and she's got some. Situationships that she needs help dealing with and I'm going to do my best to giver some advice in the situation. Do my best basically let me just tell youa something. The love doctor is always right? If you follow the love doctor's advice. You're gonna be okay, but without further ado let me introduce. Jen Jen say what's up to the audience I I'm good. How are you doing? Thank you for coming on the show I appreciate it? Yes, no problem now. Everybody's gonna be like well how come she don't want to show her face. Can you explain to the people why you don't want to show your face.

00:41.34
Jennifer 
Um, hi how are you.

00:45.80
Jennifer 
Thank you for having me I appreciate it too.

00:55.17
Jennifer 
Yes, so I run a dog walking business and I was running very late today and I look like a hot mess I didn't want to look like that on camera.

01:06.29
Bruce Anthony
Okay, well you know we get more audio ah subscribers than we do video subscribers so it should be just fine Now you've had a particular situation that's been going on now for the last couple of months.

01:12.73
Jennifer 
Okay.

01:20.33
Jennifer 
Um, yes.

01:22.78
Bruce Anthony
Let's let's not start officially from the beginning not from the beginning beginning because that goes back a few years with ah what are the names that we want to give these these these gentlemen.

01:25.32
Jennifer 
Okay.

01:35.99
Jennifer 
Um, um, like their actual names. Um, ah okay, okay.

01:37.30
Bruce Anthony
No, we don't want to give their actual names but their nicknames let's go boxing coach 1 boxing coach 2 and neighbor.

01:53.96
Jennifer 
Neighbor. Okay, okay.

01:56.40
Bruce Anthony
Okay, so if you could tell the audience a little bit about your history with boxing coach 1

02:05.14
Jennifer 
So boxing coach 1 um, we started out boxing just working out. It was completely business and it kind of when we we crossed the line with it.

02:09.44
Bruce Anthony
Right? right.

02:21.88
Jennifer 
And it turned into a situation ship and it just got really sticky. It got very like complicated.

02:24.87
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, and how long. Okay, um, ah, no puns and no puns intended. Um, okay. How long has this situation with boxing coach. 1 been going on. Okay, its couple of years and and you've told me the specifics about this relationship with boxing coach 1 what is the specifics to the to the.

02:41.10
Jennifer 
Couple of years. The.

02:50.34
Jennifer 
Yeah.

02:53.67
Bruce Anthony
To the situationship between you and box and coach 1

02:58.61
Jennifer 
Um, so it was kind of so we we started out obviously as you know trainer and client and then we crossed the line and it went more than that and then I found out that.

03:11.73
Bruce Anthony
Um, in here.

03:15.13
Jennifer 
He wasn't single at he was in a monogamous serious relationship.

03:17.00
Bruce Anthony
Now when you say not single just how not single was he um and and and it was just a relationship. He wasn't married. Okay.

03:28.29
Jennifer 
No, he wasn't married. It was just a relationship. Yeah yes to no now.

03:32.43
Bruce Anthony
Does This gentleman have kids how many kids does he have are they from the same person. Okay, ah it is this person around your age.

03:47.84
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, boxing coach 1 a little bit older. Okay, and so y'all cross the line and do you continuously cross the line or what how frequent is this crossing of the line.

03:48.88
Jennifer 
Um, the boxing coach. Ah yeah, ah, a little bit older. But yeah around my age.

04:03.30
Jennifer 
So the crossing of the line was probably once every couple weeks in the beginning.

04:10.30
Bruce Anthony
Okay, in the beginning I'm sorry I don't mean to chuckle is just just continue on I'm a child. The love doctor is serious. The advice I'm going to give is serious but the love doctor is also a giant child that likes to chuckle but go ahead.

04:18.24
Jennifer 
Um.

04:19.72
Jennifer 
Okay. Ah, so it started out like once every two weeks and then a couple months and I found out actually no, it was more than a couple months in I found out that he was in a relationship all right about that.

04:38.42
Bruce Anthony
Okay, what happened then.

04:44.73
Jennifer 
What was that? Um, at that point I stopped the situation ship and I stopped boxing with him so months went by and we would continue to text.

04:45.37
Bruce Anthony
What happened then.

04:52.98
Bruce Anthony
Um, okay, okay.

05:04.12
Jennifer 
And you know just kind of check in with each other and then we randomly met up like six months later it was right before Christmas actually of last year

05:10.48
Bruce Anthony
Um, aha.

05:16.86
Bruce Anthony
Okay, and what happened when you randomly met up.

05:22.73
Jennifer 
Um, well the situation ship started over. Yes.

05:26.80
Bruce Anthony
Continued Yeah, they continued what it What is what is it that draws you to him.

05:36.90
Jennifer 
Um, he always keeps me in a state of confusion. Well at the time Anyway, like it's like I'm drawn to this game I think I'm attracted to the game. Um, he never he doesn't commit.

05:42.43
Bruce Anthony
For.

05:53.29
Jennifer 
He doesn't stick to plans and I think I For some reason I think my subconscious likes it because it's never boring.

06:01.22
Bruce Anthony
Oh it's never born. It's on it So always on your toes. It's toxic. It's toxic. It's toxic this person never can miss anything. Do you want a commitment from this person.

06:04.92
Jennifer 
Yes.

06:11.88
Jennifer 
No, so that's the other part that gets tricky like so if he changed the way he was which he kind of did more recently I lost interest. So I'm only when he pulls away but when he does when he comes back.

06:26.39
Bruce Anthony
You have.

06:31.88
Jennifer 
I get bored and I search for other situationship.

06:35.80
Bruce Anthony
Now. Okay, ah, okay, so ah, that's that situation number one I would say that and I'm not a ah you know I'm the love doctor but I'm not a.

06:48.63
Jennifer 
Yes.

06:50.54
Bruce Anthony
Clinical therapist. But what you're describing to me is called anxious attachment. You have a fear of abandonment and that leads you to hold on to things that you feel might abandon you.

06:57.10
Jennifer 
Um, ah, okay, yeah.

07:08.55
Bruce Anthony
When you're comfortable. You know that you're not gonna be abandoned. You're like ah okay, this is born but it all stems from childhood. Not to say that your parents abandon you or anything like that. But all this stuff stems from Childhood um of of that need.

07:11.20
Jennifer 
Yes.

07:18.18
Jennifer 
And.

07:25.45
Bruce Anthony
For it some form or some fashion. There was a time that we needed our parents and they weren't quite there for us whether it's emotionally mentally or physically so we yearn for that and we yearn for that in our partners. Um, that is a very loose nonscientific way of explaining anxious.

07:31.70
Jennifer 
Um.

07:42.70
Jennifer 
Okay.

07:45.21
Bruce Anthony
Attachment but it seems like that you kind of had that it's more It's always more fun to being something that's unpredictable but people often miss the people often confuse excitement for anxiety. They're similar um and and the way they feel in your body but it's not excitement. It's anxiety. Ah okay, so that's boxing coach 1 tell me about the neighbor.

08:05.41
Jennifer 
Yeah.

08:12.23
Jennifer 
Um, yeah, okay so the neighbor was like a whirlwind. Um Hookup I would say ah so when we met on the elevator and.

08:22.52
Bruce Anthony
The.

08:28.84
Jennifer 
We exchanged? No he got my number or no did he give me his number. No he got oh he gave yeah got each other's number. Um, we immediately started texting within like.

08:36.22
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, yeah, yeah, y'all got numbers. Y'all got each other's number.

08:46.60
Jennifer 
5 minutes of me getting off the elevator and he was texting like crazy that whole weekend. So that was the Friday and I was completely turned off to the point I think I even sent to you I said this guy.

08:46.75
Bruce Anthony
Um.

08:48.94
Bruce Anthony
Okay.

08:54.91
Bruce Anthony
The more. Yes, you did I was gonna get to that but I'm gonna let you finish telling the story.

09:04.76
Jennifer 
Kind of weird and he texts way too much like he seems desperate and then like I would say how long maybe a week later are okay.

09:15.59
Bruce Anthony
No, you see you're you're forgetting the importance of the story so me and you me and you were working out and you were telling me about this gentleman that got your phone number and was texting you all weekend and you was like Bruce.

09:23.75
Jennifer 
Yes.

09:32.47
Jennifer 
Yeah.

09:34.28
Bruce Anthony
Kind of annoying I don't know that I'm really that interested and then you were used to a good morning text every morning for the for the next couple of days and that particular day he was a little bit late on a good morning text but you kept looking for the good morning text.

09:51.24
Jennifer 
Yes.

09:53.44
Bruce Anthony
On your phone and I said oh okay, when he was when he was all up in your business texting you all day long. You didn't have no interest in him. But now all of a sudden He hasn't texted you a little bit now that piqued your interest and from then on.

10:01.37
Jennifer 
Now.

10:11.97
Bruce Anthony
You were really really interested in him.

10:12.37
Jennifer 
Yeah, because he started with um, not texting me back leaving me on red and then sometimes he would text me like there were some days in there. He would want to chat like back and forth forever. And then I I wouldn't hear from him from for like four days so it's kind of like that roller coaster rush like it's giving me like a dopamine rush I guess is the way I would describe it and so be on my toes which keeps me interested.

10:33.36
Bruce Anthony
Where her. The. But once again is adding excitement or anxiety.

10:46.98
Jennifer 
Now that you brought up the anxious attachment style I think it's more anxiety. Yeah.

10:53.75
Bruce Anthony
Yeah I mean because once again, the feelings are similar right? excitement and anxiety. You could still feel the same way in your body but it's just like how your mind perceives these things. So I know when I'm anxious.

10:55.75
Jennifer 
Yes, yes.

11:13.50
Bruce Anthony
Just when I'm obsessing over something because my body my body one will tell me hey man this doesn't feel right right? and and it's not excitement. It is this doesn't feel right? So your body is telling you and your mind is telling you and it doesn't feel right? but you're misinterpreted as.

11:16.90
Jennifer 
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

11:32.45
Bruce Anthony
This is good excitement and then there's a relief when you're waiting for a text you're waiting for a text you're waiting for a call back. There's anxiety waiting and then there's a relief when you finally get it. It's like okay everything is okay, he texted me back. He called me um than that relief.

11:37.65
Jennifer 
Yeah. Yeah, yes, yes.

11:51.64
Bruce Anthony
Is there and then the anxiety takes over again whenever there's a hint that something isn't right? Whether it's in your mind or it's real when it's something that isn't right in your mind then you start to get anxious and you're waiting for that next deep breath relax relaxing moment.

12:00.65
Jennifer 
Yeah, yeah.

12:09.90
Jennifer 
Yeah, it is like this sense of relief like like I calm down like my cortisol levels go down like as soon as his name come up I'm like okay, everything's okay.

12:11.25
Bruce Anthony
When you hear from them. Um, that's anxiety.

12:17.98
Bruce Anthony
Right? Yep, you got your fix all right? So tell tell me about boxing coach number 2

12:28.78
Jennifer 
Okay, so um, we met I think like three years ago and then we just kept running into each other on the street like we we always just happen to be at the same place at the same time. It was.

12:36.95
Bruce Anthony
Okay. 80.

12:46.18
Jennifer 
Coincidental just kind of weird and um, he gave me his information and you know told me to let him know if I'm interested in boxing with him and um so I I didn't really do anything about it because I was already. With someone else ah training with someone else. So then more recently. Um, we met up again in and the elevator in 1 of my clients buildings and he was like we ran into each other and I was like oh I was like you live here and he's like do you live here.

13:06.45
Bruce Anthony
The.

13:21.75
Bruce Anthony
Ah.

13:25.48
Jennifer 
And I was like no I said I have a client in here and he told me he lived here and then he gave me his information again and um, at that point you know I'm not boxing with number 1 again. So I ok maybe I'll start up again with this one because I kind of I really miss.

13:32.57
Bruce Anthony
Are.

13:38.32
Bruce Anthony
Okay.

13:44.15
Jennifer 
Boxing in general. so so I signed on and bought a package and um, a situation ship started from session 1

13:45.30
Bruce Anthony
The.

14:00.30
Bruce Anthony
Okay, how did this situation happen.

14:03.50
Jennifer 
And um, so we have first session and after the session he asked what I was doing later and I said actually I don't have any plans later and I said why and he said do you want to watch the game and I was like.

14:20.20
Bruce Anthony
M.

14:21.25
Jennifer 
He's like do you like football I said I mean I don't really follow it too much. But yeah I'd love to go watch the game so later on that day. It went from our plans went from watching the game to him coming over. But.

14:37.92
Bruce Anthony
We have.

14:39.52
Jennifer 
And I don't even know how that happened but it's just kind of dead and then the situation should started.

14:49.10
Bruce Anthony
And um, okay so the situation ship started and like how how did how did it Continue. Did it Continue. What did you find out anything about his background and his. His current situation or non-current situation like what was going on with him.

15:03.61
Jennifer 
He told me that he was in a complicated situation but that he's like he has someone but they're not really together but it's complicated. What did he call it. He called it an entanglement but I didn't remember.

15:18.83
Bruce Anthony
Okay, yeah.

15:23.23
Jennifer 
I thought that just meant you know it was complicated I didn't really understand that that meant you were the one that was like Jen yeah yeah.

15:30.46
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, an entanglement is a complication but it definitely is that What was his entanglement.

15:36.66
Jennifer 
His entanglement is that he has a serious girlfriend who he just had a baby with.

15:48.18
Bruce Anthony
Okay, that's what he told you is that he has a serious girlfriend that he just had a baby with okay I am ladies and gentlemen I'm leading the questions because I actually know the answers to the questions. Um, after doing some digging.

15:48.63
Jennifer 
Yes, yes.

16:03.15
Jennifer 
Yes, um, yes, yes I think so yes.

16:05.49
Bruce Anthony
Is it his girlfriend.

16:11.33
Bruce Anthony
I Thought you told me that no, they're married.

16:13.28
Jennifer 
Well, they're pretty much like married but I don't think they're like lit together and have a baby and staff. Yeah.

16:18.74
Bruce Anthony
But okay and how old is that baby.

16:26.60
Jennifer 
Ah, um I think like two months old yeah no total. But.

16:30.74
Bruce Anthony
Okay, so the baby is two months so is that his only baby. Okay, how many babies does he have and yeah yeah, total.

16:41.79
Jennifer 
I had sex total. Yeah.

16:46.86
Bruce Anthony
He's got six kids total. Okay, well I mean he's got six kids total with the woman that he's with right now. How many different women are involved so he's got 6 kids by 3 different women. Okay.

16:51.48
Jennifer 
No, no, there's different women involved 3 I think um, yes.

17:05.33
Bruce Anthony
And you find out all of this after the situation ship or before.

17:06.91
Jennifer 
The kids with the different women before I didn't was with the last one. The last woman until he admitted it to me after I.

17:11.38
Bruce Anthony
Okay.

17:19.43
Bruce Anthony
Okay, okay, now your situation ship. How long did it last with this person.

17:23.92
Jennifer 
Um, um, like a month you know.

17:30.93
Bruce Anthony
Okay, and you decided or he decided or y'all decided to stop.

17:37.90
Jennifer 
Um, so you know the answer to this.

17:39.90
Bruce Anthony
I Know the answer but the people listening don't know the answer.

17:41.66
Jennifer 
Um, so um, he he was with me one night at my place and we were you know in the middle of situating.

17:49.33
Bruce Anthony
In here.

17:55.62
Bruce Anthony
Okay, okay, wait a minute I don't think I even know this I don't think I know this this is news to me. Okay, we will tell the audience and then let me see if it refreshes my memory. Yeah.

18:00.55
Jennifer 
Excellent I Think you do know this.

18:07.68
Jennifer 
Um, oh gosh. It's so weird to actually say this out loud. It sounds So ah.

18:14.65
Bruce Anthony
This This is the reason why I was like yeah you need to say this out loud and not just to me to hear everything that's going on but go ahead, go ahead.

18:22.50
Jennifer 
So all of a sudden he had this look of like devastation come over his face I had never seen anything like it before like his eyes changed. He looked like he was going to Cry I was like oh my God I said okay and he shook his head. No.

18:35.40
Bruce Anthony
M.

18:41.92
Jennifer 
And I said what's wrong and he's he said I I can't do this and I was like oh okay, um is what's going on I'm confused like did I do something and he said no no, no, no, no, it has nothing to do with you. There's nothing wrong with you.

19:01.12
Jennifer 
And I said so so what's wrong and um, he said that's when he told me that he's wet. He has somebody that he's actually with somebody and that she would be devastated if she knew what he did doing.

19:16.72
Bruce Anthony
Okay, and so and so y'all cut it off and you continued on to box with them. Were there any other attempts to get together.

19:20.27
Jennifer 
So we yes we can.

19:31.29
Jennifer 
Um, he called one night but I didn't answer and then I I just never called him back or texted. But I I don't know what he was I mean he might have been calling to come over I don't really know because he didn't call back. Ah.

19:34.65
Bruce Anthony
Okay.

19:46.74
Bruce Anthony
Okay.

19:48.39
Jennifer 
And since that whole thing happened. We've just boxed. That's it. It's we've been keeping it completely professional. He hasn't tried anything. He hasn't called me he has it I mean we text and stuff but about boxing he's kept it all boxing. Yeah.

20:02.15
Bruce Anthony
Okay, you kept it all business now with all 3 of these men are you done situation shipping with them or is there opportunity for there to be some more situations.

20:08.50
Jennifer 
Yes.

20:18.48
Jennifer 
Ah neighbor there could be opportunity for more situations. We text all the time but he doesn't neighbor anymore he moved to Maryland so.

20:23.47
Bruce Anthony
Okay, right and didn't you say that he disappears from time to time then you don't hear from him. Okay, so I would ask you? what is it.

20:30.20
Jennifer 
Yes, yes, yes.

20:39.52
Jennifer 
Ah.

20:41.97
Bruce Anthony
That you want out of interactions with people that you would like to date. What is the ultimate outcome that you would like to have.

20:54.52
Jennifer 
Um, so and I've had this conversation with you Bruce many times. Um, after going through all of this I don't think that I should be dating anyone.

21:10.58
Jennifer 
I think that I have a lot of healing to do from my door still and I think because I'm emotionally unavailable I'm putting out that energy and I'm getting emotional emotionally unavailable people back. So it's.

21:14.26
Bruce Anthony
The.

21:28.22
Jennifer 
I Think no matter who I date is what I'm trying to say I think it's going to be this same scenario over and over and over again until I heal and figure out figure out what it is really that I want.

21:40.25
Bruce Anthony
So for everybody out there listening she she stole it little of doctor's punchline because that's actually the vice that I told her this this this this was not you coming to coming to the realization on your own. This was the stuff that I've been telling her. But I think it's so important because I tell people all the time if you are messed up not messed up as in like something is wrong with you. But if you're not emotionally ready to date and a lot of times people don't know if they're emotionally ready to date or not sometimes it's the process of dating. And they realize oh I don't really feel like dating that you got to take a step back and it's okay to so to take a step back and recalibrate also looking at what reality is as opposed to what you want things to be There were oftentimes where you would be telling me these interactions with people and even with the neighbor you still gush about him but we didn't address the fact that neighbor has 2 kids by 2 different women and.

22:44.94
Jennifer 
Yes, by 2 different women. 1 of what that he just had a year ago. Yeah.

22:54.80
Bruce Anthony
1 with you just had a year ago that he was living with now that's a he's in but the other thing about that that we left out. We're talking about the neighbor is that he's in the process of getting a divorce or he just got divorced. He's not emotionally ready.

23:04.90
Jennifer 
Well, he is now but he just got divorced.

23:13.53
Bruce Anthony
He's not emotionally available so you got 2 unemotionally available people trying to get things going and there were so many times that you would be worrying about it and I'm like it's just a situation ship. Keep it just situational. You don't have to let the emotions get into it. If you enjoy this person's company. Enjoy the company and let that be it. You don't have to be in a relationship. You don't have to carry it like it's a relationship you can heal yourself and still have situations where you have you know sex partners like there's. There's nothing wrong with that if 2 people come into it understanding exactly what it is. We're gonna try to keep this emotion out of it as best we can when 1 person gets more emotion than the other. We can't continue on down this path because this wasn't the initial agreement. Um and and so often.

23:57.40
Jennifer 
Right? right? so.

24:07.37
Bruce Anthony
Those type of sexual relationships. Don't last because somebody always ends up catching feelings. But also it goes back to that original thing that I was talking about so often people can't realize what is anxiety.

24:11.11
Jennifer 
Yes, yes.

24:25.29
Bruce Anthony
And what is excitement.

24:25.54
Jennifer 
Yes I agree with you and I think mine is more anxiety I think I'm dopamine rush but it's actually anxiety. Um.

24:33.83
Bruce Anthony
Right? And a lot of people have that you're not the only one you're not the only one I will even say in my personal life. The love doctor has been attracted to women that are so bad for him because it's more exciting when those women are so bad for him. But it's not healthy because I also have an anxious attachment style. So what what I will say is it's really great that you finally listening to my advice I hope you listen to my advice because I still don't trust boxing coach number 2.

24:56.54
Jennifer 
Um, yeah.

25:07.46
Bruce Anthony
I Personally don't think that you should be getting involved with neighbor unless you can keep it strictly on that situationship because you nor he is ready for anything serious. However, the way you talk about him makes me believe that you got more than just a little crush.

25:13.40
Jennifer 
Um, yeah.

25:16.70
Jennifer 
Yes, so out of the 3 He's the one that I caught feeling the other two I did not catch feelings with it was more of a just kind of chasing the game but not.

25:33.65
Bruce Anthony
Alien.

25:34.98
Jennifer 
To be with them but neighbor. Yeah, we we have a straw a deeper connection where I could see actually like dating him which is.

25:43.53
Bruce Anthony
Do you? Yeah, do you guys actually have a deeper connection or do you want a deeper connection. Those are 2 completely different things. Those are 2 you you can want a deeper connection but you could not have that deeper connection so often.

25:50.88
Jennifer 
Um, you know I never thought about that. Maybe um, yeah.

26:02.83
Bruce Anthony
Things that we want. We'll see little glimpses of it and run with it there. It is. There's that sign I knew that this is what it was when all it was is a little glimpse of something that you made bigger than what it actually was so the question is how often do you all talk about serious subjects.

26:18.10
Jennifer 
Ah.

26:18.70
Bruce Anthony
What do you really? really know about that person deep down aside besides joking and a little bit about what what their surface level history is.

26:26.23
Jennifer 
That's true I mean we have a lot of our conversation I would say the majority is like comical like sending funny memes sending funny gifts him like being sarcastic and making fun of me me making fun of him back like it's a lot of it's like a playful type of communication. Um, we have had serious talks but the majority of the texting. No, it's more like you know, joking around kind of surface like what you said.

26:53.70
Bruce Anthony
And and let me ask you another question how often have you guys hung out and situations weren't involved.

27:00.44
Jennifer 
Once.

27:06.44
Bruce Anthony
So Aside from aside from situations and the fact that there's humor which are two very important things. It's good to be connected um physically and with personality types. That's cool. But when you say deep. Like how deep is it when it's really sex and jokes. Majority Majority is sex and jokes which in and of itself. There's nothing wrong with that. But to say that you're making a connection with this person that's deep when the majority of your time is sex and jokes is it really that deep.

27:33.95
Jennifer 
Yeah I No I Guess you're right? It's not maybe I just want it to be because of sense of humor I think I've told you that I love that.

27:41.41
Bruce Anthony
You want it to be deep and and there's nothing wrong with that right? That's cool. But once again you want something deeper but you've also acknowledged that you're not. Emotionally.

27:49.52
Jennifer 
L yeah.

28:00.52
Bruce Anthony
Ready to handle anything deeper.

28:01.80
Jennifer 
I'm not and I think if he did actually take me seriously I would get freaked out I don't actually go there to be honest with you I think I I think I actually like it the way it is.

28:07.85
Bruce Anthony
And.

28:15.82
Jennifer 
Which which is bad though because I shouldn't like this the way that it is you know.

28:19.56
Bruce Anthony
I Don't think there's necessarily anything bad with just sometimes people are in your life just for a season and a reason right? like maybe this person neighbor is in your life because I don't know. Yeah,, there's a connection there and and then you'll want to kick it as long as you're not fill a void because you're lonely and a lot of people do that. They're Lonely. Don't realize they're lonely and they're they're fill a void with other people until until they get bored with them and then they kick them aside. That's what.

28:43.72
Jennifer 
Yeah, yeah.

28:54.80
Bruce Anthony
A lot of this dating atmosphere is like now people are bored right? People are lonely so people will go out there and they'll get on their dating sites and they'll go out and they'll go on a million dates and maybe 1 person they'll actually lock in for three or four months and then they'll get bored with that person just because the only reason why they were dating that poor person is because they were filling time.

28:55.94
Jennifer 
Yeah.

29:11.71
Jennifer 
Yeah.

29:13.97
Bruce Anthony
Because they were lonely and then they get bored and then they move on to the next person when they're not actually just ah, ah, ah, taking into account What is actually going on with them. Why do you feel? Lonely Let's figure that out first. So not to say that you feel lonely because there's some people that.

29:21.82
Jennifer 
Right? right.

29:31.20
Bruce Anthony
Like being alone and and aren't lonely. Ah, you're one of the purpose people that I know that loves loves their solace loves their their solid their solitude. Um, also you could be lonely.

29:39.62
Jennifer 
Ah I also I think we forgot to mention 1 thing I don't mind bringing this up I'm actually I'm not a I'm not um, ah what's the word I'm not embarrassed by it.

29:46.49
Bruce Anthony
Oh lord here we go.

29:57.18
Jennifer 
Um, so I did start anxiety medicine ah, the beginning of July and I think that played a huge part too in some of my decision making.

29:58.48
Bruce Anthony
Um, okay, who.

30:11.41
Bruce Anthony
So the reduction that the anxiety medication reducing your anxiety cause you to act differently than you would normally act.

30:21.75
Jennifer 
Yeah, because I started acting out on things that normally I wouldn't do normally I meet someone in the elevator and then invite him over I didn't even know him. Um, and then you know.

30:26.60
Bruce Anthony
Who.

30:33.40
Bruce Anthony
Um, yeah I.

30:35.24
Jennifer 
Start hooking up with my new boxing coach from the first session and like just I was just doing things that just were kind of out of character for me.

30:44.10
Bruce Anthony
Could that also be the fact that you're doing real work with your mental health and sometimes there are some uncomfortable conversations. So Maybe you run to something that can be comfortable so that you don't. Have to think about those uncomfortable subjects that you're dealing with and therapy and that the anxiety medication is opening up your eyes because it's helping you get rid of your anxiety and real stuff that you have to deal with now.

31:12.10
Jennifer 
Yes, yes I could see that yeah that makes a lot of sense. Yeah.

31:18.14
Bruce Anthony
I mean they say something and it's not the same thing. It's not the same thing right? but they say when people are recovering alcoholics or drug addicts and they're getting clean and for the first time they're seeing things through sober eyes and they're seeing their life. Pain they cause not saying that this is the same thing for you as far as pain causes other people in life or anything but anxiety is is very similar to living in a fog where you don't see things clearly and when you are making that work when you're doing when you're taking that work to. Try to work through your anxiety and you're taking medication that eliminates anxiety some of that fog is removed from your site and you can see the world as you've never seen it before and I'm sure that could be confusing because I know for alcoholics and drug addicts when they come out of that. It's. And come out of that fog and they see the world. It's eye opening shocking. So you think maybe that has something to do with you acting out.

32:13.70
Jennifer 
Yeah, yeah.

32:21.44
Jennifer 
I I could see that Yes, definitely and I think that um like before I was on the anxiety medicine. Um I was much more um, self-conscious and insecure and.

32:37.26
Jennifer 
I Started the anxiety medicine I felt like I was on top of the world gave me this like high that and I think it just made me more comfortable to just talk to people and be more social and have situations. But.

32:38.45
Bruce Anthony
Ah.

32:43.21
Bruce Anthony
Um.

32:54.79
Bruce Anthony
So So I don't know what I'm reading from that is that confidence um was so powerful that it that it it caused you to not have those. The governors that the anxiety would normally put on your confidence.

33:11.50
Jennifer 
And um, yes, yes, exactly.

33:15.94
Bruce Anthony
So from all of this and my advice has been ladies and gentlemen. This was my official advice for jen and dealing with all these men I said stay away from box of coats number 1 He's toxic and your energy is always down every time you have a situation with him. I said stay away from number number 2 he's not necessarily toxic but he's emotionally unavailable and in the long run you're going to get hurt from this situation because it's 2 people who are emotionally unavailable who are attracted to each other almost like trauma bonding and I said I think you should stop working out with box of coach number 2 because there's gonna be a situation where he's gonna come back around and try and manipulate your suite your sweete um will and your kindness and manipulates you by giving you a sob store just to get another situation.

34:10.47
Jennifer 
You think so I don't know. Yeah.

34:13.81
Bruce Anthony
Ah, the the guy has 6 kids by 3 different women. He knows how to talk to women. He knows how to manipulate women. Um did you would think second baby Mama would see the first baby Mama and be like no this situation for me. And you would definitely think third baby Mama would see second and first baby Mama and realize oh this isn't the situation for me and you would think you would see one 2 3 baby mamas and being like um this guy's a little There's something going on with this guy. But his game and his mouthpiece is so smooth that he convinced y'all nah it was he convinced baby Mama number 2 it was baby Mama number one she was crazy. He convinced baby Mama number 3 number baby Mama number 1 and 2 is crazy I'm sure he's probably told you that all of his baby mamas have issues.

35:01.77
Jennifer 
Um, actually no, he hasn't he he didn't really talk about 1 and 2 and he told me that number 3 is an amazing person and that he loves her very much.

35:06.12
Bruce Anthony
Oh okay, all right I'm wrong on this one.

35:17.92
Bruce Anthony
Buddy buddy cheated on her after she just gave birth two months ago without would even without even a thought about it.

35:20.40
Jennifer 
Yeah, yeah. I Think there was a thought but he's still Active. You know.

35:29.67
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, there was a thought that he wanted to act upon the situation and that's the reason why I'm saying hey I don't really think it's a good idea anymore. But you said that you had it under control and everything is being professional I would love.

35:36.56
Jennifer 
Yeah, yeah.

35:46.70
Bruce Anthony
If there is a relapse ladies and gentlemen I am definitely going to tell you that Jen had a relapse with boxing coach number 2

35:52.21
Jennifer 
Um, if I have a relapse I'll come back on the show and what we can discuss it. Okay.

35:57.88
Bruce Anthony
We'll we'll talk about it all right? So. My official advice is you is for you to continue the work that you're doing on your anxiety and mental health and not deal with no man unless unless you can put in the proper boundaries of what that situationship is if you can't. And you start catching Feelings. You should not be catching fillins right now because you're not emotionally available because you're doing work to improve your mental health.

36:19.37
Jennifer 
Yes I agree with you I 100% agree with that.

36:25.33
Bruce Anthony
Now the question is will you listen to me and I'm going to say you will not. We shall see.

36:29.50
Jennifer 
I Will listen to you I mean I will I'm I'm really trying to listen to you I really am and I know in my heart that what you're saying is right? yeah and I know I'm emotionally unavailable I Do know that about myself.

36:40.36
Bruce Anthony
Oh yeah, okay. You are and so you shouldn't You shouldn't be interacting with people. But.

36:49.19
Jennifer 
Sometimes caught up with like looks if there's a hot guy I Just like get caught up with it and I forget that you know I got to look beyond that you know? Yes, Yes, no.

37:00.38
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, you're just sexualizing the person and you're sexualizing the person you're not actually getting to know the person you're sexualizing them.

37:09.19
Jennifer 
Sometimes I see their look and I'm just I just get like blinded makes sense. Yeah.

37:15.50
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, it does it makes sense this happened to everybody but Jen I've taken more time than I originally thought I was going to this segment was a lot longer than I originally thought it was going to be I'm going to have to cut out some of the beginning part of the show. Um. But that's okay because this was this was entertaining and good. Um, do you have anything that you want to say to the people out there about your situations.

37:40.81
Jennifer 
Yes I would like to say that um I hope this helps anybody that you know that anybody that are in similar situations like mine and that have that same type of anxious attachment and I'd like to say that. Apparently it seems like it's more common than it seems that.

38:01.40
Bruce Anthony
Yes, it is is a lot common. We all have emotional trauma that comes from our childhood we need to address it and deal with it. That's the only way that we can improve the relationships that we have in life whether it's romantic or just friendships.

38:04.71
Jennifer 
Yeah, yeah.

38:17.48
Jennifer 
Um, yeah, so.

38:20.30
Bruce Anthony
Relationships that we have in life can only be improved by addressing your mental health. But thank you for coming on the show I Really appreciate it. Um I hope people learn of course I hope people learn from this and the most important thing that I can tell people out there is.

38:25.21
Jennifer 
Thank you having me.

38:38.38
Bruce Anthony
Address the reality of the situation. Not what you think it is not your perception but the reality of the situation.

38:43.26
Jennifer 
Yes, you're absolutely right? and I will I don't want to get blinded by something that's not realistic I have to look at the body of the situation more rather than looking at what I want the situation to be.

38:52.28
Bruce Anthony
What.

38:58.62
Bruce Anthony
Right? And and I know I'm right because a love doctor is always right? That's the reason why they call me to love doctor.

00:48.89
Bruce Anthony
I want to thank Jen for coming on and talking to us about her situations I I have so many female friends in my life and this isn't particular to jen but this is particular to so many of my female friends. Who get in these situations and and guys as well, right? because I've done this in my personal life where you look at a situation and you can perceive it to be something that it isn't in reality and too many times we make concessions. Of ourselves and our beliefs and our principles in a relationship trying to placate another person if you are a woman that is opinionated likes to have her opinions discussed and respected dating a guy that. Once this woman to shut up and not talk back. That's not going to work for you right? If you're a fitness person and you like working out all the time dating a person who doesn't like working out and isn't a gym person is not gonna work out for you. You want to find people that fit your lifestyles but can better. Your lifestyles and the moment that we start to move away from the things that are the principles and backbones of who we are to accommodate other people. You've already failed and I see this too often in relationships when people are getting to know each other if y'all are in a.

02:21.00
Bruce Anthony
Have you all been talking for a month and y'all need to have a talk because some things are bothering. You. You're having issues already a month into it. Yeah, that situation is not for you. You should not be having issues the first month in any situation I'm not talking about the first month that y'all decide to be boyfriend or girlfriend I'm talking about the first month of y'all dating. If. There are sexual issues if there aremacy intimate intimacy issues if there are emotional issues if you all don't believe in the same principles of life as far as politics and religion and so often people aren't willing to have those very very tough conversations in the beginning of a situation. To determine if there's long-term compatibility and if you realize there is no long-term compatibility. There's no reason to be in the situation unless you can control your emotions and just have fun in this situation and situation ships aren't bad. Situation. Ships are cool as long as people agree this is situationship. And try to maintain the fact that emotions won't get involved. It's a hard thing to do but it is possible and that's my you know two senses love doctor and once again, if you actually listen to what I'm saying I'm right all my friends that come to me for advice and a lot of them come to me for advice I'm always right. Now I know my relationships Ai n't been shit because I make the same mistakes I tell other people not to make I've gotten older I recognize them a lot sooner. So I tend not to make those mistakes anymore. However, I've been a person that's have made those mistakes but I've learned and that's the reason why I can give this advice because.

03:55.89
Bruce Anthony
Ah, been there done that I know what the outcome is I could tell you how to navigate through that situation. But I want to thank Jen for coming on I want to thank everybody for listening and watching and until next time as always our holler.