Navigating Gender Dynamics, Societal Prejudice, and the Impact of Narcissism

00:02.67
Bruce Anthony
Welcome First of all welcome this is unsolicited perspectives I am Bruce Anthony your host ready to dive in.

00:17.15
Bruce Anthony
Welcome First of all welcome this is unsolicited perspectives and I am Bruce Anthony you're a host ready to dive into critical issues that's shaping the world join the conversation by subscribing rating reviewing liking commentating sharing with friends family. Hell even your enemies on today's episode we're going to be talking about can men and women be friends anti-semitic and islamic incidents throughout America narcissism and my annoying ass neighbor. But that's enough for the intro. Let's get to the show.

01:07.85
Bruce Anthony
I had an interesting conversation today with one of my friends friends client friend ah female client friend. Um, that asked me my opinion about something and here's what she asked me my opinion about. Ah. She's had a male friend that she used to date years ago but they've been friends for 15 years Nothing's happened in 15 years he's married ah she was even invited to the wedding but wasn't able to attend and this weekend her friend's wife reached out to her and said hey woman to woman. I don't really appreciate the conversations that you're having with my husband I would like it to stop so I asked her what type of conversations are you having with their husband like what do you guys? talk about? Do you guys talk about the same things that we talk about I was like do you talk about your dating life and stuff like that she was like yeah you know he's my friend I talked to him about stuff and I was like It's a little inappropriate. She's like what do you mean? He's my friend I could talk to him about stuff I was like yeah within certain considerations look when people are married the dynamic between opposite sex opposite gender friendships kind of have to change a little bit. You have to be cognizant of the fact that they're with somebody else and that union is supposed to be the union in which they share and talk about the majority of their secrets. Ah then I found out he was going to my friend.

02:33.36
Bruce Anthony
And also talking about the marriage and I'm yeah the wife is going to feel some type of way about that and my friend kept saying but we're just friends. We're just friends and it brought me to the question can men and women be friends now I've told everybody that listens to this podcast that my bestie is a female. We've been friends for 15 years We've known each other for 15 years We've been friends the whole time but I would really say that we got tight tight. Um over the last seven eight years um where we really been like we share just about everything with each other and it it.

03:10.71
Bruce Anthony
I have a history of having a lot of female friends I always have um and these female in these relationships with these females are not sexual. You know 95% of the time I have never had sexual relations with them. There are a few 5% of the times where where I have where we where we were intimate or we were kind of trying to date and just realize that it wasn't going to work out as far as dating was concerned but that we were really good friends and 1 to remain friends that has happened and 1 of my really good friends. Um that I have a pass with got married has kids. My dynamic with her has changed whereas I would send her memes. You know that were of a sexual nature just because my mind is a little perverted like all of my friends that follow me on social media that get my Dms my mind's a little perverted. Um. So you know I send my female friend stuff but I don't mean anything by it. It's just something that's funny. But I also know that my friend that's married to has a kid I can't send that stuff to her anymore because it's kind of disrespectful to her and her situation. Um, so to answer the question can men and women ah be friends. Absolutely of course. Like I said I have a bunch of females that are legitimately my friends that there is no sexual interaction is just platonic friendship. Um I think the reason why people have an issue with saying and this is really.

04:37.99
Bruce Anthony
It's it's more men saying this but this you know you hear some women saying this too that men and women can't be friends and I understand where that argument is coming from ah the interests typically don't align look men are really simple, really really simple. we like fart jokes we're juvenile we like sports and a lot of women out there in the world. Don't really like that stuff because women tend to be more mature than men this is like I don't even know how you can dispute that or argue that that standpoint. Are there examples where women are really in inventture. Yes because I know a lot of women who like fart jokes I send them I send my friend my female friends fart jokes on Instagram I know what they laugh at this stuff is funny sometimes um, but sometimes interests don't align like you so you hear this idea of a guy's girl right. Like that that girl that's really in sport I have a friend of mine I have two female friends of mine that are really really into sports more so than I am now like really into sports. Ah they are guys girls. They also like guys right? but but there is a there's a line between friendship and guys that they date. And then you have other guys out there who who you know I've fallen into this kind of category where you know sports don't matter to me as much as they used to do I'm not really into the barber barbers shop conversation anymore for those who out there who don't understand what the barber shot conversation is you know.

06:09.69
Bruce Anthony
Dumb debates that don't really matter like who's better Michael Jordan and Lebron James like in the grands game of life. This debate does not matter at all. It's Michael Jordan by the way but like like it does not matter and I don't like having conversations like that anymore I used to I used to have these more ironic. Conversations that go on that's fueling industries. Yeah Espn and Fox fuels this industry there are people who legitimately take this type of stuff very very seriously and it matters to them I'm just not one of those people that stuff doesn't matter to me anymore it used to it does not I have different interests some of my interests are. The things that I like to talk about on this show things issues that are shaping the world. Um, that matter on a day to day basis politics social issues things like this and I like to have those type of conversations some of my male friends is just you know sophomore jokes and don't get me wrong. I am immature just like the next person. But also I have this side of me that craves knowledge and wants to learn and so I don't really always want to have these barbershop type talks and so a lot of women aren't really into that type of stuff. So when people say men and women can't be friends what they're essentially saying is. A lot of times the interests don't align and that is absolutely true. A lot of times the interests don't align. Don't align, but there are times where the interests absolutely do align do men sometimes played a friend to slide in there to get closer to the girl. Yes, there's that I mean.

07:43.55
Bruce Anthony
The friend Zone is a realistic thing have I ever been putting a friend Zone. You know this is you will be talking about narcissism later on and ah, you know there there is a bit of an ego to even start your own Podcast. So I don't consider myself a narcissist. But I guess you know. As we'll discuss later everybody has narcissistic tendencies. Um, yeah, there are times where I feel like what I'm saying is important and these kind of kind of these kind of conversations are important and.

08:21.18
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, no like like I crave those type of situations. So This idea that the mutual interest don't align is not necessarily true sometimes men and women's Interests. Can't align. Um, so I refute that argument. Um. But back to the friend zone thing have I ever been put in the friend Zone. My ego says I've never been put in a friend zone because I can't remember last time I you know went after a female and and did not get her not in that type of when when I actually. Said I am interested in this female and that interest wasn't reciprocated so I haven't fallen to the friend Zone I don't remember it I'm sure. No, it's never happened to me but I know it happens I know it happens out there because so many of my female friends put guys in that in that category. And so yes, that is an absolute thing where those guys are bought in time to wait for the girl I don't know how often this happens because there's ah very much a thing where men are not going to be put into that category of being a um friend Zoned. Um, but it does absolutely happen. Those aren't the relationships that I'm talking about I'm talking about real honest earnest platonic relationships men and women definitely can have that I am a prime example of that me and my bestie tight tight as the pair gloves tighter than pair draws on a fat person like we tight. Um.

09:51.77
Bruce Anthony
And also whenever we're dating significant others if it becomes really serious. We meet the significant others I always make a point of meeting the men in her life that she's dating because I want them to know. Exactly where I stand I'm not that dude in the friend zone waiting for my opportunity. This is my bestie I love her to death I want her to be happy I'm not a threat but I will break your nose and your chan if you disrespect her but that's that's you know. The conversation of can men and women women be legitimate platonic friends. Yes, so long as the interests are aligned and and everybody understands that is platonic friendship. Yes, absolutely. Ah, this is a weird detour but I'm gonna do it anyway. Um. I have not broached this subject on this show and that is the war that's going on in Gaza I haven't talked about it on the main show I have given my thoughts on it on the Patreon page on after I was un sistered with my sister I have stayed clear. Ah, this topic because nuanced conversation is very very difficult to have about this subject and I'm a nuanced individual I often say I don't see things as binary I don't see things as black and white I see things I see things as shades of gray.

11:23.60
Bruce Anthony
And once again, jumping in the theme of narcissism I know not everybody can do that or wants to do that. Some people want to be in a black and white nature because people have an overwhelming need of being right? I don't care if I'm right or wrong all I care about is. If I am wrong I want to learn why I'm wrong to get better. But what has happened here in this country are people choosing sides and it's not solely just about this right? We see it in politics with the right and left conservative and liberal the democrat republican right? Ah. We've always seen it throughout the history of this country between north to south and east and west like divisions have always been a thing in this country. The problem is as far as this world this war and Gaza is that people have drawn battle lines saying that if you are pro-palestinian and you are anti-israel. If you're pro-is israel you're anti palestinian um, ah I don't think those things I think I think there is a place for a person or people to be anti hamas propalestinians anti state israel state. Pro-israeis let's take america for example, as americans can we honestly say looking at this country and look at the government and some of the things that we've done that the united states hasn't been a little effed up and its history.

12:59.24
Bruce Anthony
Of actions of americans and the actions of people abroad you can say hey sometimes the american system has failed not only americans but also people who are non-americans like you could say that and you could say that legitimately and that doesn't mean that you hate America. Just think that we need a little bit more nuance in these type of conversations specifically with the fact of antisemi anti semitic actions antisemitism and islamophobia which are both running rampant right now and it seems like. Each one is drowning out the other there are a bunch of people pouring into the actions recently of the islamophobia and ah and ignoring the anti-semitism that it's also growing and conversely there are people pointing out the anti-semitism. But not pointing out the islamophobia. It's all happening and it's happening on college campuses where you know college campuses have always been a breeding ground of thought right going back to the vietnam war a lot of the major protests were at college campuses. And there were people protesting the Vietnam war protesting our involvement in it protesting the government that didn't mean that these people weren't patriots and didn't love their country. They just acknowledged the fact that in their eyes. Their country was doing something wrong and.

14:28.55
Bruce Anthony
If you take out country. You take out religion. You take out politics. Let's make it something really simple for people to understand how you can love something but still emit their flaws loved ones we all have loved ones out there that we truly truly love but understand a little effed up in some of their actions and the things that they do. That doesn't mean to just because we call them out and they're effed up actions that we don't love them so why can't that be the same thing when you're talking about your political party or you talking about the government or you're talking about this country so you know we have an incident at St. John's university an investigation. Into a flyer placed outside the university of of muslim prayer room depicting one of the hostages held by Hamas. You have the incident at Cornell University involving the 20 or 21 year old student Patrick day accused of making threats to harm jewish students um on a greek life form. Um, you have this. Recently a Stamford University incident where an arab a muslim student was hit by a vehicle and a reported hit and run where the person hit them and then as they were driving were way werere ah yelling out obscenities racisteityemities obscenities and then you have the incident that happened in Chicago. Where the man who had was a friend of this palestinian mother and child this older white gentleman 71 years old was a friend had been a friend for years went and broke into the house stabbed. The mother stabbed the.

16:05.30
Bruce Anthony
Stabbed a young child under 5 years old 26 times and killed him. Um and it's all because people are not parsing their rhetoric and you see it often in news and I've said it oftentimes my little brief.

16:24.75
Bruce Anthony
You know, step into journalism in college where I learned the ultimate difference between reporting and commentating I do commentating do I give you guys facts about what's going on. Absolutely do I give my own personal opinion. About what I think about what's going on. Yes, that's called commentating if I just solely gave you the facts that's called reporting Nbc msnbc fox o n cnn whatever other these are political commentaries. They're not reporting news. They're giving you news and then they're giving you their opinion on it if you want news. That's just giving you straight facts in this country Abc Cbs and Nbc News not Msnbc Nbc News these are news organizations. They give you the straight raw. Real facts about what's going on watch those if you want to know what's going on when you read the newspaper recognize the difference between what is reporting and what is commentary and people giving you their own personal opinions about what's going on because that's going to sway you thinking one way or the other. No matter how enlightened of a thinking thinker that you are and it's because not only these news organizations with politicians. You know I will say this for those people that are saying right? rightfully.

17:56.13
Bruce Anthony
That there is a rise in anti-semitism which they are. It's I mean it's been the case for at least the last six seven years right um but anti-semitism has kind of always been a thing for those people that are saying that but not saying. But Don also acknowledging the rise of islamophobia which has been a thing since 119 happened really and actually before that but truly truly in this country Nine Eleven point I want you to look at who your allies are if your allies is mars retail agree the same person. Who said there was jewish space lasers the same person that said the democratic party was being funded by George Soros is she really an ally to you and conversely those people that that are. Rightfully so saying that there is a rise in islamophobia more so now than maybe in the past ten years because of what's going on in Gaza and not acknowledging also anti-semitism once again, look at who your allies are if they're saying it's 1 thing and not another. And not giving you nuanced thought about what's going on look at your ally and if your ally has typically been against you or not supported your cause what is the underlying reason that they are doing those things think about it pay attention to what's going on open your eyes be woke.

19:29.66
Bruce Anthony
Not what the right wants to consider woke is woke is being awakened to what's going on understanding what's going on and not walking around with blinders on um understand what people are telling you go out there and get your own information learn your own facts I gave a full history lesson. On just the formation of Israel could I give a full history lesson on the entire Middle East I could that would be broken down over several shows because there's so much history there that I would have an easier time explaining the history of America than I would given out all of the details in the Middle East it's just it's a very very vast long history. It's more than what's happened since October the seventh way more I told you it goes all the way back to 1948? Okay, 1948 my parents weren't even born then. I wasn't even a twinkle in my parents' eye because they weren't even born and that's how far back it goes so I say all of that I said all of that to say this pay attention to where you're getting your facts search out your own facts and if you think you got the right answer research. The opposing viewpoint. That's all I have to say and and the hate we got to do better. and we got to do better we have to do better to love one another I don't hate anybody nobody I well there is.

21:03.28
Bruce Anthony
There is one person that I do hate. It's a former client I'm not gonna get real specific. But I I do hate this person. It's the only person that ah that I've hated you know, maybe in my adult life I do hate that person and I will honestly and y'all will find out later on the episode I am not very fond of my neighbor. Ah, but hate this very strong word to say my say about my neighbor but no matter what no matter what I feel about those 2 people I don't want anything bad to happen to them and that's really the argument here is making sure that we're being kind to 1 another because at the end of the day when we take our last breath.

21:40.63
Bruce Anthony
Only thing I want people to say about him is Bruce was an upstanding, honest, good person. That's it and doesn't and doesn't everybody kind of want that.

21:57.39
Bruce Anthony
I read an interesting article in the Usa today about narcissism. Ah I'll get to that in a moment but I wanted to give a little brief background on what narcissism is because I see a lot of people. A lot of people throwing this word around describe other people and really don't understand the meaning behind it and there is as I will explain later. There is a spectrum a narcissism but this word gets thrown around a little too much so I'm gonna give you guys just a little bit of definition just a little bit of facts. Of what narcissism is and what a narcissist is so narcissism is a self-sended personality style preoccupied with oneself often at the expense of others pay attention to that last phrase. It's okay, if a person is preoccupied with oneself we become wrapped up in our own heads all the time but it's when it's at the expense of others um, associated with excessive self love vanity and key here is a lack of empathy. Npd or narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition characterized by an unreasonable high self of importance attention seeking behavior and of course once again, a lack of empathy for others symptoms of Np d.

23:18.82
Bruce Anthony
Boastfulness exaggeration of achievements Once again, a lack of empathy feeling superior etc. Um, narcissism is viewed on a spectrum with most people scoring near the Middle. So Basically everybody is a little bit Narcissistic. There's a difference between being. A little bit narcissistic and having a narcissistic disorder ah individuals who may exhibit narcissistic traits without having full bone Narcissistic Personality Disorder. So once again, like I said you I have I have to be somewhat of a narcissist to have the ego to start the show to have the ego to think that. You people want to hear my unsolicited perspectives on a variety of topics. There's a little bit of narcissism a little bit of Self-righteousness Self-righteousness self-importance um for somebody to even do something like this but that's in a lot of different things to be an actor to be a politician. To be a lawyer to be a doctor these these are all things that you kind of you got to have a little bit of narcissism to say I'm going to save somebody's life or I'm going to entertain somebody. There's a little bit of that in there. But once again, everybody has these characteristics. All us all put on the spectrum. Um the the key. For to really having a personality disorder is not the sole focus on yourself. But really the lack of empathy or importance for others. So like I said I was reading this article and the article is called the narcissism is narcissism genetic.

24:56.20
Bruce Anthony
Narcissists are made not born. How to keep your kid from becoming one by Charles tripany on the Usa today I felt that this was really really fascinating because like nobody wants I have a lot of friends now that have kids you know I've got another friend that's got a kid that's going to be born by the end of this month ah shoutout to. The the second little lily that I'm gonna know um and all parents just want to raise their kids to be well-adjusted adults. No parent wants to raise their kid to be narcissist. There's so many people who are narcissists I don't know if they really want to be narcissists. But it was your environment and the way you was raised and this is how you came out to be this way. So um, the article pointed out the development of narcissism and environments are overindulgent and external achievements and underindulgement and empathy and compassion. So ah, you know ways. Children grow up to become narcissists is overindulgence and superficial attributes. Um things like you know you're you're attractive, right? your kid you tell your kids all the time you're very good looking. You know you're so smart. Um, and and you put you put a lot of. Praise on things that that don't really matter like ah achievement in sports. Maybe even achievement achievement school achievement in school is important but the sole focus shouldn't be achieving in school. It should becoming it should be becoming a better person and part of becoming a better person.

26:25.90
Bruce Anthony
Is respecting other people. You'll understand the general theme that I have on today's show of respecting other people whether it's my friend respecting her friend's wife whether it's ah everybody respecting each other's religion and ethnicity. Whether it's respecting people's ah privacy and space. These are all things that I constantly push on the show is empathy. People could tell you their story. You may not have understanding but you can. Always have empathy for whatever that person is telling you um the article goes on to say to say strategies to prevent narcissism in children is modeling empathy. Once again, you have to teach your kids ah empathy and one of the ways that you could teach your kids empathy is by being empathetic. One of the ways in my parents. Taught us the 3 of us me my brother sister how to be empathetic and I would say a lot of people that know me say I'm extremely empathetic. Maybe a little too much um that I didn't set boundaries in my personal life but 1 of the ways my parents did it whenever there was somebody in need. Both of my parents went out of their way to help people in need where there was no benefit to them right? Whether it was taking care of special needs kids or helping families get on their feet or donations or food drives or what have you.

27:58.70
Bruce Anthony
They always always found ways to help people less fortunate find either less fortunate financially. Emotionally mentally Academically they always found ways to help whether or not my brother marily or not. We realized it at the time that was making an imprint on us and. All of us try to find ways to help other people now. we're no superheroes right like we're no superheroes I had a couple of friends tell me certain things that I could do to help the youth and it's like all right? you know I could do those things like being a big brother but I um really want to be a big brother like I rarely have time. For my little cousins and my goddaughter like ah to it to go into another person's life and be responsible as being the male role model or figure in their life is a bit much that's ah, that's a big undertaking I don't know if I'm really willing to do this I'll donate some money though I know his. Donate some money in a minute and I'll go and give speeches but like donate a lot of time like that's that's a real commitment so I don't know about that but empathy teaching your kids empathy and the way that you teach your kids empathy from what this article is saying is that you got to show empathy. So. I'll get to the next story. That's a little that's really sad but in this in the previous segment when I talked about anti-semitism and islamophobia one of the ways that you could show empathy specifically if you're in the group towards the other or you're not in either one of those groups.

29:33.38
Bruce Anthony
Is to just shut up and listen and can't have understanding but have empathy of whatever the plight is going through and that's anywhere in life somebody tells you that they're going through some shut up listen that's all you got to do. Not go understand it most of the time you not go be able to identify with it most of time but you can always respect what a person's plight and struggle is and that's empathy. Um, so model empathy teaching consideration for others' feelings which falls in line with being empathetic. Fostering authentic interests. So you know a lot of people they have these super superficial interests. 1 of my superficial interests that I've kind of tailed off on are jordans you know I I used to really really love buying jordans still got a ridiculous amount of jordans. That I have shoes. But that's not an authentic interest an authentic interest would be this. This is the authentic interest whether I'm producing the show doing the show doing post-production on the show scripting shows conducted interviews. This is a general interest. And it's bringing something to the table besides something superficial right? like I'm learning so you know oftentimes we call these things hobbies but they have real value if if if my mom likes doing arts and crafts she gets off on that. Um.

31:07.53
Bruce Anthony
And makes her feel good. That's a authentic interest. Um, so shopping is not an authentic interest. So the make sure that in your kids you're developing authentic, authentic interests I mean authentic interests can be a sport but also it has to you know, try to try to. Interject something else to your to your kids that isn't superficial because do they love the sport or do they play the sport because mommy and Daddy likes them playing a sport right? so That's what they're talking about. Is it truly an authentic interest or is it a superficial interest are you doing it because you're getting something from your parents whether it's praise attention. What have you but you don't really have any strong interest in it I learned when I got to college I did not love basketball I really liked it now. If you had asked me in high school I would have told you that I loved basketball and if you asked anybody who knew me in high school or my family members they would say that I love basketball when I got to college I realized I like the attention basketball gave to me because I was you know I had some skills the boy. The brother has some skills. I love the attention when I realized that the work was going to be increased in college and that you're going to have to give up on personal life like time to hang out with your friends time to go you know highlight at women or something like that and that it needed to be focused on.

32:41.13
Bruce Anthony
Your number 1 goal was to play basketball I was no longer interested in playing basketball anymore. It was a superficial interest. It wasn't an authentic interest. So these are the examples I'm I'm trying to think what what is the gratification that you get from the interest ah is it superficial. Or is it authentic. That's what they're talking about to model ah fostering authentic interests for your children. You got to be open to open with feelings and spending quality time. This is a major thing for me I I don't have any kids. It's really tough for me to give parenting advice. But I have been somebody else's child and I I am ah not an uncle but a pseudo uncle to like second cousin I'm a godfather I'm a uncle adopted uncle or not adopted Uncle Uncle to my to my friends children. Um. Ah, see how everybody raises their children and and I can say for me personally and every child there is no blueprint on how to raise every child because every child is different I will say and my parents tried a universal generic way with all of us that didn't really work my brother and sister. If if you told them what to do they would just do it no questions asked I was more that person. Okay, why Bruce don't put your hand on that stove I'm a little kid why because I told you so well that wasn't a sufficient enough answer for me.

34:15.60
Bruce Anthony
So I put my hand on the stove. That's just an example, but that's what my life was I wasn't talking back which is what a lot of parents of my generation would say stop talking back. Children are to be seen not hurt. It's not a good raise good way to raise a kid because. That means that they have to shut off their emotions and their feelings that means they they keep it all inside which is really not good. That means that they don't have a safe space to be open and talk and that cares you on in a adult life. Trust me I know because I've had therapy and it's one of my major issues is that I'm not open with people. Ah, and that I don't tell people what's going on. They are still There was something that happened a couple of months ago that I still close close people that know me still don't know what happened and it's just because I'm private. You know I just don't talk about that type of stuff. So you need to have you need to be open with your children not be afraid to have those tough conversations because they make you uncomfortable because you're not doing your kids you're doing your kids a disservice by not having those type of conversations and spending real genuine quality time I'll never forget. When I was around I don't know 10 years old. Um, my mom went to my dad and said you know your son is pretty interesting. Cool kid.

35:40.50
Bruce Anthony
Don't really know him you should try to spend time with him outside of just being the person that raises him not saying that my dad wasn't a good dad because he was a great dad but he just he knew my interests at that time you know I like playing a little bit sports and I like playing. I liked wrestling and playing with my wrestling men but he didn't he didn't know like what I thought if I if I had thoughts what my thoughts were what was going on in my head did I did I have ah what did I think about I don't know anything right? like they didn't really have those conversations. The kids are a lot smarter. Adults give them credit for kids observe everything and they learn kids are a lot smarter. You can have you can have a real conversation I mean real you can have a real conversation with a kid not talking about um the the dynamics of the Middle East like they're not going to understand that but you could have a realistic conversation with a kid. About you know things that most parents would think are too grown up to have and kids will understand it and be able to have fillins and opinions right? Yeah I mean it's not very informed opinions because they're only five six seven you know 1314 and in high school years. But as as these kids get older parents need to realize. These kids are way smarter than us as kids because they have access to way more information than we did as kids we were restricted to our encyclopedia That's what we were restricted to they have had Google all of their lives and.

37:13.83
Bruce Anthony
While we used to argue back and forth back and forth over subjects without really being able to get the right answers like who was the actor in ah, Beverly Hills cop to right? who was developing the beverly hills cop to we can go back and forth back and forth that. About that. But until we went to the video store to go rent the movie and watch the movie There was no clear cut answer to our our debate now these kids like will Google it and they had the answers to debates to questions right? then and there so these kids are a lot smarter. You can have really. In-depth conversations with them, especially when they get to high school and I'm getting really agitated at millennials boomers gen axers that dismiss gen z for having thoughts and opinions about social issues political issues things of this nature. Because at that age these millennials genzboomers didn't have those type of thoughts. Well it's in the face of this younger generation of gen z they have a voice. They have an opinion and it's way more informed and what our voices would have been at the same time. So yes. Spend quality time and and talk to these kids and foster the growth of knowledge. Um the knowledge of others is a main thing knowledge of the unknown and and and you could potentially raise a kid that's not narcissistic now. There is some things that I did learn from this article and that.

38:43.38
Bruce Anthony
Your personality tends to be relatively set at the age of 25 um and childhood experiences heavily influenced the development of narcissistic traits. So how we were raised in our environment determines how we're going to come out and at 25 our personality is pretty much set I will say. That the basic the basic core of my personality. The the the person that that had thoughts that did like to think did like to learn um those thoughts have evolved and changed and become more enlightened. Um, but that person is still there that sophomore humor. Clown is still there that wants to laugh and have a good time. He's still there that that person that cares for other people is still there I was that at 25 years old I'm that now at 43 the base of me has not changed what has changed is my thought process is on life and like my thinking has evolved. So that will evolve but your personality is pretty much it is the way it is and I know this because I have friends that I've known for over twenty over twenty years probably about 25 years um they're basically the same like they're they're basically the same when I joke with them and I like. Bro you were the same person that I met um back when I was sixteen years old and they're like yeah Ai nt change and I'm like yeah that's true youin't change it and I'm pretty much the same person still private still kind of a loner. Ah but still there if you need me so that's a narcissism and I thought that was really interesting.

40:19.55
Bruce Anthony
Up next I'm going to balance out this last segment by talking about something really sad that also focuses in on narcissism and talking about something that's annoying that could to potentially be funny that also focuses on narcissism.

40:40.89
Bruce Anthony
So as y'all know I stay in the news. Not not me personally but I stay in you know, reading news consuming the news watching the news. Not only for content for the show because when you do two shows a week and one of those shows by yourself by the way we're gonna be coming back to. Interviews shortly but I had this stretch of shows that I I wanted to do to get back to how this all started but when you when you're doing a show twice a week and then more shows behind ah a paywall ah unique content someone constantly reading the news and something. Really sad came across my ah timeline so mayor Ffl Bubba Copeland ah was a mayor in a town in Alabama and he committed suicide. Ah, the the name of the town. Ah. Escapes me. But why did he commit suicide. Why did this mayor and pastor commit suicide. Well a conservative website 1819 I believe it was the name of the website posted pictures of him um dressing up. And women's clothes and wear makeup and supposedly um, when not supposedly the the shame of this was too much for him to bear and he committed suicide.

42:12.76
Bruce Anthony
Why did I bring up narcissism in this because what type of a person. Do you have to be to purposely try to destroy another person's life for what more or less amounts to a political campaign. And this isn't uncommon here in the state of Virginia a state delegate um a democratic state delegates. Um, information was released by a republican operative that she had done basically sex work online. Um, to discredit her to humiliate her to embarrass her um same thing happened a couple of years ago with a congresswoman that was running in the state of Pennsylvania I believe that you know had been ah, an exotic dancer before and you know to try to do smear tactics now certain smear tactics I get. Politicians right? You want to attack somebody's record you want to bring up the fact that they've lied about something as far as being political ah that they said hey this is what I'm for and they actually voted against it and and they don't have a justifiable argument for the reason why they voted against it. You want to pull somebody his card on that cool. That's all in the politics game. But to purposely try to ruin a person's life just to win a race. This politics is life and death. But the people associated with it is not life and death. Let me explain to you what I mean by that policies that are put in place by politicians that affects people's lives.

43:49.10
Bruce Anthony
Is about life and death when you put out there that you are going to restrict abortion access no matter what the situation is for that Abortion. You are Affecting. Somebody's life. And that realistically can come life or Death. So What politicians are responsible for is life and death. However, they're not important in their. Own right? What I mean by that is what they do is important but they're not so important like you are not so important to think that you should have control over another person's life I Know you're creating policies that are going to affect a person's life. But there's a difference between having effect on somebody's life. And controlling somebody's life when you put restrictions to what people can and can't do that's Controlling. Somebody's rights, especially when you're taken away their human rights That's narcissism when you only care about you and not. At the and it's at the expense of others that's narcissism the narcissistic person or people that released this information knowing that he was a mayor and a pastor and what he did in his own life.

45:22.43
Bruce Anthony
Did not pertain to those 2 things last I checked in the bible. It doesn't say that it's a sin to wear women's clothing or makeup not a sin I didn't not that I know of and did that in the conference of his own home didn't do it out in the streets. But it's ah it's creating this narrative. That's been going around about people who are trans and ah cross-dressing and trans isn't the same thing. Dragon trans isn't necessarily thing same thing I've learned that there are heterosexual straight men who also dress in drag hell we know this because what do you consider tootsie. What do you consider? Shena what do you consider? Big mama's House. These are men dressing up in women's clothing and wearing makeup. Ah what was it Dustin Hoffman was tootsie so I already said that one but and Mrs Dow fire like these are men heterosexual straight men dressing up as women so to to say. That you know crossd dresssing or crossd dresssing I don't think it's right work but drag and trans and how and somehow that leads to to traumatizing or affecting kids or grooming kids and and I would say that the argument for grooming kids is better. For him being a pastor because there's more cases of people and the religious community molesting kids than there are actually people in drag but without knowing that that is the the motive behind the reason why this was released I absolutely.

46:55.48
Bruce Anthony
Wholeheartedily believe in my unsolicited perspective that that was the reason why this was relief. It affected a man so much that he couldn't bear to live any longer and he killed himself and I wonder I wonder do those people that release that information have. Any empathy, any sadness that they cause this man to kill himself. They probably now I'm giving my unsolicited perspective again. They probably happy or gluten because you got to know that there's some responsibility when you try to ruin the person's life. That this things can go sideways committing suicide is not a ah you know a thing that you just wake up in the morning and you just do something that has been building over time the fear of this coming out because he knew it was coming out before it came out and then actually coming out.

47:51.23
Bruce Anthony
Was just too much for him to bear. Um, that's narcissism when you really don't care about the other person and you just gonna do whatever the hell you want to do anyway. This is a weird another weird segue I've been a whole host of him today narcissism my neighbor all right? This is the same neighbor that. Wrote me those letters so she's a little off. Um she adopted a dog which is a good thing right? She adopted a dog this is a good thing. Um, ah okay so I'm telling this story and it might be a little personal. Um, and and that may be the reason why I'm feeling a certain way but but also it's also very annoying. So for y'all that are longtime listeners. Everybody knows that I had had a dog his name was crypto i. Unfortunately had to put crypto down the day after labor day he was sick. Not gonna talk about that. Let's just say has affected a brother a little bit um stand out over it. That was my main man. He's been with me 13 years My neighbor has.

49:07.76
Bruce Anthony
Adopted a dog. This wasn't the first dog that she adopted she adopted 1 dog that my other neighbor was fostering and I guess she didn't get along with the dog or the dog wasn't good enough for so she returned that dog and found another dog that she's happy with and I'm happy for her feel like if you could find that. Loyal and loving companion that loves you unconditionally because let me tell you something dogs are the only thing that will love you unconditionally pets no other pet will love you unconditionally people don't love you unconditionally, but your dog is going to love you unconditionally. So that's great that she has that. That new connection. But she does this little annoying thing where like I said she's directly my next door neighbor and she decides that instead of playing in her house with a dog with the dogs. A little squeaky mind you I had a dog he did just pass away I had a squeaky that I would throw and toss with him. And the house. He loved that squeaky I had to buy him a bunch of squeaky squeakies because he would always break them right? Love that squeakies dogs love squeakies right? But in the house. It's cool. She does it in a hallway and the building I live in was built in 11008 pretty sturdy I do not hear my neighbors and my neighbors pretty much don't hear me. Right? But you can hear out in the hallway because our front doors have you know, just a little bit of space off the ground so sound can travel in and she's playing with the dogs squeaking throw a dog throw. It. The note the squeaker back and forth you know dogs going and catching it and I find it extremely annoying.

50:40.64
Bruce Anthony
Now is there a personal thing because I just lost my dog maybe but also if I didn't have a dog if I hadn't lost crypto and crypto was still here that would be driving him. Absolutely nuts. He'd be barking. He'd be going crazy because he's just squeaky in another dog right outside this door it it gives off I don't care. About my neighbors I want to just do this and this is what I'm going to do and there's a bit of narcissism that that comes with that where you really don't care but like like how could you not think about the people that you're living with in their surroundings especially when you're quick. To bring out the fact that you're annoyed about something that you're annoyed about something that your neighbors do she doesn't hesitate to write a little post on the community web board about other neighbors and what they're doing and how much she's annoyed. No matter how small it is and nobody else notices. She's quick to point out how she's annoyed by other neighbors but can't can't see how she's annoying the hell out of us by playing with a dog in a hallway with this squeakie I do not like this person I do not like this person I can't stress this enough hate I don't hate this person but I do not like this person. Person is extremely annoying, not solely because of the letters which was annoying in and of itself who makes me feel extremely uncomfortable because like I said directly neighbor the direct neighbor but now doing this in the hallway with the dog and has been an everyday occurrence. She says it all the time. Um I might report to the authorities.

52:12.37
Bruce Anthony
No I'm not I'm not no snitch I'm not gonna report to authorities but we are gonna have to have a conversation because I can't I can't deal with that I can't I'm just in my living room trying to enjoy whatever I'm trying to enjoy you know whether it's lowki or power or that show invincible. You know or just sitting in there just being in my own thoughts or you know preparing for preparing for this show I shouldn't have to deal with that respect your neighbors respect us in our personal space narcissism That's what it's all about ladies and gentlemen. People are narcissists I give a damn about this house. But on that note and this ah long long show about people only giving a damn about themselves once again I want to remind you people out there to listen to me to subscribe to our Youtube page we are growing and numbers I'm really happy about that. We need more I want more more power that was weird now but I just would like to reach as many people as I possibly can. So if you're watching on Youtube share it to your friends. Maybe they like it. Maybe they may maybe they won't like it but still share. It. Don't forget to like and comment. Ah, comments on our Instagram or on our Youtube whatever now not all comments get through because there's a lot of hate out there. But you know something insightful. You want to have a conversation please comment um like and subscribe and share and all that good stuff.

53:40.10
Bruce Anthony
Want to thank all of you guys out there for supporting us me and my sister everybody behind the scenes. Um, which is basically me and my sister but just thank you Thank you? Um, for being there with this supporting that one Hundredth episode is coming up. We're going to do something I don't know what we're going to do yet. We're Goingnna do something if y'all got some suggestions out there for what we should do for the one Hundredth episode let us know shoot us um, shoot us a message at unsolicitedperspectives.com and let us know what you would like us to do for our one hundred Hundredth episode um but yeah once again I can't stress it enough. Thank you Thank you for listening? Thank you for watching. And until next time as always I'll holler.