[00:00:00] Welcome to Unsolicited Perspectives 🎙️🔥💥

[00:00:00] Bruce Anthony: Are you cool with them taking the phones away from your babies? What about if somebody's not listening to you about what you feed your baby? And what is the common courtesy when Xes break up? We gonna get into it. Let's get it.    

[00:00:24] Bruce Anthony: Welcome, first of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony. Here to lead [00:00:30] the conversation in important events and topics that are shaping today's society. Join the conversation to follow us wherever you get your audio podcast. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcast and YouTube exclusive content rate review.

[00:00:43] Bruce Anthony: Like, comment, share, share with your friends, share with your family. Hell even share with your enemies. On today's episode. Is the Sibling happy y'all? I'm here with my sis Jay, Andrea. We're gonna be dding a little bit. Then we're gonna be talking about them taking cell phones away from kids during [00:01:00] school.

[00:01:00] Bruce Anthony: And then we're gonna be talking about, am I overreacting? A few scenarios, you know, that's my favorite thing, but that's enough of the intro. Let's get to the show. 

[00:01:15] Sibling Happy Hour: Spicy Takes & Drinks 🍹🌶️

[00:01:15] Bruce Anthony: What up sis?

[00:01:16] J. Aundrea: What up brother?

[00:01:17] Bruce Anthony: I can't call it, I can't call it something interesting happened yesterday. Michael Rosenbaum Rosenbaum, I think that's his name. He played Lex Luther on the TV series, small Field. He's got a podcast. Do not know the [00:01:30] name of it. Probably should have looked that up before I started talking about this.

[00:01:33] Bruce Anthony: But, uh, you know, we, we'll deal with it when we deal with it. He had Grant Gusteson, I believe that's how you enunciate his

[00:01:40] J. Aundrea: It's called Inside of You podcast.

[00:01:43] Bruce Anthony: Okay. Inside of you podcast. Uh, grant Gusteson. I think that's how you pronounce his name. The, the guy that played Flash on the TV series was on, on the show yesterday, on the show that I watched yesterday.

[00:01:53] Breaking the Mold: Why Men’s Mental Health Matters More Than Ever" 🧠💪🔥

[00:01:53] Bruce Anthony: And he was talking about just dealing with pressure and [00:02:00] just as he's gotten older dealing with, uh, his mental health.

[00:02:04] J. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

[00:02:05] Bruce Anthony: And becoming more emotionally intelligent, being able to gauge, uh, the emotions that are going on inside of him.

[00:02:12] Bruce Anthony: And it, it, it's kind of piggybacking, I forgot to bring it up, but one of my boys last week said something, and these are two Neanderthals.

[00:02:21] Bruce Anthony: I'm, I'm just joking. They're my boys. I know I love 'em, but they are very old school men. And one of 'em was [00:02:30] talking about childhood trauma, just yelled out, childhood trauma. And I looked at 'em and I was like, you know what that is? And, and I, and I'm loving the fact that, and I know we've talked about this before, but I'm loving the fact that men are absolutely addressing their mental health

[00:02:51] J. Aundrea: yeah, yeah,

[00:02:53] Bruce Anthony: Uh, I, I, I just, I feel like it's so important for us to just grow and expand and be better people.

[00:02:59] J. Aundrea: yeah. [00:03:00] No, I 100% agree. So, yeah. Uh, expanding being better people. Yeah, I agree. I, I, I don't disagree with anything that you're saying. But I think it's, I think it's great. I think that the more, men go on that journey and heal, the more they'll realize how, detrimental to their wellbeing and their mental health, like things like patriarchy are, [00:03:30] and these perceptions of how men should be and how what is and what isn't masculine, and like, kind of recognize that those, the definitions of those things change constantly and almost for it feels like for no reason.

[00:03:47] J. Aundrea: It's just like whoever's in power defines what, what these societal conventions mean. And, you can't let something that flexible [00:04:00] define who you are as a person.

[00:04:03] Makeup, Masculinity, and Parenting Fails: Redefining Gender Norms" 💄👦🤯

[00:04:03] Bruce Anthony: Yeah, speaking of kind of detouring, 'cause we talk about this so much, but I feel like it's important in that we should but kind of detouring. I I, you probably haven't seen it yet 'cause I sent it to you this morning and I know you get my memes and reels when you get 'em. It's, in other words, when you open 'em, when you get 'em.

[00:04:18] Bruce Anthony: But I, I was on another friend's page and I was at their wedding. They actually had their wedding the day before the world shut down and they have a son now. It's my old roommate. You [00:04:30] know exactly who he is and, uh, his wife and his, on his wife's page, there was this little re and the reel was. A woman doing her makeup,

[00:04:40] Bruce Anthony: right?

[00:04:41] Bruce Anthony: And the question says, you know, what would you do if your son asked, can he do his makeup next? And the woman in the video immediately goes, Uhuh, right? Like, that's a common, like, no, that's not what boys do.

[00:04:57] J. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

[00:04:57] Bruce Anthony: Up next was a woman responding [00:05:00] to that, and I, and she's a teacher, and she was like, okay, I'm not about to attack you, but let me just give you a couple of different perspectives on that.

[00:05:08] Bruce Anthony: And, and she runs down a couple of different things. Like one, immediately you, uh, when you say no, you equate it to bad. And so then it minimizes what women do, like putting on makeup and getting ready. It minimizes that they children learn that like it's not very important, right? Because it's it when you say No, you can't do that.

[00:05:29] Bruce Anthony: You're [00:05:30] teaching them that it's wrong for them to do. So they equate it as it's wrong, right? And it also was like you just shut down. That little boy ever coming to you feeling comfortable. You know, just like by saying yes, you reaffirm his independence and his confidence and there's nothing like a man with confidence.

[00:05:51] Bruce Anthony: And then you're letting them know that this instance will let that child know in the future if there's ever [00:06:00] something that you want to talk about, that you're always open to him and won't shut him down. So it creates an open dialogue. And I never thought about these things because I think my initial reaction, even though I'm trying to evolve, I think my initial reaction if I had a son would be like, no little boys don't put on makeup and I need to move past it.

[00:06:23] Bruce Anthony: And, and a lot of times, you know. It's just experimental. It doesn't [00:06:30] necessarily mean that your son is going to be a part of the LGBTQ plus community, but even if your son is or isn't, your son will learn that this is okay. Which makes them more open to be accepting of other people. And I was just like, yo, this is really deep.

[00:06:51] Bruce Anthony: And it, and it's something that would've gone over my head. But you know, parenting is hard. And it's the little things. It's the little things that you [00:07:00] guys do as parents that that can affect a child for the rest of their life. And I was talking to a friend of mine and she's like, I'm so scared of messing up my children.

[00:07:10] Bruce Anthony: I tried to do right. And I was like, you can't really live like that. You're the fact that you're open-minded,

[00:07:16] J. Aundrea: yeah,

[00:07:17] Bruce Anthony: that you can only do the best you can. That's it,

[00:07:20] J. Aundrea: You can, you can just say, Hey, sometimes I'm wrong, you know, I'm your parent, but I'm not always right and it's okay to correct [00:07:30] me if I, if I hurt your feelings or I make you feel some type of way, it's okay to tell me that. I mean, because listen, I know that the fear is that their child, I don't mean for this to rhyme, will be queer, but like. What if they just become, uh, a world renowned makeup artist or painter, or like, you know what I'm saying? What if it is hairstylist? What if he [00:08:00] just admires female beauty? Like what? Like, it, it could also be that like you're shutting down a potentially really creative side to your child for fear of what they gonna do when they groan and, and don't, ain't none of your business anyway. Like, you know what I'm saying?

[00:08:22] Bruce Anthony: And that's also, I, it just popped up to, in my head, it's also a different aspect of maybe the child likes [00:08:30] the makeup for the colors. Maybe they become an artist, maybe they become a painter. And, and when you shut down stuff, let kids be free spirited.

[00:08:41] Bruce Anthony: Be, and let them figure out what they, I'll never forget one of my boys, he played football in high school and in college, and my other boy was like, so you gonna get 'em into football?

[00:08:53] Bruce Anthony: He was like, man, you can't, kids are going to choose what they want to choose, right? And I'm gonna support whatever they choose. I [00:09:00] just because I play football doesn't mean that they gotta play football, do do whatever they like. And one of his sons is a hell of a soccer player, like hell of a soccer

[00:09:11] J. Aundrea: Still plays football. Just a different kind.

[00:09:13] Bruce Anthony: He, yeah, he plays, uh, you know, football.

[00:09:16] J. Aundrea: he fz, he plays football. Yes.

[00:09:18] Bruce Anthony: Right. So no. I mean, parenting, Hey, parenting is hard. Parenting is hard.

[00:09:25] J. Aundrea: Yeah. You just gotta be, first of all, none of us will [00:09:30] ever get it a hundred percent right. That's just not possible because we're humans and we're imperfect. And we're fallible. Just be open to being like, Hey, you know, sometimes mommy, sometimes daddy, you know, makes mistakes and that's okay.

[00:09:43] J. Aundrea: And, if I hurt your feelings by saying no, please tell me and please tell me why. So that I can, you know, correct my behavior in the future. Like instead, like, the question should have been when her son, [00:10:00] if her son ever came to her and said, can I do my makeup next? The question should have been, well, sure.

[00:10:05] J. Aundrea: Can you tell me why you'd like to, what do you, what do you like about it? You know, that you wanna try it on yourself? I don't know. I just see you doing it, or, I don't know. I like the colors or, you know, I, I don't know. I like to draw, you know, things like that. Like it, it would've been a good idea to figure out why,

[00:10:23] Bruce Anthony: Right,

[00:10:23] J. Aundrea: uh, because the answer might not necessarily have been, well, I feel like a girl inside.

[00:10:29] J. Aundrea: That might not [00:10:30] have, that's the, that's the answer that you're fearing for whatever reason. But, that's not, it could have been any number of kids or kids, they don't think about things as deeply. They don't have that knowledge base to think about things, overthink things the way that adults do.

[00:10:49] Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.

[00:10:50] J. Aundrea: Kids are very, very simple.

[00:10:53] Bruce Anthony: And the woman said that made the response, could, she said was one of the finer points. She said it's three points, and then said, oh, [00:11:00] extra credit. Here's the fourth point. It could just be your child just. Connecting with you. Just wanting to be around you.

[00:11:07] Bruce Anthony: And that's, and and that's a lot of things. Kids do a lot of things just because they want to be around their parents.

[00:11:13] Bruce Anthony: I used to even, even when me and my father weren't at on good terms as a teenager,

[00:11:23] J. Aundrea: Mm-hmm. Which is normal

[00:11:25] Bruce Anthony: Which is

[00:11:26] J. Aundrea: because teenage years.

[00:11:27] Bruce Anthony: he would be watching the game. And of course I like [00:11:30] watching the game too. But I would go watch the game around him. Why? 'cause I just wanted to be around him. He was gonna do something funny. I'll never forget the time when the Bulls lost in the playoffs and he got mad at Luke Longley and swung at the tv and I was heartbroken 'cause the bulls lost.

[00:11:46] Bruce Anthony: But the fact that he got up, he yelled, he cursed. Luke Long's name jumped up off the couch and swung at the tv. I hank Luke Longley. I was like, you know what, I'm okay now because that was [00:12:00] hilarious.

[00:12:00] J. Aundrea: Felt bad. The bulls lost, but that was nice. Thank you.

[00:12:05] Shower Struggles: The Battle Against Post-Shower Sweats" 🚿💦😅

[00:12:05] Bruce Anthony: Quick detour, another detour. I have realized in my older age

[00:12:11] J. Aundrea: Okay.

[00:12:12] Bruce Anthony: that getting ready to do something, like getting ready to like go out, like taking a shower and you know, moisturizing and shaving and all that stuff,

[00:12:21] J. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

[00:12:22] Bruce Anthony: it takes me an hour and a half. And the reason why it takes me an hour and a half 'cause of them damn shower sweats,

[00:12:29] J. Aundrea: Yeah,[00:12:30]

[00:12:30] Bruce Anthony: them shower sweats.

[00:12:31] Bruce Anthony: I'm like, what's the point of me putting on any type of anti-aging serum or moisturizer or aftershave where it slides just right off? It takes me a good 30 minutes when I get outta the shot. 'cause I got a bald head. So when I'm shaving, you know, it's something about when I put the aftershave or the head bomb on my head.

[00:12:52] Bruce Anthony: It just, my face just starts sweating and I know it's probably 'cause I closed off the pores to my head. And so the sweat gotta come out. The heat [00:13:00] in my body has a release somewhere and it just comes out on my face. Would love it if it came out any other place. Maybe my feet, I wouldn't mind my, uh, my feet sweated, but why my face?

[00:13:09] Bruce Anthony: So I have to sit in front of that big power fan that you bought me last year for Christmas and just sit there and just dry off

[00:13:17] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[00:13:17] Bruce Anthony: after the shower.

[00:13:18] J. Aundrea: Yeah. So, uh, this is something I actually looked up because I wanted to, because I, I can't stand the shower sweat. So I have been doing [00:13:30] this and I just took shower right before taping. You notice I'm not sweating.

[00:13:35] Bruce Anthony: Yeah. Yeah. That

[00:13:36] J. Aundrea: Okay. So the reason why you sweat after a shower is three reasons. The heat exposure.

[00:13:42] J. Aundrea: Hot showers raise your body temperature, so your body naturally sweats to cool down the humidity. The warm, humid bathroom air contributes to sweating and then overcompensation. When you exit a hot shower and enter a cool environment, your body may overcompensate by sweating to regulate the temperature.

[00:13:59] J. Aundrea: [00:14:00] So some tips to reduce that. Lower the water temperature. I if you're in there in a scolding hot shower.

[00:14:09] Bruce Anthony: No, I'm not a female. Females do scalding hot showers. Males don't do scalding hot showers.

[00:14:14] J. Aundrea: bring it down. And or end with a cool rinse.

[00:14:18] Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.

[00:14:19] J. Aundrea: I do a cool rinse after, 'cause I, I do like my water hot, so I end with a cool rinse, uh, ventilating the bathroom. Sometimes that exhaust fan is not enough. [00:14:30] Sometimes you do have to just shower with the door open.

[00:14:32] Bruce Anthony: One of the doors is always open, the other one is not. Maybe I should open up the the second door, but just what if somebody break in? I need that time where they jiggling the door for me to at least gather myself. I don't wanna have to fight. No intruder butt naked.

[00:14:47] J. Aundrea: sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

[00:14:49] Bruce Anthony: But butt naked. Look,

[00:14:51] J. Aundrea: Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta

[00:14:55] Bruce Anthony: very vulnerable. Butt naked. Okay, let me just say

[00:14:58] J. Aundrea: You just gotta pretend you got [00:15:00] some shorts on and get to scrapping.

[00:15:01] Bruce Anthony: no, I'm

[00:15:02] Bruce Anthony: gonna do like this. I'm gonna tell the, I'm gonna tell the person that's breaking the internet. Hey look, we gonna fight. Lemme just put some draws on first. Lemme put some draws on first and actually a white beater 'cause I don't like my chest out. So let me put on some draws and a wife beater. I feel fat right now. Let me do that and then we can scrap up and whoever win win. But don't, don't fight me in this vulnerable state right now, but okay. Open up the doors for more ventilation.

[00:15:29] J. Aundrea: [00:15:30] Yes. Your drying technique hat your skin dry don't rub because the increased, it causes increased friction and heat. So a lot of people rub themselves dry. Just packed.

[00:15:41] Bruce Anthony: Patent Don't work for me 'cause I be real slippery. So slippery. I almost slip when I get out the shower.

[00:15:50] J. Aundrea: why are you rinsing the soap off?

[00:15:52] Bruce Anthony: yeah, no, no. I'm good to the soap. I, yes, Rin the soap off. Good. I know how to bathe myself.

[00:15:58] J. Aundrea: Okay. Well then, I dunno what [00:16:00] that,

[00:16:01] Bruce Anthony: Well, pet dry just don't seem like it work, but okay. I'll try it. I'll try it tonight.

[00:16:04] Bruce Anthony: When I take my nighttime shower,

[00:16:06] J. Aundrea: And then you already do this, but stay hydrated. Drinking plenty of water can help regulate your body temperature. But basically I, I end with a cool rinse. I make sure my bathroom's ventilated and I pat dry, and then I, I don't have

[00:16:21] Bruce Anthony: when they say taking cool showers are actually better for you, the problem is, is I shave my head in the shower and in order to [00:16:30] shave you need hot water.

[00:16:33] J. Aundrea: Yeah,

[00:16:33] Bruce Anthony: So, but I could, but I could after I shaved, just do the cool shower. Yeah. And I tried that cool shower. It kind of hurt.

[00:16:45] J. Aundrea: Explain.

[00:16:48] Bruce Anthony: You know, I have parts that are different from female and then you really don't like that to be cold?

[00:16:54] J. Aundrea: all right, well, listen. Do you wanna sweat?

[00:16:57] J. Aundrea: Or do you wanna get, get this under [00:17:00] control? This is the way to get it under control. I had to look it up 'cause I was like, I can't deal with this anymore.

[00:17:06] Bruce Anthony: I especially during the summertime. The summertime it is. It is a wrap.

[00:17:10] J. Aundrea: It's, it's unbearable. And so you just gotta sit when you get out the shower.

[00:17:14] J. Aundrea: You gotta sit in front of a fan and it's too much. It takes so much time just to cool your body down. No end with that. The, the best advice I give end with that cool rinse. If anybody else gets shower sweats, end with a cool rinse

[00:17:27] J. Aundrea: and that will bring your body temperature down.

[00:17:29] Bruce Anthony: our [00:17:30] family, woo. It is genetic. 'cause every single last one of us get them shower sweats.

[00:17:35] J. Aundrea: Mm-hmm. But I also think we take hot showers.

[00:17:39] Bruce Anthony: probably.

[00:17:40] J. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

[00:17:41] Bruce Anthony: Yeah. Uh, but my, I, well my bathroom isn't really large. It's good for me 'cause I need a large bathroom 'cause I'm a large man, but I tend to get water everywhere in my shower just 'cause I'm tall

[00:17:54] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[00:17:55] Bruce Anthony: and it's actually not easy maneuvering in my shower.

[00:17:58] Bruce Anthony: You know what I want? I [00:18:00] want one of them big walk-in showers where it's like 10 feet tall and I got sprays everywhere. I want 'em on top of me, on both sides of me and just like a car wash. You know how you go. And that's what I

[00:18:13] J. Aundrea: And I wanna blast the phone call, if that makes sense.

[00:18:21] Bruce Anthony: I wanna walk in and funk talking about, Hey man, what is this? You know, you love me? And then the water just come on and the funk be like, [00:18:30] no.

[00:18:32] J. Aundrea: And that bad boy is blasted right off. That's what I want. That's what I want.

[00:18:36] Bruce Anthony: I that, I wonder why that is.

[00:18:38] Smell the Vibes: Crafting Your Signature Scent 👃✨

[00:18:38] Bruce Anthony: Culturally, we as black people and I, I'm not saying anybody else isn't like that. I'm only speaking for black people 'cause I'm black. No, I'm only, I'm not saying that other people aren't like, don't want to not be funky, but I'm just saying I'm

[00:18:53] Bruce Anthony: black and in the black,

[00:18:54] J. Aundrea: like it.

[00:18:55] J. Aundrea: Listen, listen. I'm not saying y'all wanna be funky, [00:19:00] but your regimens for, for cleaning yourself ain't the most thorough. So if you don't wanna be funky, you're not acting like it.

[00:19:14] Bruce Anthony: Well, I, I don't know what it is about us. And we, we are like, we want to smell good. I, somebody walked past me the other day and it was a cologne. I'm pretty sure that it was a body butter. 'cause I'm really in the body butters right now. I just need to find the right scent that lasts [00:19:30] and they walked past me.

[00:19:31] Bruce Anthony: It wasn't overpowering, but you could smell it. And I wanted to run up to 'em and be like, Hey, man, how you do that? Because, because I feel like I put on body butters and colognes, and people only say that I smell good if they're close to me. Like every time I get around my bestie, she gives me a hug. She's like, oh, you smell good.

[00:19:51] Bruce Anthony: I'm like, yeah, but I want you to actually smell me, not overpower me, not overpowering, but smell me when I enter the room and when I past you.[00:20:00]

[00:20:00] J. Aundrea: I feel like that's too heavy handed,

[00:20:02] Bruce Anthony: No, but it can. You can do it to the point it's been done before. It's been done. You can do it to the point where you smell good and it's not overpowering, but you got, man, that's a good scent you got right there.

[00:20:13] J. Aundrea: Yeah. I don't know.

[00:20:15] Bruce Anthony: Ah, I don't know. Anyway, I like smelling good. 'cause one time in the sixth grade, this girl told me I smelled like butt. And that was all that it needed

[00:20:23] Bruce Anthony: to.

[00:20:24] J. Aundrea: is horrible. Yeah. That's triggering. Okay.

[00:20:27] Bruce Anthony: Yeah, that that's what started it for me. [00:20:30] She is like, he smelled like butt and I said what I smelled like butt and all. What she basically meant was I smelled like sweat

[00:20:39] J. Aundrea: No. She said, you smell like ass.

[00:20:42] Bruce Anthony: sweaty ass ass.

[00:20:43] J. Aundrea: She didn't say she didn't. No, she she said, but she didn't say you smell like now when somebody says you smell like outside, that's okay. You smell like sweat.

[00:20:55] J. Aundrea: but but what, so I say smell like, but [00:21:00] you smell like you didn't wipe good.

[00:21:02] Bruce Anthony: But I look at sixth grade, I was 11 years old. All I know is I changed my life and I don't remember that girl's name, but I made sure that I never smelled like butt ever again.

[00:21:12] J. Aundrea: Well, have you gone to like Bath and Body Works? They have a really good men's shop where they have different body queen creams and

[00:21:21] Bruce Anthony: Actually, no, because I just figured that Bath and Body Works is for the kids.

[00:21:25] J. Aundrea: Uh,

[00:21:26] J. Aundrea: no.

[00:21:26] Bruce Anthony: a grown man,

[00:21:27] J. Aundrea: No. They have a men's [00:21:30] section.

[00:21:31] Bruce Anthony: okay. Bath and Body Works. I just, I just, that's just what I equate to like high school.

[00:21:36] J. Aundrea: Well, yeah, the body miss and everything, that's a very high school thing, but no, they, they actually have like men's, like body care and all of that stuff

[00:21:48] Bruce Anthony: Okay, because I have used their night cream. They got this lavender type thing, night cream that I used to go, I, it was lavender and, and I don't know what it was, but I love lavender [00:22:00] and vanilla and sandalwood.

[00:22:02] J. Aundrea: Sandalwood is my top 10. Like it's my top, it's my number 1 cent is

[00:22:07] Bruce Anthony: Yeah. Look, lemme tell you something, men out there, you wanna drive to women wild or you wanna drive to men wild. You wanna drive people. Wild

[00:22:15] J. Aundrea: You wanna drive folks. Wow.

[00:22:18] J. Aundrea: Get you

[00:22:18] Bruce Anthony: sandalwood.

[00:22:19] Bruce Anthony: especially if you got shaving cream and aftershave, the sh the sandalwood with some lotion on. Be sandal wooded up.

[00:22:26] Bruce Anthony: Sandalwood. Lavender too. Lavender. Smell

[00:22:29] J. Aundrea: [00:22:30] L Lemme tell you also, if you looking for incense for your home sandalwood. Oh, just have your whole house smelling like sandalwood.

[00:22:39] Bruce Anthony: Had a whole house smelling like sand wood.

[00:22:41] J. Aundrea: Mm-hmm.

[00:22:42] Bruce Anthony: All right, Jay, that's enough of this. Dilly daddling.

[00:22:45] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[00:22:46] Bruce Anthony: Let's get into cell phones. 'cause you don't be checking your cell phones too much anymore nowadays because you be in school. But And now, but now they are talking about taking the cell phones away from the kids in school and I thought this was interesting.

[00:22:59] Bruce Anthony: We're gonna [00:23:00] get into that next.  

[00:23:08] Bruce Anthony: All right, Jay. There's been a movement to building cell phones in schools and has gained a lot of traction globally and across the United States with bipartisan support from policy makers in both conservative and liberal states. Concerns about excessive screen time, its impact on mental health and the distraction.

[00:23:24] Cell Phones in Class: Pros & Cons Unplugged 📵📚

[00:23:24] Bruce Anthony: Phones pose during academic instruction are driving these efforts. Governors from state [00:23:30] like Florida, Arkansas, California, and New York have either implemented or proposed bans on student cell phone use during school hours. The policies vary widely ranging from total bans to restrictions during instructional periods, or specific rules for social media access on school networks.

[00:23:46] Bruce Anthony: So here's some of the reasons why cell phone bans can work. Improved focus and academic performance, reduction in bullying and cyber bullying, enhanced social interaction, mental health benefits. [00:24:00] And equity among students. Challenges or reasons why cell phone bans might not work. Uh, enforcement issues, loss of learning tools, parental concerns, student resistance, and potential for negative impacts on cell phone direction.

[00:24:17] Bruce Anthony: Now I'm going to get more into the, the plurals and cons, breaking them down later in this segment. But I just want to kind of get your idea about some of the stuff that they're talking about with cell phones. Like we [00:24:30] didn't have cell phones at school.

[00:24:31] J. Aundrea: Right. I had, I, I got my cell phone, uh, I think my senior year. It was like that Nokia brick.

[00:24:39] Bruce Anthony: Hey, hey, look, I would love to go back to that Nokia break. You could put that little clip on your hip. Remember you could spin a little clip.

[00:24:45] J. Aundrea: yep. It was that little Nokia brick. And I got it my senior year. That was my first cell phone. I agree. I don't believe in a total band, but definitely a restriction. Listen, if you work in corporate, [00:25:00] you think you can have your phone out on your desk.

[00:25:02] J. Aundrea: No. So if a, no, you cannot have that phone out.

[00:25:06] J. Aundrea: A lot of, a lot of businesses, a lot of corporate corporations, uh, restrict cell phone use. You gotta get, if you need to make a call, you can have your phone. Obviously you're an adult, you can have your phone. But if you need to make a call, you gotta get up from your desk, go out into the hall.

[00:25:21] J. Aundrea: Like you can't be on your cell phone, at your desk at work. No.

[00:25:26] Bruce Anthony: Well, I would kind of want that anyway 'cause it's something about these people [00:25:30] talking on speaker phone out in public. I want to go up and smack each and every one of 'em. And also if we in our office, yeah, take your personal phone call outside. I don't want, well, I actually do wanna know about any type of mess or drama you got going

[00:25:43] J. Aundrea: Yes, yes. You, I know you do, but it's also like adults, surf, surf, social media.

[00:25:49] J. Aundrea: We do that too. Uh, they mostly, they, like, I'm not an adult, mostly be on, mostly be on like Facebook, you know? But that we on it. Them [00:26:00] boomers, they on the Facebook, but they're on it. And so if, if we can't, as adults, as grown people at a job, not have our cell phones out on our desk, watch the kids.

[00:26:11] J. Aundrea: No. It is a, it is a hundred percent a distraction for kids to have this phone on them in class. I don't believe in a total ban. I think kids do need their phone. They gotta coordinate pickups and drop offs. If they have extracurricular activities. If something happens in school, they need to be able to reach their parent.

[00:26:28] J. Aundrea: They can do that. [00:26:30] So I don't believe in a total ban. I think that cell phones are incredibly useful. But during class time, you better put that phone away. Come on now. Not in my class. Put

[00:26:45] Bruce Anthony: right, so some of the benefits of this school ban, I'm gonna go through 'em a little bit. Uh, the cell phone restrictions. All right. Improved focus and academic performance. So studies show that banning cell phones can lead to a better focus in class and higher test scores. For example, [00:27:00] research from the London School of Economics found that 6.41%, no, excuse me, found 41% improvement in test scores in schools with phone bans, particularly benefiting low achieving students without distractions from social media or text.

[00:27:16] Bruce Anthony: And students are more likely to engage with lessons and retain information that pretty much seems cut and dry and self-explanatory.

[00:27:25] Bruce Anthony: Yes,

[00:27:25] Bruce Anthony: your cell phone is an absolute distraction. I'm sometimes sitting [00:27:30] up here working at my desk, and I'll just grab my, for no reason, just I'm working. No reason just. Grab my cell phone, just start going through Instagram.

[00:27:39] Bruce Anthony: I'm like, what? Why am I doing this right? I'm right in the middle of something. I'm right in the middle of something. Now I'm on Instagram and completely forgot what I was doing. Now I gotta try and refocus and I'm a grown adult who can refocus children, gonna have a law, a hard time dealing with that.

[00:27:56] J. Aundrea: Yes.

[00:27:57] Bruce Anthony: Uh, another one.

[00:27:58] Bruce Anthony: Reduction in [00:28:00] bullying and cyber bullying. By eliminating phone access, schools can reduce cyber bullying and incidents that often occur during school hours. This creates a safer environment for students and mitigate mitigates the mental health impacts of online harassment. I tell you what I do see a lot of is these school fights

[00:28:18] J. Aundrea: Yes. And they're being, they're coordinated

[00:28:21] Bruce Anthony: Yes,

[00:28:22] J. Aundrea: via text and social media.

[00:28:24] Bruce Anthony: yes. And then you put it all up on, in. Look, lemme tell you something. When wan whooped my ass in [00:28:30] seventh grade and I told that story.

[00:28:32] J. Aundrea: Yes.

[00:28:34] Bruce Anthony: I'm glad nobody had the recording of that.

[00:28:37] J. Aundrea: Yes. Yeah. I, I honestly could not imagine being a teenager with the access that they have to technology now. Like a lot of the stuff e everything we did as teenagers, there's no, it's just in your memory, there's

[00:28:54] Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm. Unless you had pictures. Unless somebody had a camera with 'em.

[00:28:58] J. Aundrea: unless somebody had a [00:29:00] camera. But then you gotta find those pictures. Did you ever get 'em developed?

[00:29:03] J. Aundrea: 'cause back then you had to get 'em developed, like, you know, like where are the, who knows? You know, we didn't have the paper trail of text messages and social media. No. You passed a note when you got the note, you read it, crumbled it up.

[00:29:19] Bruce Anthony: And

[00:29:19] Bruce Anthony: hope. And you hope the teacher didn't see you passing notes?

[00:29:23] Bruce Anthony: 'cause then she might, he or she might read in front of the whole class.

[00:29:27] J. Aundrea: and it could be the most embarrassing thing you've ever written.[00:29:30]

[00:29:30] Bruce Anthony: Well, I'm gonna tell you a story and I've never brought this up and actually I just remembered this story just now

[00:29:36] Bruce Anthony: bringing up teacher reading notes in the class.

[00:29:39] J. Aundrea: Oh, no.

[00:29:41] Bruce Anthony: I'm a senior

[00:29:42] Bruce Anthony: and I pass a note to a little tender Rooney in the class. Me being who I am, I wrote a rhyme. I don't remember what the rhyme was, but it was like something with a booty like your booty's so nice.

[00:29:58] Bruce Anthony: I want to smack it twice. It is [00:30:00] something stupid, right?

[00:30:01] J. Aundrea: yeah

[00:30:02] Bruce Anthony: But me being me, something very much me, I.

[00:30:05] J. Aundrea: yeah.

[00:30:07] Bruce Anthony: And I was handed it to her and she read it and she started laughing and the teacher was like, what? You know, we were learning something that wasn't, that was serious,

[00:30:15] Bruce Anthony: wasn't, That was not funny.

[00:30:17] Bruce Anthony: And then the teacher grabbed a note and said, oh, okay, Bruce wants to pass notes, so I'll just read in front of the whole class.

[00:30:23] Bruce Anthony: And I was like, no, please don't do that. And, and she did. I'm not going, I'm not gonna throw her out there under the bus, but she was [00:30:30] my English teacher senior year. You know exactly who you are. You're also the one that forced me to do Othello. And I ain't really mad about that. I'm, I was happy that you made me do that even though I was pissed at the time.

[00:30:39] Bruce Anthony: Anyway, she read the note in class. Everybody laughed. I was kind of embarrassed, but you know me, I don't be really getting too embarrassed, but I was just like, this could have been bad. Like, it could have been bad.

[00:30:50] Hilarious Flashbacks & TV Show Throwbacks 📺😂

[00:30:50] Bruce Anthony: I could have wrote

[00:30:51] Bruce Anthony: something way worse than that and probably did, just didn't get notes caught.

[00:30:56] Bruce Anthony: But yes, so.

[00:30:57] J. Aundrea: just reminds me of that episode of WANs [00:31:00] Brothers with Mr. Gibbs. They, Mr. Gibbs read Sean's letter out loud and then, and then he died and they went to the funeral and they were gonna give him a stink bomb, but they didn't know he had died. And so they thought they brought a present to the funeral and it was a stink bomb.

[00:31:17] J. Aundrea: And

[00:31:18] Bruce Anthony: I am actually gonna watch that. Hey, I'm gonna watch that episode tonight. I wanna find an episode where they was, Sean was on the street and he was trying to call off to this woman, and the older woman yelled out, [00:31:30] Hey. And he is like, Ew, I, I don't remember. I don't remember.

[00:31:33] Phone-Free Perks: Boosting Focus & Fun 🎯🎉

[00:31:33] Bruce Anthony: Anyway, okay, so other benefits to taking away cell phones, like enhanced social interaction, mental health benefits, equity among students.

[00:31:42] Bruce Anthony: I'm just gonna read through all of these real fast. So, enhanced social interaction. Removing phones encourages face-to-face communication among students, fostering strong relationships and interpersonal skills. This is especially critical for young students. Students during their formative years. The mental health benefits, excessive phone [00:32:00] use is linked to anxiety addiction.

[00:32:02] Bruce Anthony: Not addition, not addiction. A addiction.

[00:32:05] J. Aundrea: Addiction.

[00:32:06] Bruce Anthony: Addiction. I don't know why I couldn't say that word just now. Uh, addiction and societal pressures stemming from unrealistic portrayals on social media. A band can alleviate these issues by providing students a reprieve from digital stress during school hours, and then equity among students.

[00:32:21] Bruce Anthony: Not all students can afford high end smartphones, which can create social economic disparities. A band ensures a level playing field by reducing the visibility of [00:32:30] such differences. That's another reason why they're also doing uniforms for schools. Uh, and I actually agree with that. I know kids hate uniformity, and it does kind of take away their creativity, but at the same time, it creates equity.

[00:32:43] Bruce Anthony: And I already explained to you, ladies and gentlemen, uh, on the last episode, the difference between equality and equity. Go listen and watch that. I make very valid points because I'm an smart and intelligent individual. But, but, but yeah, these are, when you, when you point these things out of why there should [00:33:00] be a restriction or ban a cell phone, it makes absolute sense.

[00:33:05] Bruce Anthony: Like when you think about it as an adult, I have an addiction. I finally said that word, right? I have an addiction to my cell phone and it does create stress and anxiety. That's the reason why I told you last week, I've developed this whole new thing. 'cause I read online, don't touch your cell phone for the first 15 minutes of the day.

[00:33:23] Bruce Anthony: So many people grabbed their cell phone and immediately you're inundated with messages, text, [00:33:30] news, and it's just like you've already started your day on fire. So of course, these kids, that's the reason why so many of these kids have anxiety is because of these cell phones. I, I love the convenience of it, but at the same time, damn.

[00:33:44] J. Aundrea: yeah. Things you know, things like cyber bullying and these, you know, unrealistic, you know, physically physical, like, aesthetic, uh, uh, expectations that you [00:34:00] see on social media and, and all kinds of stuff. Like all kinds, they're bombarded.

[00:34:06] J. Aundrea: All day. And the thing of it is, I used to love coming home from school and coming home from school, like, but the, like, not having to see everybody, I just spent the last eight hours

[00:34:20] J. Aundrea: with anymore for the day.

[00:34:23] J. Aundrea: And like with, with the kids these days and their phones, it's like they're [00:34:30] constantly in contact with each other and it's like, y'all don't get a y don't get a break. Like take a break.

[00:34:36] Bruce Anthony: Yeah. These kids I was in, I was in a debate with somebody, eh, a couple months ago, and they was just like, this young generation doesn't know how to communicate. And I said, that's not true. They just communicate differently.

[00:34:50] J. Aundrea: They communicate differently.

[00:34:51] Bruce Anthony: And they were like, well, they don't do well with face-to-face stuff. And I was like, yeah, okay.

[00:34:54] Bruce Anthony: Because they've lived their life on technology, whether it be cell phones, [00:35:00] iPads, computer, right? Like that's how they communicate. They know how to communicate, but just in person, they like the, the idea of the salesperson is probably dying because that's a person to person interaction face-to-face type thing.

[00:35:15] Bruce Anthony: Like closing sales, like that may die, but they'll still be able to close a cell if they could text you. Right. And online, just the

[00:35:24] J. Aundrea: But,

[00:35:24] Bruce Anthony: is different.

[00:35:25] J. Aundrea: but I don't think that that's, I think that's unique to young people in [00:35:30] general. I'm like, everybody remembers that first time that you had to order the pizza by yourself, or the first time you had to

[00:35:38] Bruce Anthony: you.

[00:35:38] J. Aundrea: dentist appointment.

[00:35:39] Bruce Anthony: I still ask you to call. I'll be like, Jay, can you, uh, I've grown, I've grown. Hey, Jay, can you call to make this appointment? I don't want to call nobody to make

[00:35:46] J. Aundrea: No, it, I don't, I think that's just, I don't think that's unique to this generation. Everybody has that thing where you first gotta first start making your own appointments. You gotta, you gotta call and make the, [00:36:00] you know, you like when online ordering for food or like online appointment setting and stuff came.

[00:36:07] J. Aundrea: I love it because I don't wanna call,

[00:36:10] Bruce Anthony: No, I don't wanna

[00:36:11] J. Aundrea: I don't wanna, if I don't have to, I don't want to call.

[00:36:14] Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

[00:36:15] J. Aundrea: Yeah. So I don't think that that's unique to just this generation.

[00:36:19] Bruce Anthony: I also like the equity among students. You know, I, I talked about the, uh, uniforms, but I know for a fact as a grown adult, [00:36:30] if I get a green bubble text from one of my adult friends, I'm dragging them. I'm like, why are you messing up the group chat? Why is this like iPhones? Is it, and so my bestie and another good friend of mine have Androids, and I'm just like, look, I, I, I hate texting you.

[00:36:46] Bruce Anthony: Let's, let's just DM do Instagram. I don't actually say that to her 'cause it's not true, but it's just like that green bubble. That green bubble. Why is your text message not coming through? Well, it's because you don't have iMessage. If you had [00:37:00] iMessage, it wouldn't matter where you are. It would go through, but because you absolutely need cell cellular because you got an Android, it's not going through.

[00:37:08] J. Aundrea: Yeah, it is. I mean, it's not like the students don't know who are the students, that their parents have money and who are the students whose parents don't have as much money, like the students know. So as, as little, visibility

[00:37:25] J. Aundrea: those disparities have, I think that's better. And, and also [00:37:30] the whole thing about uniforms and creativity, again, this is also something adults do.

[00:37:35] J. Aundrea: Adults have uniforms also. You know, it, it depends on the job. It depends on the job, but uniforms are absolutely a thing for adults. Also, if you're a mechanic, you got a uniform.

[00:37:46] Bruce Anthony: is true.

[00:37:46] J. Aundrea: if you are

[00:37:47] J. Aundrea: A doctor, a nurse you have a. You have a uniform. If you're an attorney that's suit, that's your uniform. Like they, we, we have uniforms like, you know, but you, there's a way to [00:38:00] express your creativity even with a uniform.

[00:38:02] J. Aundrea: Like you can still do it. Plenty of people.

[00:38:05] Bruce Anthony: it on, uh,

[00:38:06] J. Aundrea: Yeah. He just turned a jacket inside out. He was still wearing it. There was no dress code violation, so they had to let him wear the jacket inside out. You find ways to make it yours. But no, I think, I think uniforms level, the playing field, I think they're a good idea.

[00:38:25] J. Aundrea: I, I wish I had 'em. 'cause it also easier to get ready in the morning.[00:38:30]

[00:38:30] Bruce Anthony: Yeah. And the stress, woo. Lemme tell you about something back in high school. And I'm glad I went to a college, like your college, the first one you went to Howard.

[00:38:40] Bruce Anthony: It was a fashion show every day. And I'm just like, I didn't it, the, the black community kind of had a fashion show, but not really. And I could just, it was the first time that I could go to class and just wear wherever I wanted to wear.

[00:38:53] Bruce Anthony: Whereas in high school you had to come dressed to and press every day. And so you were like, man, the night before, you're [00:39:00] like, man, I don't even know where I need to wear from. I only got a finite amount of pants and shirts.

[00:39:06] J. Aundrea: And I feel like I wore it. Did I wear this last week? I can't even remember. What did I have on Monday last week? Like, you don't, it's so stressful. No, let me just put that sweater and that little skirt on and the my tights and my little loafers and go to school. Like

[00:39:23] J. Aundrea: that's,

[00:39:24] Bruce Anthony: One less thing to worry about. So you can focus on your studies. You not, but so you can.

[00:39:28] Why Kids Still Need Their Phones: The Flip Side of the Ban" 🚨📲🤫

[00:39:28] Bruce Anthony: So some of the negative [00:39:30] aspects. Of, of taking the phone away and I talked about enforcement issues, loss of learning tools, parental concerns, student resistance. I just wanna talk about enforcement issues and student resistance.

[00:39:41] Bruce Anthony: Like schools may struggle to enforce bands consistently, consistently, especially if policies a lie, exceptions for emergencies or educational purposes. Students might still find a way to use their phone discretely. Yes.

[00:39:54] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[00:39:56] Bruce Anthony: One thing kids going do is do what they want to do.

[00:39:59] J. Aundrea: [00:40:00] Yes. That's a hundred percent of what if I raise my head to go to the bathroom, just know my phone is in my pocket and I'm going to check something on my phone. I just don't want you to see like that's, and you can't refuse me going to the bathroom. So that's, you know, like Yeah. Kids gonna find a way to get around it.

[00:40:19] J. Aundrea: Yes. And that's why I don't think a ban is a going to work, and B, going to even be beneficial because [00:40:30] there are emergencies. I don't know why they would need their phone for educational purposes. There's a library in the school, and I'm assuming computers also, so.

[00:40:39] Bruce Anthony: might not be any books left in that library.

[00:40:42] J. Aundrea: Well, that's neither here nor there, but they, I, I don't know why they would need their phone

[00:40:47] Bruce Anthony: I look, I don't know, maybe the T one calculator is on the phone now. Maybe you don't need

[00:40:53] J. Aundrea: actually actually the calculator on your phone does have scientific mode

[00:40:57] Bruce Anthony: Okay. So there you go. All right. So [00:41:00] remember, 'cause we had to buy that T one, T two,

[00:41:02] J. Aundrea: ITI 87 ti I 86. Yeah. And those

[00:41:06] J. Aundrea: things were like $150 at the time for a calculator.

[00:41:09] Bruce Anthony: got stolen one time. I didn't even tell my parents. I just had to do the math and figure it out because I didn't know. I didn't know who stole it. I just know, and it, it got stolen because I left it somewhere.

[00:41:21] J. Aundrea: Oh, well

[00:41:22] Bruce Anthony: So it was my fault. If I had done a deep detective dive, I probably could have find out who it was.

[00:41:27] Bruce Anthony: I, I kind of knew who the corporate, the culprit [00:41:30] was, but I don't think that I could have really beat them in a fight, so I didn't really press him on it. I just said, you know, I'm gonna have to figure, it was almost the end of the school year anyway. I was like, I'm gonna have to figure out this math.

[00:41:41] Bruce Anthony: Anyway,

[00:41:41] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[00:41:42] Bruce Anthony: no punk, but also

[00:41:45] J. Aundrea: You ain't gonna,

[00:41:45] Bruce Anthony: ass.

[00:41:46] Bruce Anthony: I ain't going.

[00:41:46] J. Aundrea: into a fight.

[00:41:47] Bruce Anthony: Yeah, this person had knocked out seniors and we were freshmen and so I was knocked him out. This is the first time I ever seen people get knocked out. Now kids see people getting knocked out all the time 'cause of these school videos, [00:42:00] which is another reason why you shouldn't have your cell phone in the school.

[00:42:03] Bruce Anthony: Uh, kids getting knocked out. I didn't see that until he knocked him out and I was like, he knocked out a football player.

[00:42:09] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[00:42:10] Bruce Anthony: Uh, I'm 150 pounds. I I'm gonna go ahead. If he took it, you know what? He really, really needed it. He didn't come from a, you know, fa a well to do family and I didn't either, but, you know, mom and dad make a way if I needed to get another one.

[00:42:25] Bruce Anthony: And the school year is almost over with. But yes, I think the T one, they might, there might be some [00:42:30] programs and stuff. I'm going to assume apps that help students.

[00:42:33] J. Aundrea: But yeah, definitely for emergency situations and definitely, you know, the, there are kids that do extracurriculars, like I said, and need to coordinate pickups and drop offs and things like that. So it's like, yeah, I can definitely understand kids needing their phones in school and they're gonna find a way to use 'em.

[00:42:50] Bruce Anthony: Kids gonna find a way.

[00:42:51]  Policy Plays: Navigating School Cell Phone Laws 🏫⚖️

[00:42:51] Bruce Anthony: And there's already some states that are implemented, you know, these school bans. You know, Florida's implemented the statewide band all the way back in 2023, [00:43:00] prohibiting cell phone use during, in instructional periods, and blocking social media access on the school wifi networks. I don't know if that really works anymore because you don't really need your wifi.

[00:43:10] Bruce Anthony: You could just, you know, everybody has unlimited data now. California adapted a law in 2024 requiring schools to restrict cell phone use during class time while incorporating digital literacy education starting in the sixth grade. Now, see California. People always wanna talk about the liberals in California.

[00:43:29] Bruce Anthony: That's [00:43:30] actually the way you're supposed to do it, right? Like, like, okay, we're gonna restrict cell phone use, but we also going to teach you about digital literacy because Florida didn't do nothing about that. You know, Utah is institu the policy, uh, as well. Uh, they gotta put their cell phone in patches, uh, and pouches.

[00:43:49] Bruce Anthony: During school hours, Los Angeles voted to enforce a comprehensive ban starting in the spring of 2024, and of course, act Arkansas passed out. Phone Free School Act [00:44:00] mandating districts to develop restrictive cell phone policies by 2020 with exceptions for medical emergencies or educational purposes, and even with states that I typically disagree with on their policy.

[00:44:13] Bruce Anthony: You know, I, at first, when I first started reading about this, I was like, I don't know about taking the cell phone away from the kids. Then I thought about it and I was like, I. Yeah, no, this, this could kind of benefit 'cause I think the cell phone can stunt your growth,

[00:44:29] J. Aundrea: Yeah.[00:44:30]

[00:44:30] Bruce Anthony: so

[00:44:31] J. Aundrea: in a lot of ways, in, in, in some of the ways that they, that you mentioned, such as face-to-face communication, I.

[00:44:40] Bruce Anthony: yeah.

[00:44:42] J. Aundrea: Developing stronger relationships and interpersonal skills through that socialization. A lot of why school is important is the socialization aspect of it. And if you always got your face in your phone, you're socializing in a way.

[00:44:58] J. Aundrea: Like they, a kid will [00:45:00] argue you down, I am socializing. I'm on the phone. Yeah, but you don't know how to talk to people. And I'll give you a prime example. I I was in court not for me, uh, not for me. I was taking somebody, but we were, it was like, it was traffic court and there were so many young, especially young black men that would get up there. It was their turn and they were talking to [00:45:30] the judge and they were speaking so low you couldn't hear 'em. They, they don't know how to speak up annunciate project.

[00:45:38] J. Aundrea: Like speak in, in a professional setting or a professional way. They don't, they just didn't have the, and I was like, it's 'cause your face is always in your phone. And then also schools don't really give, in my opinion, enough, [00:46:00] opportunities for kids to present. Like, like give a report or something. Like give more opportunities for kids to present.

[00:46:07] J. Aundrea: Yeah. They give more opportunities for kids to work on their communication skills. But it was so many like young men that were really struggling to communicate in a professional setting. And it was very disheartening to see

[00:46:24] Bruce Anthony: Hmm. Well, you know what else is disheartening

[00:46:27] J. Aundrea: a lot of stuff. But what specifically,[00:46:30]

[00:46:30] Bruce Anthony: When people use your stuff at work and when your mother-in-law don't listen. And we gonna get into that next.  

[00:46:44] Bruce Anthony: All right, Jay. I went to Reddit. It's been a little while. I haven't brought these up for a while. It's been a little while. And I went into my favorite section. Am I overreacting? And I found two. And also there's a third that we're gonna do for YouTube exclusives.

[00:46:57] J. Aundrea: Yes.

[00:46:58] Bruce Anthony: YouTube exclusive is starting to pick up. [00:47:00] Y'all do realize if you like the show, have videos on YouTube that are not on the show. That is

[00:47:09] J. Aundrea: are exclusive. That's what it means

[00:47:11] Bruce Anthony: it exclusive? I,

[00:47:12] J. Aundrea: when we say YouTube exclusive.

[00:47:15] Bruce Anthony: I it's exclusive.

[00:47:16] Bruce Anthony: It's

[00:47:17] J. Aundrea: to YouTube.

[00:47:18] Bruce Anthony: YouTube. Like you ain't, it's it's not like we've cut stuff from the show and made it a YouTube exclusive, which there are clips.

[00:47:26] Bruce Anthony: Yeah, there are clips on the show that are also clips, [00:47:30] but we, we record and it comes out every Monday and Saturday.

[00:47:34] Bruce Anthony: Those are YouTube exclusives. They're typically around 10 minutes. Sometimes they go up 20 minutes.

[00:47:39] Bruce Anthony: That's just, yeah,

[00:47:41] J. Aundrea: exclusives

[00:47:42] Bruce Anthony: it is only on YouTube. But anyway, so two of them,

[00:47:46] J. Aundrea: YouTube exclusive.

[00:47:49] Bruce Anthony: because people are like, oh, I didn't know about that. I say that, I say it all. I say it at the top of the intro. I say it all throughout the show. It's YouTube exclusive, like it's only on YouTube, [00:48:00] nowhere else. Anyway, so this first am I overreacting is titled

[00:48:05] Mug Wars at Work: When “Not Yours” Speaks Volumes ☕💥

[00:48:05] Bruce Anthony: Using My Mug at Work.

[00:48:07] J. Aundrea: Nope. I already can tell you the answer is you are not because, excuse me, tell, read it because.

[00:48:15] Bruce Anthony: Okay. Am I overreacting for making my coworker cry because I passively aggressively labeled my mug not yours, all in caps after the fourth time he used it. So this is the, this is the post. There's this [00:48:30] dude at work who keeps using my favorite mug. Not saying, not just any mug. The mug I got after running my first marathon, I asked him nicely, multiple times to stop.

[00:48:39] Bruce Anthony: He'd always laugh it off, like chill. It's just a cup. So after the fourth time, I got a Sharpie and wrote, not yours on the side. Big, bold, unmistakable. The next day he saw it, didn't say a word, but apparently told someone he felt attacked and left early. Now the office vibe is weird and people are kind of [00:49:00] side eyeing me.

[00:49:01] J. Aundrea: Oh, well,

[00:49:02] Bruce Anthony: Am I overreacting or was that fair game?

[00:49:06] J. Aundrea: absolutely not overreacting, first of all, first of all. I've asked him nicely multiple times to stop. He always laughed it off like chill. It's just a cup. Here's the thing. The first time,

[00:49:21] Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.

[00:49:22] J. Aundrea: 'cause I'm not telling you multiple times to stop. The first time I say, Hey, that's my mug that you're using. [00:49:30] Can you not use my mug?

[00:49:31] J. Aundrea: Can you use one of the other mugs? Chill. It's just a cup. My response then is it's not just a cup, it's my cup and I'm asking you not to use it. Don't use it anymore. Like period. And if you use it again, then I'm writing the not yours. It wasn't gonna be no multiple times

[00:49:48] Bruce Anthony: He was, he the, the person, I don't know if this was a man or a woman 'cause it didn't specify, but the person that was using it was definitely a

[00:49:54] Bruce Anthony: man.

[00:49:54] J. Aundrea: said. There's this dude at work.

[00:49:56] Bruce Anthony: No, I'm talking about the persons whose mug it was. It doesn't really specify [00:50:00] if it was a man or, or a female.

[00:50:02] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[00:50:04] Bruce Anthony: It don't matter. I'm gonna tell you one.

[00:50:05] Bruce Anthony: Yeah. One time this person was nice enough to say four times and then to feel, to say he felt attacked.

[00:50:11] Bruce Anthony: Yeah. I actually,

[00:50:13] J. Aundrea: Yeah

[00:50:14] J. Aundrea: You do. I

[00:50:15] Bruce Anthony: second time, I'm actually going to attack you. 'cause I done told you one time, I, I'm not gonna repeat myself. I don't repeat myself. The kids. I damn sure I'm not gonna repeat myself to adults.

[00:50:25] Bruce Anthony: I told you what it was.

[00:50:26] J. Aundrea: yeah.

[00:50:27] Bruce Anthony: I told you what it was. Now we gonna have a discrepancy. [00:50:30]

[00:50:30] J. Aundrea: I actually will repeat myself for kids, but other, uh, otherwise

[00:50:36] Bruce Anthony: You know, I'm just talking some ish.

[00:50:39] J. Aundrea: just

[00:50:39] J. Aundrea: talk, just talking straightish. But you know. Good. Well, you'll repeat yourself for some kids, but no, for a grown adult. You heard what I said. It don't matter how I said it. You heard what I said the first time, and it's not chill. It's just a cup and it, and then it's like you've, the fourth time he's [00:51:00] used it.

[00:51:00] Bruce Anthony: Fourth time. Fourth time and then everybody in. Look, first of all, you might wanna find a new job because if everybody in the office is starting to side eye you and taking his side of it, then that's the issue in and of itself. That means that office has no boundaries. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna have to come in to work every day with people that have no boundaries.

[00:51:19] Bruce Anthony: Because you know what? I see what? See, I see this is the reason why I don't have no real job. I mean, I got a real job, ladies, gentlemen,

[00:51:26] Bruce Anthony: but not like, yeah, I don't have a corporate job. 'cause I'd be in HR all the [00:51:30] time. 'cause I don't hold my tongue. And I'm gonna tell you how I feel. If you stink, I'm gonna let you know that you stinking.

[00:51:36] Bruce Anthony: I understand that that's not something that you could do in the corporate world, like in the corporate

[00:51:40] Bruce Anthony: setting. Yeah,

[00:51:40] J. Aundrea: way of doing it,

[00:51:42] Bruce Anthony: I'm, I'm not gonna do it the right way. I know that. Like I'm gonna say, Hey man, you stink. I told you don't use my mug. I don't want your germs on my mug.

[00:51:51] Bruce Anthony: Don't touch my mug again. I'm gonna slam this mug upside your head.

[00:51:55] Bruce Anthony: I'm going to hr, I'm probably gonna get terminated 'cause of a threat.

[00:51:57] J. Aundrea: Yeah. Yeah. Well, here's the [00:52:00] thing. The first time I see you using my mug and I ask you to stop. You say chill. It's just a cup. And I say it's not just a cup, it's my cup. You think it's a cup? I'm telling you it's my cup. And if I see you using it again, then we are gonna take it to HR

[00:52:19] Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.

[00:52:20] J. Aundrea: because now you're not respecting my personal property in the workplace.

[00:52:25] J. Aundrea: So You can, you can do what you wanna do. But as far as like [00:52:30] everybody's side eyeing me and the office vibe is weird. I, that's when I get up and make an announcement. I said what I said about my mug, and if I catch anybody else using my mug, you gonna get the same energy in a corporate way.

[00:52:46] Bruce Anthony: See, see, and this is another reason why I don't have a corporate job. 'cause as soon as they said, you know, it is just a mug. Don't, it's not a big deal. I might've fired off on him.

[00:52:57] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[00:52:58] Bruce Anthony: I might, I might like, [00:53:00] don't tell me how I should feel about, I really hate

[00:53:04] Bruce Anthony: when people tell me how, yeah, like, don't tell me how I should feel.

[00:53:08] Bruce Anthony: That really agitates me now as I get older and I'm going to respond back with, with aggression. But that's, that's just, you know, Hey look, don't be using other people's stuff.

[00:53:19] J. Aundrea: Yeah. And then, you know, he shouldn't have to, I'm sure they have like an employee break room or someplace where he washes out his mug and puts it in a cabinet. That's how we used to have [00:53:30] in ours, you know? He shouldn't have to take his mug home every day. Everybody else can seem to keep their mugs there.

[00:53:37] J. Aundrea: And it not be a problem. If you really want it to be nice, you could buy your coworker another mug. I might do it, in a passive aggressive way and like have a mug printed. You could just have a mug made at like a Walgreens or something and it'll say, this is your mug, so and so. Don't touch nobody else mug on it.

[00:53:59] J. Aundrea: And then that's what [00:54:00] it'll say on it. And, and I'll be like, this is the mug you can use. Don't touch nobody else's mug. If it's not this mug or mug you brought, don't touch nobody because first of all, why you often brought your own mug,

[00:54:14] Bruce Anthony: Mm. Mm-hmm.

[00:54:17] J. Aundrea: know that you drink your coffee or your tea or whatever at work.

[00:54:21] J. Aundrea: Why haven't you brought your own mug? Everybody else don't seem to have a problem the mug situation, but you.

[00:54:29] Bruce Anthony: And, [00:54:30] and is it just me? And this might just be me 'cause I don't really like drinking other af after other people. But I wouldn't wanna, you know, if it's community mugs, I wouldn't want to use somebody else's mug that I know is

[00:54:42] J. Aundrea: No, because I don't

[00:54:44] Bruce Anthony: habitual monster.

[00:54:45] J. Aundrea: I don't know if you're washing my mug out properly.

[00:54:48] J. Aundrea: Are you just,

[00:54:49] Bruce Anthony: the person that's using the mug.

[00:54:51] J. Aundrea: I don't know where you been.

[00:54:53] Bruce Anthony: yeah. Mm-hmm.

[00:54:54] Bruce Anthony: Nah,

[00:54:55] J. Aundrea: kind of cooties you got

[00:54:56] Bruce Anthony: They got some cooties. People got cooties

[00:54:58] Bruce Anthony: out here 'cause once,

[00:54:59] J. Aundrea: my mug.[00:55:00]

[00:55:00] Bruce Anthony: right. Alright, so here's the last one.

[00:55:03] Strawberry Standoff: When In-Laws Ignore Parenting Rules" 🍓👵🚫

[00:55:03] Bruce Anthony: Uh, and I titled it Mother-in-Law just ain't listening. The person that posted this titled, am I overreacting, mother-in-law tried to feed my baby strawberries after I said no three times, even screamed at her to stop.

[00:55:17] Bruce Anthony: Okay, so here's a post. My husband, our son and I visited my in-laws to celebrate my grandmother, my grandma in-law's birthday. Everything was going well until my mother-in-law picked up a strawberry from the [00:55:30] table and tried to feed it to my son while holding him. For context, my son just started solids and I'm introducing new foods gradually.

[00:55:37] Bruce Anthony: He hasn't tried strawberries yet, and I haven't given anyone permission to feed him. I told her no three times, but she wouldn't listen. I ended up yelling for her to stop, and even then she kept ignoring me. I had to physically take my son from her. Before this, I was fine with the idea of them babysitting, but after what happened, I no longer feel comfortable leaving him with them [00:56:00] unsupervised.

[00:56:00] Bruce Anthony: Am I overreaction? Am I overreacting? And here was a question. It was a question in the comments. The question was, what has been your husband's response to his mother? She, her, his mother disrespecting you. She said, he said he didn't notice what was happening and made excuses for her saying she probably didn't hear me or something.

[00:56:20] Bruce Anthony: He has a habit of downplaying her behavior.

[00:56:23] J. Aundrea: Okay, that's a problem.

[00:56:25] Bruce Anthony: Problem.

[00:56:25] J. Aundrea: first of all, no, never. Because, because [00:56:30] you're not overreacting. That's your baby.

[00:56:32] Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.

[00:56:33] J. Aundrea: That's your baby. And a lot of times in-laws or your own parents, a lot of times the grandparents will overstep. 'cause they feel like, well, we raised y'all. We did a good job. We know what we're doing.

[00:56:46] J. Aundrea: I understand that. But introducing new foods to a baby is, is, is serious business because you have to monitor them for allergies. So there are, there are certain foods [00:57:00] that you want to introduce. In like a control setting, like peanut butter for example, or any kind of nut, something like that. 'cause a lot of kids have nut allergies.

[00:57:09] Bruce Anthony: Mm-hmm.

[00:57:10] J. Aundrea: And that baby could be allergic to strawberries. We don't know. And I haven't, this is not a control setting for them to try it for the first time. And also I said no

[00:57:21] Bruce Anthony: Three times.

[00:57:22] J. Aundrea: three times and then I told you to stop. You kept ignoring me. Now gimme my [00:57:30] baby and I'm not leaving, am here with you no more until you can prove to me that you can follow my direction as their parent.

[00:57:38] J. Aundrea: I am this child's parent. Not you. No. You're not overreacting. Hell no. And the way I'd have scooped my child up and rolled out and, and my, if my husband wanna sit there and rationalize and downplay her behavior, you could stay here too. We'll go. You could stay where you clearly wanna be. [00:58:00] Because Uhuh, you supposed to cleave Bible study, you supposed to cleave, okay from your family and this new family that you're creating is supposed to be your priority, this new family that you've created.

[00:58:13] J. Aundrea: So if this can't be your priority and you can't step to your mom and be like, Hey, this is our child. We we're choosing when and, and when we aren't introducing new foods, you can either respect that or [00:58:30] we can go and that's the point blank period. And that's why you really seeing a real rise these days of people going no contact with their parents because you got a lot of parents out here that just do not respect you as an adult. They don't know how to do that and, and they overstep. But no, I think it's, I think she's more than. Within her, well, within her [00:59:00] right to set up boundaries for her own child.

[00:59:03] Bruce Anthony: That's what I was gonna harp on. And both of these, am I overreacting? It's about boundaries. Everything in life is to me about boundaries. About what you're willing to accept, what you're not willing to accept, and you put a hard line on what you're willing to accept and what you're not willing to accept.

[00:59:20] Bruce Anthony: And if people can't respect it, they can move to the side. They can keep it pushing. You ain't got to be in my life.

[00:59:26] J. Aundrea: You don't got to be here.

[00:59:28] Bruce Anthony: Well, I mean, they [00:59:30] not here in my life. They, they do have,

[00:59:33] Bruce Anthony: I

[00:59:33] J. Aundrea: Well, yes, that's what, yes. You aint got, you ain't got to be here with me.

[00:59:38] J. Aundrea: You can be in, you can be anywhere. I really don't care. As long as it ain't here

[00:59:45] Bruce Anthony: Right.

[00:59:45] J. Aundrea: with me.

[00:59:46] Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

[00:59:47] J. Aundrea: Yeah,

[00:59:48] Wrap-Up & What’s Next: Closing Remarks 🎤🚀

[00:59:48] Bruce Anthony: All right, Jay, what do you wanna tell these people? I hear

[00:59:51] J. Aundrea: man. Listen. When you set boundaries, the people who buck at 'em are the people you need to get out your life [01:00:00] because they never respected you in the first place.

[01:00:03] Bruce Anthony: periods. And on that note, thank you for listening. Thank you for watching. And until next time, as always, I. 

[01:00:20] Bruce Anthony: Yeah, I'm doing a couple of them. A couple of them because, um, I'm running outta material.

[01:00:26] J. Aundrea: Oh, facts. And I don't wanna, you know, you don't wanna [01:00:30] talk about politics all the damn time.

[01:00:32] Bruce Anthony: I don't wanna talk about politics all the time. Let me, lemme change this light before we start recording. I don't wanna talk about politics all the damn time. And also like, um, you can't, like, they won't really monetize on YouTube politics. So there's a part of me that's just like, I'm gonna kind of lay off until something crazy happens.

[01:00:53] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[01:00:54] Bruce Anthony: I don't really need to talk about politics 'cause I'm not really trying to deal with it. for real, [01:01:00] for real. I'm just trying to adjust my light. We'll get started.

[01:01:03] J. Aundrea: Yeah, me too. Now you're green. Okay. There you go.

[01:01:06] Bruce Anthony: Yeah.

[01:01:08] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[01:01:09] Bruce Anthony: All right. Between us, do not disturb. What are we talking about? Shit, that's kind of important. Uh, dilly darling. Oh, cell phones. Cell phone. Bands at school. I was like, what was Segment two cell phone bands at school. And then are, am I overreacting? All right, so we wanna talk about, uh, cell phones. Shit, the,

[01:01:28] J. Aundrea: that Riverside has [01:01:30] like a little picture and picture, so I can look at the, I can still see you and I, but I could also just read. I have the rundown up. That's nice.

[01:01:38] Bruce Anthony: yeah, I don't know how to do that. I don't know how you did that. How did, how did you do that?

[01:01:43] J. Aundrea: I don't know. I just clicked on the rundown and it made it a little picture and picture.

[01:01:47] Bruce Anthony: Oh, you got it on a separate screen, still

[01:01:51] J. Aundrea: Now

[01:01:51] Bruce Anthony: a separate tab.

[01:01:53] J. Aundrea: Yeah.

[01:01:54] Bruce Anthony: Okay. Yeah, yeah,

[01:01:55] J. Aundrea: I got the rundown in a separate tab.

[01:01:57] Bruce Anthony: yeah. Um, I'm trying to make my screen smaller. I remember how to do it pop out view. No, that's not what I want. How did I make my screen smaller last time? Or put you in the middle?

[01:01:57] J. Aundrea: Um, you have to do layout.

[01:01:57] Bruce Anthony: Where is that?

[01:01:57] J. Aundrea: At the bottom.

[01:01:57] Bruce Anthony: Oh, layout.

[01:01:57] J. Aundrea: speaker, full screen. Speaker split

[01:01:57] Bruce Anthony: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what I want. That that changes the, the, the complete recording. I just wanna make mine smaller.

[01:01:57] J. Aundrea: Oh. Well that

[01:01:57] Bruce Anthony: Okay. Well, I put you to the, to the side where, where I wanted you, but that, that's not, maybe it's the pen. Oh, wait a bit. Pen. There we go. All right. You're at least on the main screen a little bit. My eyes are gonna be,

[01:01:57] J. Aundrea: How do I pin you?

[01:01:57] Bruce Anthony: you just go to my, yeah, you said,

[01:01:57] J. Aundrea: Yep.

[01:01:57] Bruce Anthony: all right. Uh, what we talking about again? [01:02:00] Let's get started.

[01:02:03] Bruce Anthony: 'cause these Sundays I've been, I, I didn't even eat last Sunday until three o'clock. I'm like, no, we gonna have to change something with this. This is gonna have to,

[01:02:10] J. Aundrea: Well, we're filming a lot in just two hours, so this, it's a

[01:02:16] Bruce Anthony: this is true. All you ready? Are you cool with them taking them baby?  

[01:02:26] Alright, lemme move this over.

[01:02:26] J. Aundrea: Yeah. They've got, uh, [01:02:30] whiskey, deep ocean

[01:02:32] J. Aundrea: LAN

[01:02:32] Bruce Anthony: gonna check it out then.

[01:02:33] J. Aundrea: noir.

[01:02:34] Bruce Anthony: How much they cost. Are they body creams or body butters? Do they come in a jar or did it come in a squeeze tube?

[01:02:41] J. Aundrea: so these are body creams and then they have, uh. Like a beard and scruff cream with shea butter and a jar.

[01:02:54] Bruce Anthony: I don't

[01:02:55] J. Aundrea: But their body creams are very thick.

[01:02:57] J. Aundrea: They're not lotion. They're cream,[01:03:00]

[01:03:00] J. Aundrea: so they're

[01:03:01] Bruce Anthony: creams, but I also like, like when I got these, uh, these body butters, the body butters is almost like, you know how coconut oil can be both a solid and a liquid and it can go back and forth depending on the room temperature? Yeah. That's what these kind of like body buttons are, but they're, most of the time they're just solid.

[01:03:21] Bruce Anthony: So you gotta scoop them bad boys out, and when you put it on, you be real glossy and greasy. But I'm like, I know it's working.

[01:03:29] J. Aundrea: Yes. [01:03:30] Yeah,

[01:03:33] Bruce Anthony: I need that gloss grease.

[01:03:36] J. Aundrea: G.

[01:03:37] Bruce Anthony: Yeah. All right. You ready?

[01:03:37] Bruce Anthony: Woo. That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment, and share our podcast. Wherever you're listening or watching it to it, pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock, we'll enjoy it also.

[01:03:57] Bruce Anthony: So share the wealth, share the [01:04:00] knowledge, share the noise. For all those people that say, well, I don't have a YouTube. If you have a Gmail account, you have a YouTube. Subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can actually watch our video podcast and YouTube exclusive content. But the real party is on our Patreon page after Hours Uncensored and talking straight ish after Hours.

[01:04:18] Bruce Anthony: Uncensored is another show with my sister, and once again, the key word there is uncensored. Those are exclusively on our Patreon page. Jump onto our website@unsolicitedperspective.com [01:04:30] for all things us. That's where you can get all of our audio video, our blogs. And even buy our merch. And if you really feel generous and want to help us out, you can donate on our donations page.

[01:04:41] Bruce Anthony: Donations go strictly to improving our software and hardware so we can keep giving you guys good content that you can clearly listen to and that you can clearly see. So any donation would be appreciative. Most importantly, I wanna say thank you, thank you, thank you for listening and watching and supporting [01:05:00] us, and I'll catch you next time.

[01:05:02] Bruce Anthony: Audi 5,000 Peace.