Parenting in a Multiracial World: Insights from Educator Megan Meertens | Challenges of Moving, Open Communication & Heartwarming Moments

00:02.90
Bruce Anthony
On today's episode I'll be interviewing one of my oldest and dearest friends Meghan Meertons she's a mother special educator and she's traveled all over the world. So we're going to get into a little bit of conversation about that. But first thanks first.

00:16.68
Bruce Anthony
Hello and I'm here with Megan Meertens I'm not going to lie to you guys out there. This is a longterm friend of mine I've known her since college. She knew me back when she's traveled all over. She's lived in several states several countries has 3 beautiful children special educator.

00:28.91
Megan Meertens
Um.

00:35.93
Bruce Anthony
And after begging and pleading for months six months a total to get her on the show to tell me about her and to to interview her about her incredible life in her journey since college she finally agreed and she's on now. Welcome Megan Meertens.

00:52.77
Megan Meertens
Thanks for having me.

00:55.54
Bruce Anthony
I mean yeah, only been trying to do this since like november.

01:00.94
Megan Meertens
Um, well in all honesty, My life has been kind of falling apart. So I'm back I'm back I'm back to the land of the living.

01:02.97
Bruce Anthony
I mean we'll need to put all your business out there. We need. Yeah yeah, yeah, we need to put all your business out there. The people out there don't need to know that you know we go we all talk about some other stuff but not that now now I'm going to be getting Dms and emails. So what's going on in Megan Meertens's life none of your damn business That's what that's that's what is my friend for over twenty years and we're gonna talk about good stuff. But the first thing that I want to get into is even though I've known you for a long time. I don't know much about your background. So can you tell us a little bit share a little bit about your background your upbringing I know that you're from Maryland you know that montgerma county area. Um did what growing up in that area and with your family How did that influencing your parenting and your teaching approach and did it at all.

01:57.50
Megan Meertens
So um I think a little bit so I was born and raised in Montgomery County while I was born in Dc and I lived in gathersburg pretty much my whole life except for 2 years My family lived in Ireland I am the baby baby of my family. Um, the youngest of 5 and they my siblings are 8 10 12 and 14 years older than me so very much the baby? Um, but I loved growing up in Gainsburg and I think that that has kind of had a huge impact on me just as a person I grew up in a very diverse area. So I think that really um. I've always been around a lot of different people and then as an adult moving I've traveled the world I lived for 3 years in the Netherlands with my kids and um their father. So I've now lived in 3 countries I've lived in four States. So. I think that that has a like I can see people for who they are and kind of meld in or like kind of chameleon in with other people. So I think it's really important to kind of learn about people and realize like everybody has different journeys.

03:06.99
Bruce Anthony
And did that influence you at all with how you parent your children and how you work with the kids that you teach.

03:17.66
Megan Meertens
I Think like with my own kids like I always have um and I know this will come up. My kids are multiracial so I am white my their father is um.

03:30.10
Megan Meertens
Black and indian and he's actually Guyyese so their first generation americans on their dad's side because he wasn't born in this country. Ah um, so like he immigrated here when he was 8 so I've really always told them and my one of my children is very white presenting everyone if if you're white.

03:37.60
Bruce Anthony
Ah I didn't even know that.

03:49.91
Megan Meertens
If You're not white. Most people know she's not all white. Um, but I think I've always told them they are all lighter and I've always kind of talked with them about like our job as global citizens is to like reach across the aisle and always make sure everybody has space at a table. So I Really Like. Have to as like a white woman have had to really learn about race learn about their experiences learn about their father's experience and I think that also plays in my teaching I I teach in a very diverse area and there are a lot of different understandings of Education. And so I really try to like meet my families where they are and um, really collaborate I think it's super important that like parents know or guardians I try to not say to parents so that I usually say to my kids their grownups at home because we never know what their life looks like um and so just kind of.

04:38.93
Bruce Anthony
Are.

04:45.50
Megan Meertens
Making sure that they know that I am on their side and the side that that I'm on is their kids side and we will always work together. So I think it's super important to like make sure that we're collaborating as much and I teach my kids that they've um.

04:46.43
Bruce Anthony
Here.

04:59.86
Megan Meertens
You know and to speak up. They are really really vocal at school and everywhere. Um and we have a lot of really good debates now that they're teens. Um, so I think that that's like my biggest thing is like making sure that we're really like always trying to understand other people's perspective.

05:02.29
Bruce Anthony
Fifth.

05:16.53
Bruce Anthony
A kind of a constant conversation I have with my sister about this gen z because they're GenZYour kids are gen z because I don't think there's any generation after gen z I think that they fit into that category and a lot of things that that me and my sister talk about we give great parenting advice. In fact.

05:23.88
Megan Meertens
Yeah I guess.

05:35.38
Bruce Anthony
Despite the fact that neither one of us or parents. Um, but we were just talking about it on the last episode about obedience first respect and how a lot of parents were back in our our day our parents would just say do as I say and you weren't really able to question that and it's in it's cool to hear.

05:47.93
Megan Meertens
Um, yeah.

05:54.23
Bruce Anthony
That you keep an open dialogue where your children can express themselves because I think that's that's how you teach critical thinking. That's how you teach learning another perspective and digesting that and learning from it. So That's really cool. You know, but knowing you like I know you from back in the day I know your kids got a mouse.

06:17.63
Megan Meertens
Yeah, so it's really fun parenting teens Um, especially teens that you've taught their entire life to speak up and speak out because it's humbling they will tell me when I'm not doing a great job. They will tell me they.

06:28.48
Bruce Anthony
Fit.

06:31.73
Megan Meertens
Check me when I need to be checked like they are very and it is you have to I think when they were younger I was more like ok just do this like I was a lot stricter when they were younger. Um I was like a little bit neurotic like you can only take this box of toys out than they had to be cleaned up and.

06:41.13
Bruce Anthony
And.

06:48.85
Megan Meertens
You need to do this because I told you to this but as they got older I've actually as much as I was in control when they were little I've really enjoyed watching them kind of grow and I'm going to have a senior in high school next year. So it's this whole like thing that he's going to be on his own and I.

06:49.10
Bruce Anthony
Oh god.

07:08.35
Megan Meertens
Want him to start making his own decisions to start making choices that he would be proud of like himself. Not proud of because mom thinks he should be doing them. But um, really things that like he needs to learn how to be a good man right? like that's that that was my job to give him all the skills he needed so that when he leaves me.

07:12.13
Bruce Anthony
Right.

07:20.80
Bruce Anthony
And.

07:28.90
Megan Meertens
He's doing the right thing and he's being a good person a good human so we talk about a lot. Let's.

07:33.27
Bruce Anthony
Ah, okay, so that's interesting because I know that was probably the goal of my parents as well was to make sure that I was a good man once I left their house and went to college and like I said ladies and Gentlemen Megan Meertens has known me since.

07:50.81
Megan Meertens
I.

07:51.26
Bruce Anthony
College and you you and I can both honestly say that I had some serious faults ah coming out of high school and going into college and actually coming out of college. How do you.

08:09.49
Bruce Anthony
When trying to teach your kids this value system that you want them to maintain as they grow older. How do you reconcile with the fact that they might not get it right away like it might take them 40 years for instance before it finally clicks in their head of. The person that they should be because that's just evolution and growth.

08:29.76
Megan Meertens
Um, and I think like I mean I'm very upfront I don't get things right with my kids I there are times I come in and I yell at them or I snap or I'm just like just do this like I've just told you to do this. Just do it right? So a lot of that is saying I'm not always right I'm in my forty s and I.

08:45.00
Bruce Anthony
Um, me.

08:47.31
Megan Meertens
Still I'm trying to be a good parent and my youngest really I mean my oldest really grew up with me I had him when I was a baby and and so you know I am not always a great mom to him. He gets the worst of me very frequently and so that's a lot of me saying like especially now like.

08:51.73
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, right? yes.

09:02.90
Bruce Anthony
Um, and.

09:06.27
Megan Meertens
I Don't have all the answers I'm not always right and I'm still learning and I'm still growing like me going back to them when I snap and say hey like I was just having a really that day and it wasn't right for me to take it out on you or like I didn't make all the choices. We know it's a little bit crazy in college.

09:22.80
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, yeah, we not gonna talk about that We we are not going to talk about all the stories from back in the day cornerstone. That's all I got to say is cornerstone bar and grill.

09:24.44
Megan Meertens
We will keep that off this podcast.

09:34.50
Megan Meertens
Um, so you know part of being young is making those choices but like I try to like just remind my oldest, especially my youngest I mean my middle is very like toes. The line. My oldest is more like let me test every boundary there is. Um, and so I'm like you know you don't want to go to Jail like let's like keep keep your whatever to like not getting arrested and like I mean I No he he isn't He is a really great kid. He is really Smart. He's super Caring. Um.

09:59.95
Bruce Anthony
Right? But he's not a bad kid. He's not gonna get arrested there.

10:12.90
Megan Meertens
But I'd like say to him he has red hair. He is light skin and has this red hair which he actually just chopped off but I'm always like everyone is going to see you. You are 6 almost 6 3 you have a very unique look anywhere in a crowd you are going to be spotted so you always have to kind of just be aware of. Of your surroundings and what you're doing because people will remember you so you have to think about those things for your choices. But ultimately you know if he's not going to jail I'm doing something right? um.

10:32.70
Bruce Anthony
Faith.

10:42.14
Bruce Anthony
That's that's the that's the standard He ain't going to Jail That's all I care about him.

10:46.92
Megan Meertens
He know he is really he is really a great kid. He is a great big brother. Um, he you know works super hard. He's a runner and he right now wants to be a Ps like a child pychichiatrist. So.

11:01.80
Bruce Anthony
Okay.

11:01.63
Megan Meertens
I mean he has goals and just kind of keeping those goals in mind when your friends are doing silly things you should just remember like you want to be a doctor like.

11:07.68
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, yeah, that's that's important and he's gonna make bad decisions because we did So you just yeah, that's a good That's a good thought process to have just don't go to Jail Just don't go to jail.

11:16.50
Megan Meertens
Um, yeah, but.

11:21.78
Megan Meertens
Like like I don't want to I don't want to call from Jail where if that's like my standard like.

11:25.89
Bruce Anthony
Right? Okay, so you said you lived in the Netherlands can you can you run down. Obviously the us Netherlands what was the other country that you lived in. Okay, so okay, well, that's an experience.

11:34.99
Megan Meertens
And I lived in Ireland but I was really little I was I went to kindergarten in Ireland.

11:43.40
Bruce Anthony
Um, and in the different states that you lived in here.

11:47.24
Megan Meertens
Um, we lived in South Carolina for a really short period of time Georgia Louisiana and then just Maryland yeah.

11:52.70
Bruce Anthony
South the south okay did any of your travels speaking more specifically like living in the Netherlands because that's where you lived as an adult with your family and then really living in the south I mean South Carolina Georgia and Louisiana that's the south. Um, did did any did did any ah part of these travels shape your parenting I know you said that um being looking at everybody and being inclusive is really really important. Um, these travels. I'm sure you faced some type of adversities with biracial children. Well triracial children multiracial multiracial children in the Netherlands, the Netherlands and the south. How did you kind of navigate those waters.

12:47.44
Megan Meertens
So the south like we were on military basis. So a lot like there were a lot of other families that like looked like my kids or um had kind of similar experiences on my kids so that was when we were in our bubble that was fine.

12:54.74
Bruce Anthony
Um, okay.

13:02.88
Megan Meertens
But when you you know, go to the store or go other places like I would get stopped and asked what my kids were on a regular basis. Um, when my youngest was just a baby I baby wore so I had her in a carrier I mean she was attached to me till she was probably 5 she just never wanted to leave her mom so she was just a baby and she looks like more like Latina like she's like got straight hair like I do and like Tanskin and it's like black so she looks so I have her and we're at the doctor and this nurse goes to me like oh it's so nice that you hold her like. You carry her like her people do and I was like I was like what people I've heard people and and you know so it's just like it's you know a lot of that kind of thing like my kids both my two oldest have red hair. So it was a lot of like well where did they get the red hair from like do you dye their hair.

13:42.27
Bruce Anthony
What's right? like what's.

13:59.80
Megan Meertens
What are they um people like will ask a lot of questions so that was like more the even or like there will be times that like my their dad was with them who and they'd be like that that can't be your kid because he's dark like he's dark skin. So.

13:59.37
Bruce Anthony
Um.

14:14.12
Bruce Anthony
Yeah.

14:17.32
Megan Meertens
Like they like that's not your kid like are you sure like when I had my son in the hospital a nurse said to his father like are you sure this child is yours? Um, this was actually in Maryland but so I mean in it.

14:24.63
Bruce Anthony
Wow and this is where god.

14:33.57
Megan Meertens
It is everywhere like I've had like even my daughter in in montgomery county when they were in mccps schools. Um, one of her teachers said oh I saw you walking in the neighborhood you were talking to some man and she was like no I was I was walking with my dad. She's like no no, you were talking to some man and so even in Maryland you get that right.

14:50.42
Bruce Anthony
4

14:52.95
Megan Meertens
Um, in the Netherlands we lived in a really um, kind of a country town in the netherlands so there were besides other military families. There were like no other black people. Um, so it was very interesting like I remember going to like our first trip to Paris.

15:03.77
Bruce Anthony
A.

15:10.85
Megan Meertens
And um, be like oh wow we're like around people again like there's all different types of people but I didn't think like there was a lot there like I didn't think that there were some like most people wouldn't make comments I think more comments have happened in the US um

15:15.30
Bruce Anthony
Um.

15:27.82
Bruce Anthony
Um, yeah.

15:28.91
Megan Meertens
And my kids actually went to school that was an international school so like my daughter's best friend was like from the czech republic my son had all these like friends from you know Germany from great Britain. Um, they took german every day.

15:40.58
Bruce Anthony
Yeah.

15:42.31
Megan Meertens
So I think that that like that aspect of it that they were learning german daily they were conversational in german was something that when we got back here while I let the german slide that was something I really when they started to get to middle school and had to take a language I said I don't care what classes you take it is important to me. Um. Like the state of Maryland is actually not the state. The Us has a seal of biliteracy and there's different avenues to gain that um one of them is taking the a p exam in whatever that language is and getting a 4 or 5 and so I said to them like I don't care. Whatever ever classes you take except for you pick a language and you stick with it.

16:04.28
Bruce Anthony
Are in.

16:19.80
Megan Meertens
So that was something I thought was super important because as Americans we know English and I think when and you know I think we think that that's a superior language and that um other people should learn it because that's what we know.

16:24.77
Bruce Anthony
Um, yeah.

16:37.27
Megan Meertens
And I think when we're talking about being a global citizen and being like looking across the aisle at other people. Even if we're not conversational in that language having some pieces of that language to be able to talk. So actually my son just got his a p scores so he is actually considered biliterate.

16:54.75
Bruce Anthony
Okay.

16:55.54
Megan Meertens
In Spanish So that was like a thing that was I like I think is super amazing and he actually wants to be a polygot so he is onto his next language. He's actually trilingual. Um somewhat you know like many many languages so he's.

17:02.26
Bruce Anthony
Okay I don't know what what is poly got I don't I don't know that. Okay.

17:11.55
Megan Meertens
He is fluent now in 3 languages Asl Spanish and English So I think that that that kind of piece of my parenting has kind of made him want to be able to converse and everybody in their language. Ah their first language and not feel like they have to be forced. To learn English or speak English to him.

17:28.84
Bruce Anthony
Oh that's pretty cool. All right look at you I hear you know raising the kids to be to be a little bit of everything I like that I I Well yeah.

17:37.72
Megan Meertens
Um, I mean they are a little bit of everything. Um.

17:42.29
Bruce Anthony
I mean yeah I mean it's funny because my mom tells the story of when we moved from Illinois to Lynchburg and my mom is just pull it delicately delicately very very fair skin. Um, but they thought she was white.

18:00.39
Bruce Anthony
Because she's white skinned with Blue Eyes straight black hair and me my brother and sister at her job. They had a swimming pool summer campus and everything and they had never seen they had never seen her kids So remember they think that she's white so she brings these three kids here and me and my siblings very much. Look black even though my sister is light as Hell. She very much doesn't look white and they were like well who are these kids and my mom was like these are my kids. Oh they're not did you adopt them? No I have the scars to show you? These are my kids and it's just funny how we.

18:21.23
Megan Meertens
But.

18:35.73
Bruce Anthony
We do that as Americans but in other countries is not like that from your experiences.

18:42.57
Megan Meertens
Um I think it is like that we just were kind of in like a very insulated area like and I think that there's definitely like more racism other areas like if you think about like think about the Ukraine when all the bombing started in the Ukraine and like how.

18:48.44
Bruce Anthony
Um, and.

18:58.83
Megan Meertens
White Ukrainians were getting out but like African immigrants were not um, right? So yeah, so I think that like you have that experience everywhere. Um I think we were just very insulated and there were definitely times like we would be out and like people would be pointing at the kids and.

19:00.27
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, they don't want to talk about that. They don't want to bring that up.

19:17.13
Megan Meertens
My husband of my husband at the time and and me so I think like there definitely was but a lot. Ah most of the time people wouldn't come up to us I think in America people will say something because they're speaking english whereas in Germany they would just speak in german and we wouldn't know what they were saying this.

19:34.49
Bruce Anthony
Wouldn't of you. They probably being stealth about it. Okay, so let's go back to college What made you choose education. Okay.

19:37.79
Megan Meertens
Um.

19:43.11
Megan Meertens
But my degree is actually not an education. So my degree is actually in family studies and um I was going to be a social worker and I did my internship and I was like I think social workers are amazing. I would never be able to leave my work at work. It would have I would have lasted maybe 2 years and I mean I have that little bit of that with education I actually did not go into education because almost every one of my ah older siblings is an educator and they would be like don't they were like don't do it. Don't don't do it. Go do something else.

20:00.52
Bruce Anthony
Are the.

20:11.94
Bruce Anthony
Oh okay.

20:18.83
Megan Meertens
I have a sibling that's a social was a social worker and then 2 others that were in education and the fourth is a sign language interpreter who worked in school so kind of an education as well. So they were like don't do it. Don't do it and then I took the lsat and I was thinking about going to law school. Um, but i.

20:26.94
Bruce Anthony
Yeah.

20:37.36
Megan Meertens
Kind of at that time was dating someone and um, that wasn't really feasible at that time. So I was like oh let me do this program through Pg County and um.

20:46.80
Bruce Anthony
Okay, yeah, you saw my face and this is like yo you opened the door to a question but I'm not going to go there just lays and gentlemen just because it's my friend I'm not gonna go there. Had it been anybody else. i' have been like yo you opened the door for me to to ask question but I ain't nobody's business I'm protecting my friend but go ahead. So you enter a pg County's program

20:59.28
Megan Meertens
Ah.

21:06.35
Megan Meertens
so yes so I did a like alternative like alternate certification program and at that time it was the first one in special ed which um, my dad's younger brother had down syndrome so and he lived with us.

21:10.51
Bruce Anthony
A.

21:20.48
Bruce Anthony
Um.

21:21.53
Megan Meertens
For from middle school on so I always like had a really super special place in my heart for kids who learned differently. Um, and so when I went into education like I knew that's where I wanted to be um so that was I did this program.

21:29.32
Bruce Anthony
Earth.

21:40.63
Megan Meertens
I had a baby stayed at home for 11 years with my babies and then now I'm back in education so back doing that malachi so when I had him? Yeah I had Malachi I kept working.

21:47.51
Bruce Anthony
Wait a minute which which baby was this so is your first.

21:59.30
Megan Meertens
And then I went actually back to work the following year but at that time like my then husband went back into the military and I quit midyear to move to Louisiana and we were in Louisiana for a couple years we were back in Maryland for like a year and a half then it just like we were moving every two years. So um.

22:14.83
Bruce Anthony
Yeah.

22:18.26
Megan Meertens
After the Netherlands the kids and I came and stabilized here because our ah oldest was getting into middle school. We wanted to keep him you know stable for his kind of academic growth and just socially as well. So then I went back to work.

22:32.50
Bruce Anthony
Ok, all well that that's broke I'm not going to see see ladies and gentlemen I'm trying to be good I'm trying to be good. There's so many ok all right just to end this segment. Why.

22:43.00
Megan Meertens
Um, you know you don't have you don't have to.

22:49.71
Bruce Anthony
Why Why did they with the lstat not work out. You're you're at the job that you're supposed. You're doing now what you're supposed to be doing but you said that you was going to be taking L stats and that you were studying for it.

23:03.92
Megan Meertens
Know I took oh I don't ever study for tests I took the lsats and I actually did really really well on them I Just um I was engaged and oh no.

23:12.29
Bruce Anthony
Wait a minute do way went a con no hold on did I not know this.

23:18.93
Megan Meertens
But probably not I dated him for a lot of years like 6 years yeah

23:25.61
Bruce Anthony
Ah, no, this isn't the same guy from college is it and I'm sorry I'm not okay I'm sorry I Just remember there always being a guy I'd never met him and look let me just tell you ladies gentlemen I've known her.

23:27.36
Megan Meertens
Yeah, yeah.

23:43.20
Bruce Anthony
For a long time this we were homies like you came to my house I was at your house like like my family knows who you are So it's like I I knew you and I never met this dude. Okay, all right.

23:56.59
Megan Meertens
And well he he he was also in the military so he was actually stationed in Georgia for most the time it was in college. So.

24:05.84
Bruce Anthony
On that ladies and gentlemen. We gonna get to the next set. Well I'm just gonna in that 1 right here? yeah.

24:19.61
Bruce Anthony
I We're back in. Oh my goodness if I could if youall knew what the hell we was talking about during the segment break Good God But y'all that this isn't the after hours episode we get. We get back to talking about the kids the babies all right? So he moved around so Much. Um. Kids are Multiracial. We were already talked about um ah how the environment was how did they adapt to just moving so much just being in so many different environments did you see them having any issues with it. Did they have any issues with it. Did. Issues develop later because of the constant moving.

24:56.26
Megan Meertens
So at the beginning like that's all they knew right? that was malachi we moved to Louisiana when he was nine months old welliana was born in Louisiana we moved back to Maryland before she was even a year old. And I mean we moved so much malachi at this point has been in I think six seven schools and um so I think at the beginning like it was fine like they were used to it. Their friends would leave. You know they'd make a really good friend a year later that friend would move so that was something that was um. Normal for them and I think the thing that really did help is I was always there I was the consistent in their life and we always like they all have a stuffed animal that stuffed animal like never left their sight. They still like my 17 year old who will kill me when he hears this he still has that light on his bed like I mean.

25:36.19
Bruce Anthony
Um, a.

25:45.10
Bruce Anthony
Um.

25:49.89
Bruce Anthony
Um.

25:50.76
Megan Meertens
It is but I joke with him like I knew football players in college who had like their blankets with them from when they were little so he's all good too. So So like they always had that that traveled with us that was their security and I was there like. I was always the one like because I wasn't working I was at everything I did everything so that was consistent and I think that we became a really close unit as a family I am super big on family traditions.

26:18.94
Bruce Anthony
Move.

26:25.35
Megan Meertens
So there is probably you name something some kind of time you can celebrate. There's probably a tradition in my family for it and so for me that was always super important that like my kids had that consistency. Um, and then now though like as they're older. We live in an area like we're in Frederick County now

26:29.29
Bruce Anthony
Who.

26:45.90
Megan Meertens
We live in an area people don't leave and so my kids now as teenagers are like yeah like my son's girlfriend like has had her same friends since she was in Kindergarten he's like isn't that so weird like that you could have friends from Kindergarten like.

26:48.30
Bruce Anthony
Um.

27:01.68
Megan Meertens
I don't I've never known him anywhere longer than like 6 years so I think now like when they see that and I think with just like even moving here. We moved here now two years ago um just kind of trying to get in friend groups like it was a little bit more difficult but they have found. In this area. Some of the best friends they've ever had in their lives. They um, we were in montgomery county and they just still had a really hard time like making connections because they had a really different lived experience like they have just had.

27:35.43
Bruce Anthony
Ah.

27:38.74
Megan Meertens
A very different upbringing than this the kids that they were there but and they kind of had to figure out how to like not be army Brats anymore right? Like how do I How do I get into this but now they just have really amazing friends. They have you know some and so that I think it's.

27:45.20
Bruce Anthony
Yeah.

27:56.10
Megan Meertens
They've gotten in those friends but now they're going to lead them like my my son still he's only going to have been at that school for 3 years because he did his freshman year in Montgomery County so he's still only be 3 years and then go but I'm like well you'll be able to always come home like these people are people you'll be able to see on Christmas breaks and summers and things like that. So I think now they like.

28:02.74
Bruce Anthony
Oh.

28:10.16
Bruce Anthony
Right.

28:15.48
Megan Meertens
They notice it. But um, they definitely like when we moved here they're like we don't ever want to move again like we want to be you know forty years old and coming back to this house like we want to be bringing our kids to this house. So so that is let's hope. Um, so.

28:26.62
Bruce Anthony
So you stuck with that house. Yeah.

28:35.45
Megan Meertens
Like that is definitely like something now that they like really see value in that they didn't before and I think it's kind of I said I think it's kind of shaped too like my my son especially used to always like oh I'm going to go like away for college and now he's like yeah mom might I don't really want to be more than a couple hours for me like.

28:40.17
Bruce Anthony
Would you can't no go ahead.

28:54.85
Megan Meertens
It's now been like. Okay now I kind of feel like I want to be a little bit more stabilized.

28:56.83
Bruce Anthony
Well I mean you can relate to like his girlfriend because you lived in the same area and had some of those same friends from elementary middle school and high school I mean they they may have changed but like you know my 2 closest guy friends because you went to high school with one of them.

29:15.86
Megan Meertens
Um, yeah.

29:16.50
Bruce Anthony
And they known each other since they were eight years old I entered the picture when I when we were all sixteen. So but they they literally know each other since they were an elementary school and that's kind of the area now they're back in the area where they grew up just for a rundown for people that are overseas because there are people actually in the Netherlands that actually listen to the show. Montgomery County is a county outside of Dc is a dcsuburb I still say that Mont Gumy County is part of the Dmv. The Dmv is not your motor vehicle association. It's the District Washington Dc Maryland and Virginia.

29:43.75
Megan Meertens
It is.

29:53.18
Bruce Anthony
So Northern Virginia where I live is also considered part of the Dmv because I am literally five miles from the harbor um and Montgermy County is a suburb now Frederick that's the country.

30:08.71
Megan Meertens
It used to be the country like I mean growing up. We called it Fred neck like I felt like every time we would drive there like it was this far away place but I have to say like now they're doing so much building. It is like the fastest growing county and in the state.

30:11.74
Bruce Anthony
Wow.

30:27.63
Megan Meertens
Um, we were the own there. Their schools were the only ones that had increases in enrollment in like the past couple of years so it's definitely like you still have the country areas and like I think especially like where we live. We are my kids school polls in some of those country areas so you definitely have like.

30:46.13
Megan Meertens
A lot of um, interesting views that my kids deal with at school like.

30:48.97
Bruce Anthony
You could just say it. You could just say this is unsolicited perspectives we deal with the real raw here and your daughter your daughter listens to the show. So she knows we deal in real go ahead and say what you want to say.

30:56.42
Megan Meertens
Um, I mean you know you just? yeah like I mean last year no yeah last school year like there were people. There's apparently this pretend whipping app like it sounds like a whip. And they were like doing it towards black classmates like you know, um, like there's a lot of racism and homophobia there. No surprisingly no one got that happened but like you like.

31:20.30
Bruce Anthony
Ah, somebody didn't get the ass. What didn't nobody get the ass. What.

31:30.20
Megan Meertens
And so there's definitely like you pull in some of those country but you also have like just a lot of like my daughter took a p us history and they had like a sheet that they were all studying on for the ap exam so they're like all writing different answers and like she got into an argument because somebody put like Trump is still the president like a race. Joe Biden and she like literally wrote on it. This is not like commented on it. This is not for your delusions. This is about facts so like yes oh she is the most calm but she's in that area. She's so calm like.

31:58.34
Bruce Anthony
That's your daughter. Yeah.

32:08.74
Megan Meertens
That area is not like niche I am fiery my son is fiery um she will meticulously pick you apart? Um, and do it So sweetly that everyone thinks she's amazing. What she is but she just and I think that was that moving here was a huge shock for them because.

32:27.79
Bruce Anthony
Um.

32:28.21
Megan Meertens
When we lived in Clarksburg yes, there were definitely like that. There were still those things but you had those nice white people. Um Clarksburg is Montgomery County ok it's always been Montgomery County it just always felt like.

32:35.70
Bruce Anthony
Is Clarksburg consider Montgomery County they didn't use to be I don't know about the yeah that yes because that's further north.

32:46.30
Megan Meertens
It was just the boonies when we grew up there was just farmland there when we were growing up.

32:54.58
Bruce Anthony
Then my parents old house in Germantown which we we thought we was like oh we in the country like we' in the country it was.

33:00.67
Megan Meertens
Um, yes, well all that area. All that area was the country where we were in high school. Um, but I think like really like you had those still those nice white people like I'm liberal. You have those those white women that say they're you know, liberal but vote for Trump like outwardly. They get along whereas in Frederick. You don't have that so much you definitely have pockets of of people that are like nope I've been in Frederick my whole life. My grandparents have been in Frederick our whole life. We are die hard and we don't like your kind. Um.

33:34.39
Bruce Anthony
Um, okay.

33:34.87
Megan Meertens
And they're and and they're more willing to say it and um, my kind of kids experience in the schools has been most of the teachers kind of don't Care. There's no kind of um, like my youngest got called a monkey at School. Um, and I. Email the Principal I wanted to sit down with her and it was just kind of like she brought in like 5 girls and it kind of was like oh well, you just kind of looked like one so we called you one but there was no discussion of like that's not acceptable to call someone that especially someone who is black like that is not ok. And so like nobody knew how to deal with that. So like the educators don't know how to have those conversations and aren't comfortable having those conversations so it just kind of just like goes by the wayside.

34:26.10
Bruce Anthony
Ah, when you get rid of diversity and inclusion you know seminars to help teachers and educators. This is what you get this inability to ah moderate. Conversations between young people who are just plain ignorant because that's all it is these kids are ignorant. They don't know anything. They don't have any life true true true life experiences yet. They just know what not to say the kids aren't their kids nowadays are smarter than we were despite the fact what the boomer generation wants to say. They write like I I have ah a boomer client and she works for Nasa and she's just like this youngest generation isn't smart and I was like yeah they do some dumb stuff. However, they can program stuff at a much younger age than engineers were doing in the 80 s. Right? like that type of technology advancement. They they gain it quicker so in that regard they're smarter so I don't want to disregard and say that they are cultured and enlightened and more aware than what we are but their life experiences is still kind of a bubble.

35:34.94
Megan Meertens
Yeah, and I and I think right your parents shape your view and I think especially like when we're talking about white parents like where white people aren't comfortable talking about race. We've never had to be like we can live in a world.

35:36.82
Bruce Anthony
As opposed to the real world. Yes.

35:52.83
Megan Meertens
Where Race never impacts us I don't have to think about it. So I don't need to talk about it like and I think that's very like almost every day we're talking about race at my house like we're reading books we're like having these very in-depth Conversations. We're talking about things that like they've heard at school. But an average white family doesn't need to do that because Race will never impact their life. Yes.

36:14.90
Bruce Anthony
Well in that because race impacts your life on a day to day basis because you're the mother of multiracial children and they're multiracial. So yeah, you have to have those conversations whereas.

36:27.10
Megan Meertens
And I think that and I think that that has really like as an educator like made me like a mom of multiracial kids has made me an even more anti-racist educator I Always want to.

36:40.42
Bruce Anthony
Oh.

36:44.75
Megan Meertens
Be the person that I wish was my kid' teacher. So when I think a story ist a is going to be damaging like if we're going to read a fairy tale and it's about snow white and her skin is so beautiful because she's so white like that's not appropriate like we're not going to have this because what is that sending what message is that sending to everyone whose skin is not super white. And I wouldn't want that red in my kids classroom because I wouldn't want them to ever feel less than I wouldn't ever want another parent's child to feel less than and so I think for me like you know I'm fiery I think that that's been an area where I've super like I've had to grow like I get really annoyed like why don't you just get it.

37:05.30
Bruce Anthony
Um.

37:24.20
Megan Meertens
Why do like if I say this to you. Why don't you just listen to me to other educators and that's not helpful right? if I'm going like all so you know all speed ahead I'm that's not going to get anybody to stop and think right.

37:39.47
Bruce Anthony
Um, letter.

37:39.75
Megan Meertens
So I think I've really had to be like very intentional with my conversations at work. Um, or my conversations with my kids teachers I am the first one that will get on a you know email and be like this is completely inappropriate. Why did you just give my kid. Ah, um, assignment where she had to talk about the benefits of Slavery. There are no benefits like literally none we have enslaved people that is not an appropriate thing. We're not defending what our forefathers did because it was completely inappropriate and.

38:01.34
Bruce Anthony
Um, who ah.

38:10.49
Bruce Anthony
Okay, hold on hold on you're about to get fiery now. Are you just pulling that because of the this the situation that happened last week in Florida or was your daughter actually given an assignment like that.

38:23.16
Megan Meertens
Um, my daughter was actually given an assignment where it was to say like basically we're the the founders of the Us like were're okay with having slavery and it like enslaving people. Why it was ok and then like why it wasn't ok. And like it's never ok. Yeah, but still not ok.

38:40.64
Bruce Anthony
Okay, so to give you the compare comparison and contrast. Okay well, ah no, it's not okay I'm not to never mind I I don't want I know that people watch this episode. They'll click what I were about to say next is be like oh Bruce was for slavery now.

38:51.00
Megan Meertens
Um.

38:57.82
Bruce Anthony
No I'll just say economists will find a reason why it was beneficial but it was not beneficial. You know what you could just pay people. You can pay people to do the work. You know that that could be a thing as well instead of.

39:10.68
Megan Meertens
Um, yeah, it was It was beneficial for white enslavers.

39:15.75
Bruce Anthony
You're right? Yeah, it was beneficial for the ass. They got rich. They got rich off of it. Um, you you already I could tell that you actually read the questions ladies and gentlemen before I interview anybody actually send them the questions ahead of time just so they have an idea of what we're Goingnna speak speak about I'm giving you all a peek behind the curtain. It. It is clear that Megan Meertens has I don't know really studied the question lineup because you answered the question that I was about to ask next without me actually answering asking it which is going which is discobobulate me and I don't know where I want to go next. But I ah think I think.

39:50.00
Megan Meertens
Ah, f.

39:51.90
Bruce Anthony
This is where I'm going to go next with all the travel and all the work that that you do and that you're done with the kids. How do you balance work at family.

40:03.11
Megan Meertens
My kids always come first. There is no balance. Um I Love my students at school. Um and they get the best of me for the time on there and the best of me when I need to prep at home. But ultimately my kids like I find like.

40:19.86
Megan Meertens
My kids are the ones who are going to remember if I'm there or not they are going to be the ones that know if I'm at my son's track me like and I've been super lucky I Um, it's important to me to work for principals who value that like.

40:21.46
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, that was true.

40:37.64
Megan Meertens
My principal now anything if I'm like oh I need to you know I'll be 30 minutes late I got to take my kid here. No problem like I got you like your kids are the most important people to you so that for me is is what's important and I have very little time with.

40:54.53
Bruce Anthony
Um, yeah.

40:57.12
Megan Meertens
My kids so they work as a job a job I do love? Um, but my kids are my heart. They are my purpose on Earth Um I will forever say being a mom was the only thing I've ever wanted to be when I grew up. Um.

41:10.55
Bruce Anthony
Oh oh.

41:14.20
Megan Meertens
And it's true I tell my kids that all the time. So I mean the past two years I've worked 2 jobs. Um, and I've been in grad school and the worst part of it is I would not sit and eat dinner with my kids so that's something that I this year I can't do i.

41:26.38
Bruce Anthony
This.

41:30.82
Megan Meertens
I Love that time. That's when I get to hear about their day and and whatever else they want to talk about and so it's really making sure that they have time with me because someday soon. They're not going to be here. They're going to be outliving their lives like they should be but.

41:48.14
Bruce Anthony
Someday real soon real soon. y'll! This is entering in his senior year he's got one more year left under Mama and then he's gonna go off to school and you know how it is when we go off to school. We don't really want to come back home.

41:49.81
Megan Meertens
Yeah I. And I.

41:59.37
Megan Meertens
You know, come because he loves his mom He he he is he he worries about his mom. He worries about the sisters he he likes to take care of us all so he'll come home. But.

42:01.70
Bruce Anthony
Okay.

42:15.48
Bruce Anthony
Okay, um I feel like you already did this but I want I'm looking for something real specific. Can you share a heart warming or inspiring moment from not only your teaching career. But also your journey as a mother.

42:32.91
Megan Meertens
Um, um, honestly I think so I'm not one of these parents that are like my kid is my friend like I'm the mom I don't need to be your friend. Um, but.

42:33.19
Bruce Anthony
Yeah, no.

42:42.36
Bruce Anthony
Right? right.

42:47.20
Megan Meertens
But yesterday my oldest was like talking about his insta stories his close friend and he was saying to sister like isn't mom on your close friend. She's on my close friends like and just having like kids who really feel that they can trust me and talk to me that I am still the parent and I'm going to you know, get in on you. If you're not doing what you should be doing but having kids that really can talk with me. That's always been something as a mom I've wanted and I always try to be that same way with my students. So like when like when I have a student that's like oh like you're the only person I can talk to like.

43:12.72
Bruce Anthony
And.

43:24.22
Megan Meertens
Sure I want them to have a lot of people to talk to I think is important kids have someone they can talk to but that's that's important or when I have a family that says like you know I wasn't really sure of you at the beginning of the year but like I realize I you know you know that.

43:38.42
Bruce Anthony
I'm sorry that's just funny to me I wasn't sure about your ass at the beginning the year but you all right? You good people.

43:42.61
Megan Meertens
I think.

43:47.40
Megan Meertens
I yeah I mean and and sometimes like I I come across like I have a resting bitch face like I come across like this is it? Um, but I love to be able to develop those relationships with families and have them be like or have a have. Ah, relationship with a family who I have to sometimes be the first person that told them their child isn't learning at a typical rate and so those times when I have a parent say to me like you made this journey. Okay, like that's important to me right? because I always try to think of like.

44:10.65
Bruce Anthony
And her.

44:24.45
Megan Meertens
How would I feel on the other side of this table and like my son just got diagnosed with a h d like I miss it with my own kid I mean I probably I've missed it with myself too but just like those those 5 kind of times are when I'm like ok this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

44:31.84
Bruce Anthony
Right? Yeah yeah.

44:44.12
Megan Meertens
It's always all about the kids and that for me is my purpose like I want our kids to grow up and be amazing people and so.

44:57.10
Bruce Anthony
Ah, ah, that was a great answer to a question I did not answer ask I asked for a specific moment. You gave me a you gave me a really generalized. It was a great answer. It was a great answer but it was really generalized.

45:04.89
Megan Meertens
Um, a specific I can't do you know I But there's a thing I don't know if I have like a very specific moment because.

45:15.20
Bruce Anthony
That could have been it with it that could have been it the the moment about teaching could have been it with where the parent was like I don't know about your as at beginning a year but you know what you all right? like that's that's a moment right there.

45:17.11
Megan Meertens
They happen all the time.

45:26.87
Megan Meertens
Yeah I mean I guess like that just I mean things happen all the time and.

45:33.28
Bruce Anthony
Okay, there is Ai n't anything that okay, that's cool because that I guess that was a moment that that he's like that you're on his closest friends lists and he's like your you know your mom's not on your closest friends because my mom's not on my closest friends list. A lot of things I might you you know my Instagram stories a lot stuff I want my mom to see on there. Ah and I'm grown. Yeah no and I'm grown and I Don want my momma to understand that stuff but okay so those are the oh yeah.

45:53.91
Megan Meertens
Yeah, she's probably better not being on there.

46:01.93
Megan Meertens
Um I I'm not on his closest snap friend story. Let's just be real honest, a younger generation. But I mean it really is or when they just say like you're always there like I the probably the most recent like and. As a parent right? I've had 17 years of amazing memories with my kids like this heartwarming thing I I think the most recent one man, my girls probably were like you are really your son's biggest hype man. Um my son set a ah goal at the end at for the beginning of it.

46:18.46
Bruce Anthony
Smith.

46:36.87
Megan Meertens
Indoor season for outdoor season to go a sub 2 minute eight hundred meters for anyone that knows running that's a pretty great standard if you go sub 2 minutes you're you're okay um he ended up getting hurt the first meet of outdoor and was out for almost the whole season came back for counties and it regions went sub to.

46:42.18
Bruce Anthony
The.

46:56.77
Megan Meertens
Um, so that was probably like and just like him looking at me and like that was this thing that like I knew how Hardy was going to be working and I've been like with him so that like but it's all these little things or when I hear like my daughter get her like just.

46:57.10
Bruce Anthony
Um, say where.

47:14.63
Megan Meertens
Have her voice be like oh yeah I had to tell this person or like I Um, you know set up this this in in middle school. She decided to set up ah a club because there wasn't a club kind of a diverse club for people. So She's like oh I'm going to sit with the Principal and do that. So Those are the big moments for me is when I see my kids getting their voice or setting goals and accomplishing them. Um.

47:41.25
Bruce Anthony
Okay, all right that that's a the first answer was good. That's a that's a better answer like and okay, all right? Ah, that's all the questions I had how do you think this experience for you went. It's only been six months of finally getting you on here but I finally did.

47:57.43
Megan Meertens
Um, I'm.

47:57.44
Bruce Anthony
And for somebody that's my friend and has known me for a long time that supports this show. Ah I thought that you would have been on here sooner. Ah, but like you said early, you know life life.

48:08.81
Megan Meertens
It Yeah you know I might have used life a little bit as a crutch I was a little bit nervous. Um I'm an extreme introvert and I don't like talking in front of people or to people. So.

48:18.87
Bruce Anthony
We but but these these situations you know I tell all the guests and and you listen to the show theirre conversations their're interviews but they're conversations. It's it's just like back in the day where we were either at each other's house or we were an corner a stone. Chit Chad and it's the exact same in just the language has been toned down. We ain't cussing this much on here. That's all yeah I know you already said to be where and I'm debating whether I'm gonna cut it if I'm gonna keep it in I'm debating weather. That's all right? That's all right? so.

48:42.29
Megan Meertens
That that right there is a real stretch for me.

48:53.31
Megan Meertens
Um I went sorry I.

48:57.43
Bruce Anthony
As a 1 parting message to people that I have a lot of people who are young parents people that are expecting what would be a bit of advice that you would give for those people as as their children get older and the children start to enter in teenage years. And just the beginning years of parenting what advice would you give to parents.

49:18.99
Megan Meertens
Beginning years if you survive you've made it. But I mean I mean really like and I think there's a saying right? that says um when you have a baby. Everyone has an opinion right? Everybody can tell you how to take care of a baby. When you get to be a teen. Yeah a teen parent. We just look at each other go good luck to you and so I think like when you have a baby right? If you can't do anything wrong, right? If you're however, you feed them.

49:44.32
Bruce Anthony
Um, yeah.

49:53.21
Megan Meertens
You're feeding them. However, you love them and nurture them. You're loving and nurturing them as long as you're doing those things you're okay with a baby. Um, when you have a teen. It's different and I think a lot of times like we want to control our teens. Um, we really like we've had so much control when they're little.

50:05.83
Bruce Anthony
Yes.

50:12.84
Megan Meertens
That we want to still hold on to that control. My best advice is to start to let go is as as often as they're going to make mistakes they're going to make stupid decisions. They're going to do things that you're going to go like why? Why are they doing this but you have to let them go because.

50:18.60
Bruce Anthony
Ah.

50:30.30
Megan Meertens
For me I Always think like I want them to make bad decisions while they're still in a controlled environment because when they get older. They're going to make bad decisions and I want them to think a little bit more before they start to make those decisions for themselves because I can't be there with them and I think just also like keeping that communication open right? like.

50:34.93
Bruce Anthony
Ah, that's yeah, okay.

50:43.81
Bruce Anthony
The.

50:50.10
Megan Meertens
We can I can get mad at my son I can tell him you know or my daughter and tell him they're not making good choices. They did something that was like completely ridiculous. They're sneaking out the house and I'm going to knock them out. Whatever like but ultimately like I need to have that conversation about why and so my son is very much Like. Don't just tell me no, don't just tell me I can't do this have a conversation and I think if that part is hard. We still want to control and we want to be the parent and we can be the parent while having conversations with our kids and especially as they get older like holding letting them have some control they need to have control of their life. So. That's my biggest for teens but also just good luck. But.

51:34.18
Bruce Anthony
So on that note I want to thank you. Thank you for finally coming on the show. Thank you for all your support. Thank you for your friendship for over twenty years and we still running. Um, thank you.

51:48.63
Megan Meertens
You're welcome. Thank you for having me although I should have said I wanted your sister to do it since I really want her to be my best friend.

51:53.56
Bruce Anthony
Everybody is in love with my sister everybody you know I'm I'm so glad that I am just secure and who I am because the name of the show is unsolicited perspectives with Bruce Anthony but damn it if everybody.

52:06.30
Megan Meertens
Um, how you know I Love you.

52:09.19
Bruce Anthony
Yeah I know but damn it if everybody want to put Jay andrea on there. She as she will ah quickly tell everybody. She's a weekly guest even though she's a co-host and that's where she doesn't want to admit, she's a co-host. But yes, um.

52:23.12
Megan Meertens
Um.

52:24.23
Bruce Anthony
She's pretty cool but but thank you for the compliment I Guess there was a compliment for me in there as well I guess but thank you? Yeah yeah, you did you did and a good thing that you know I'm tough and my feelings are hurt.

52:31.51
Megan Meertens
No you you know I Love you I Decided to give you a little bit.

52:42.96
Bruce Anthony
But I love you too.

53:29.31
Bruce Anthony
Once again I want to thank Meghan for coming on the show. Ah a little insight to to our banter like I said she's one of my closest friends I've known her since college and owner for over 20 years she knows about all my dirt and college. All of it. We ain't getting on that about this but on on ah on this episode. We didn't talk about that nor were y'all gonna get the information on her dirt. That's just not what we're doing here. Ah, but once again I want to thank her for coming on the show I really appreciate it. Um, for those of you who don't know we have a web website unsolicited perspectiveives.com ah, gives you all the information about our podcast. You can find all our Ardo and all of our video episodes on there where you can find them on your phones. You can leave a review on there once again, subscribe to our Youtube channel we have some Youtube exclusive television ah episodes with our rapid. Ah, reflections patreon there's over 40 episodes on our Patreon page for talk is straight-ishsh and after hours on cen with my sister. So if y'all love the episodes with my sister on the sibling happy hou hour the after after hours unsistered those are episodes with my sister. That are exclusively to the Patreon page um uncensored real unfiltered raw join it. Also our store will be going live on August first where you could get merch.

54:55.99
Bruce Anthony
It'll just be t-shirts in the in the beginning but we'll build out more merch as I design more and more stuff. But yeah, like subscribe comment leave reviews on the websites or on Youtube or wherever you get the audio podcast and until next time as always a holla.